PUA Forum :: From FWB to Relationship to sour?

I personally have a tough time believing that over 4 months she hasn't made an effort to get her things or escalate the break up if she's so into you (and from what you've described, she does sound into you).

200 miles is not 2000 miles. She could get it done in a day.

You are more comfortable with that situation than I would be under the same circumstances.

It depends on what you can handle I guess... I couldn't handle that situation, and if I was really into her, I'd probably try to figure out an alternative with her (not suggesting you help her get her shit... Just talk about alternatives).

I've been on this forum for a year -- and I've never really seen you post about your own exclusivity with a girl, so... For what what's worth:

I sort of think losing your cool is warranted here if you care about her. Don't want her fucking another guy? - It's ok to say so at this point IMHO. You're past pick up and into a relationship.

I get that maybe she cares about her shit.... Valid. We all have shit we care about... But she HAS done without this shit for months now, seemingly no worse for wear.

One other thing: what large items which belong in storage are sentimental? Must be furniture, right? (Fair enough if it is)... If we're talking about smaller stuff she should have handled that already. The reason I mention this is I can't actually really think of anything above the size of, say a television, that I'd consider super sentimental and that I could live without for several months...

Good luck, Heywood.

Quote:

High value antiques from her former shop.
She gave me 4 Vargas numbered prints for my birthday.

You are correct. Its been a while since I gave a shit. My posts are all true , fucking girls is easy, relationship is difficult.

Update, she canceled on him. She is here.

Quote:

She canceled on him. Which means what? Same shit, different day? Don't forget to make good decisions for your own well being. If you want to continue to put up with this shit, by all means do it. But if you really want to solve the problem and remove a point of contention from the relationship, help her get her shit out. If between the two of you there isn't a budget to drive 200 miles to pick up some shit, this relationship has a tough road to hoe. Sorry if that is blunt or harsh, but I agree with the poster above who more or less said, where there's a will, there's a way. She's not moving mountains, she's just finding a new home for some shit. By pandering to it, you're displaying lower value. Not that you need to be a dick and give an ultimatum, but how long does this game go on before you decide you've won all you can?

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Mar 21, 2014 6:23 pm ]
Post subject:	From FWB to Relationship to sour?
Background: When we met, she was just another HB chillin at Buffalo Wild Wings with a beer, by herself at a corner table. I asked what she was up to, and joined her. I banged her 3 hours later. Turns out, she moved on her LTR 200 miles away a year earlier but was semi keeping it as a LDR, hadn't seen him for a couple months, and was storing up a bundle of horny she unleashed on me!! I had my own LDR going at the same time (while still being Heywood at the same time), and we were both cool with that. A week later, she was back at my place. We fucked like rabbits all weekend long. A week after that it was becoming a regular thing. Quicly becoming one of my FWBs I went and seen my LDR two more times. Then we discussed how we both had plans of dumping our “others’, and continued to progress until she was/is at my place nearly every night. Only returning to hers to maintain. I dumped my “other” as planned. She did not because she still has a house full of her belongings there, and they hold great value to her. We continued to move forward, and even made plans to cohabitation. Life was all sunshine and roses and shit!! She even dumped the “L” word on me last week. I even quit calling any other booty calls. She did remain in contact with this dude, and did not attempt to hide it, but had not seen him in months. Fast forward to Wednesday. After putting up with being put off for months, He not only requested to visit, but forcefully verbally insisted. He will be here the weekend. She is insistent on not ending it til she gets her shit out of his place and into storage. (Remember its 200 miles away) Not easy logistics. YES she will fuck him, to keep her little Charades going. Very fearful he will destroy or keep her from her shit. I maintained frame, only stated I understood, but was not happy about it, and just kind of frosted her out. She swears, it will be business as usual soon as he leaves. I can live with that IF: 1. She’s not blowing smoke up my ass. 2. She continues to move forward with the separation, and gets her own shit DONE. (I sure as fuck am not going to help her get it, or fund it!) It’s now “D” day. She fucked my brains out last night, then professed her love and tears, I remained SOLID. I even thanked her for the weekend Hall Pass! (More tears lol) I will go complete no contact until she contacts ME, my reply will not be needy or speedy, and neither will it be eager! Yes, I like this one, I have not fucked another girl in 4 months now. NO I don’t have any sort of oneites, in fact I’m going to sarg my ass off, and drunk dial a couple booty calls. And as long as they will still fuck me after they see her hair product in the bathroom, and random panties and what not. Do you think she will eventually leave this guy? Or do I set her shit outside Monday?

