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| Relationship advice https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=176814 |
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| Author: | zhyu [ Sat Mar 15, 2014 10:10 am ] |
| Post subject: | Relationship advice |
Hi all . I am 23 years old and I would say I have a medium success with women . And I have a long story to tell ... just to introduce: my girlfriend broke up with me and despite not believe we have a chance to go back , I need adivices . I never wanted to date despite having had over the years several opportunities . Recently I really fell in love, something that had never happened to me . I invited her out without knowing she had a boyfriend...I managed to change the subject but add her later in the facebook anyway. After a while she broke up with her boyfriend and we chatted for about 2 months before starting to go out because I was traveling . We went out for about 8 times in a period of 1.5 months and everything seemed to be working . It was there that I think I made the biggest mistake but I want your opinion. She always made plans for the future and demonstrated that she wanted a relationship but never mentioning it . During this period we did not had sex but I was really enjoying it and ask her for a relationship anyway. Like I said everything seemed to be working , she praised me a lot, said she was so passionate . We started having sex (we had sex 5 times , she said that I did the best oral she already received but overall I think the sex was average , partly because I was nervous about the situation ( like I said I never felt for anyone what I was feeling for her, partly because she seemed to be too inexperienced . She cum 3 of those 5 times . But when it comes to it , it seemed that I always pleases her, she praised me , seemed very horny for me, etc, excepct in the last time we had sex, when she did not criticized or anything but I did not feel that she was satisfied. I do not think that the problem was sex , because I think it was a very short period to affect the relationship and like I said she seems satisfied almost everytime, but I preferred to explain the situation. Okay this is the end of the first part . Like I said , she gave several signs of interest, in general she began conversations more often and we were talking about 40 min-60min / day for chat . I said I do not like talking on the phone ...she called me a few times, whe talked but I never called her . She was making plans for the future all the time , said that would introduce myself to the whole family ( this dinner would happen 2 days after she brokes with me just to make clear how unexpected was for me), made plans to the end of this year . On the last weekend we spended together, she made a dinner at her house , picked me up at home ... she was alone but her brother could come at any time . Everything went well , and she continued making plans at the end of dinner called me to go to her room even risking getting caught . After we went to my house and have sex ( the only day I realy think that the sex was not good as I said) ... and this is how our last meeting ended . In the middle of the following week she called me and I said the next day that I had noticed that I liked to talk to her on the phone and we had the first fight... basically she spoke that she was upset because I did not called her and I had taken 2 months to realize that I liked to talk to her on the phone , etc. . It seemed like she was already predisposed to fight because and nothing that I said helped . That day we talked on the phone and she was already cold to me . The next day she broke up with me but said it had nothing to do with the fight but with her studies and bla bla bla . After about 1 