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Fri Mar 21, 2014 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: From FWB to Relationship to sour?
I personally have a tough time believing that over 4 months she hasn't made an effort to get her things or escalate the break up if she's so into you (and from what you've described, she does sound into you). 200 miles is not 2000 miles. She could get it done in a day. You are more comfortable with that situation than I would be under the same circumstances.

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Fri Mar 21, 2014 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: From FWB to Relationship to sour?
Quote: I personally have a tough time believing that over 4 months she hasn't made an effort to get her things or escalate the break up if she's so into you (and from what you've described, she does sound into you). 200 miles is not 2000 miles. She could get it done in a day. You are more comfortable with that situation than I would be under the same circumstances. Solid points. I did not mention there is nowhere for her to put the crap. Storage or transporting is beyond her budget means at this point. I was comfortable up to this point, that's what triggered the post.

Author:	CharlesFinley [ Sat Mar 22, 2014 12:18 am ]
Post subject:	Re: From FWB to Relationship to sour?
It depends on what you can handle I guess... I couldn't handle that situation, and if I was really into her, I'd probably try to figure out an alternative with her (not suggesting you help her get her shit... Just talk about alternatives). I've been on this forum for a year -- and I've never really seen you post about your own exclusivity with a girl, so... For what what's worth: I sort of think losing your cool is warranted here if you care about her. Don't want her fucking another guy? - It's ok to say so at this point IMHO. You're past pick up and into a relationship. I get that maybe she cares about her shit.... Valid. We all have shit we care about... But she HAS done without this shit for months now, seemingly no worse for wear. One other thing: what large items which belong in storage are sentimental? Must be furniture, right? (Fair enough if it is)... If we're talking about smaller stuff she should have handled that already. The reason I mention this is I can't actually really think of anything above the size of, say a television, that I'd consider super sentimental and that I could live without for several months... Good luck, Heywood.

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Sat Mar 22, 2014 2:35 am ]
Post subject:	Re: From FWB to Relationship to sour?
Quote: It depends on what you can handle I guess... I couldn't handle that situation, and if I was really into her, I'd probably try to figure out an alternative with her (not suggesting you help her get her shit... Just talk about alternatives). I've been on this forum for a year -- and I've never really seen you post about your own exclusivity with a girl, so... For what what's worth: I sort of think losing your cool is warranted here if you care about her. Don't want her fucking another guy? - It's ok to say so at this point IMHO. You're past pick up and into a relationship. I get that maybe she cares about her shit.... Valid. We all have shit we care about... But she HAS done without this shit for months now, seemingly no worse for wear. One other thing: what large items which belong in storage are sentimental? Must be furniture, right? (Fair enough if it is)... If we're talking about smaller stuff she should have handled that already. The reason I mention this is I can't actually really think of anything above the size of, say a television, that I'd consider super sentimental and that I could live without for several months... Good luck, Heywood. High value antiques from her former shop. She gave me 4 Vargas numbered prints for my birthday. You are correct. Its been a while since I gave a shit. My posts are all true , fucking girls is easy, relationship is difficult. Update, she canceled on him. She is here.

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Author:	vhou812 [ Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:43 am ]
Post subject:	Re: From FWB to Relationship to sour?
Quote: Quote: It depends on what you can handle I guess... I couldn't handle that situation, and if I was really into her, I'd probably try to figure out an alternative with her (not suggesting you help her get her shit... Just talk about alternatives). I've been on this forum for a year -- and I've never really seen you post about your own exclusivity with a girl, so... For what what's worth: I sort of think losing your cool is warranted here if you care about her. Don't want her fucking another guy? - It's ok to say so at this point IMHO. You're past pick up and into a relationship. I get that maybe she cares about her shit.... Valid. We all have shit we care about... But she HAS done without this shit for months now, seemingly no worse for wear. One other thing: what large items which belong in storage are sentimental? Must be furniture, right? (Fair enough if it is)... If we're talking about smaller stuff she should have handled that already. The reason I mention this is I can't actually really think of anything above the size of, say a television, that I'd consider super sentimental and that I could live without for several months... Good luck, Heywood. High value antiques from her former shop. She gave me 4 Vargas numbered prints for my birthday. You are correct. Its been a while since I gave a shit. My posts are all true , fucking girls is easy, relationship is difficult. Update, she canceled on him. She is here. She canceled on him. Which means what? Same shit, different day? Don't forget to make good decisions for your own well being. If you want to continue to put up with this shit, by all means do it. But if you really want to solve the problem and remove a point of contention from the relationship, help her get her shit out. If between the two of you there isn't a budget to drive 200 miles to pick up some shit, this relationship has a tough road to hoe. Sorry if that is blunt or harsh, but I agree with the poster above who more or less said, where there's a will, there's a way. She's not moving mountains, she's just finding a new home for some shit. By pandering to it, you're displaying lower value. Not that you need to be a dick and give an ultimatum, but how long does this game go on before you decide you've won all you can?

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Mar 31, 2014 4:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: From FWB to Relationship to sour?
Quote: Quote: Quote: It depends on what you can handle I guess... I couldn't handle that situation, and if I was really into her, I'd probably try to figure out an alternative with her (not suggesting you help her get her shit... Just talk about alternatives). I've been on this forum for a year -- and I've never really seen you post about your own exclusivity with a girl, so... For what what's worth: I sort of think losing your cool is warranted here if you care about her. Don't want her fucking another guy? - It's ok to say so at this point IMHO. You're past pick up and into a relationship. I get that maybe she cares about her shit.... Valid. We all have shit we care about... But she HAS done without this shit for months now, seemingly no worse for wear. One other thing: what large items which belong in storage are sentimental? Must be furniture, right? (Fair enough if it is)... If we're talking about smaller stuff she should have handled that already. The reason I mention this is I can't actually really think of anything above the size of, say a television, that I'd consider super sentimental and that I could live without for several months... Good luck, Heywood. High value antiques from her former shop. She gave me 4 Vargas numbered prints for my birthday. You are correct. Its been a while since I gave a shit. My posts are all true , fucking girls is easy, relationship is difficult. Update, she canceled on him. She is here. She canceled on him. Which means what? Same shit, different day? Don't forget to make good decisions for your own well being. If you want to continue to put up with this shit, by all means do it. But if you really want to solve the problem and remove a point of contention from the relationship, help her get her shit out. If between the two of you there isn't a budget to drive 200 miles to pick up some shit, this relationship has a tough road to hoe. Sorry if that is blunt or harsh, but I agree with the poster above who more or less said, where there's a will, there's a way. She's not moving mountains, she's just finding a new home for some shit. By pandering to it, you're displaying lower value. Not that you need to be a dick and give an ultimatum, but how long does this game go on before you decide you've won all you can? Yes, I could certainly give her the money. But the voice of experience says not to outwardly just do that. She tells me the only communication has been a few text messages and two hateful voice mails left on her phone. Could she be lying? Sure, but she does understand I will dump her ass if that is the case. I am confidant she does not want that to happen. The rules I have laid down are this; No contact until the day she retrieves her shit. I have given her til June 1st to secure storage, for the explicit purpose. For her Birthday, I purchased a pre-paid credit card for transportation expenses, I will retain that card until that day.

Author:	garkus [ Tue Apr 01, 2014 6:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: From FWB to Relationship to sour?
From what I've seen in this life, dumping "others" barely ends well. What is wrong if you would help her to move her stuff? Not necessarily need to pay for that, but help her to organize a van or something and pick up stuff together. Woman many times are timid to embark a big action and they need sometimes a push. Well, you gave her a push actually, by giving a sort of ultimatum. But it might show to her that you don't care that much. My 5 cents. I've been in a similar situation, but she was single for 5 months. She said like I need my stuff..blah blah. I offered her help but she refused my help claiming her ex was obsessive and she does not want to see him. In the end her ex brought her stuff on his own to her, after she clearly let him know many times he has no chance with her.

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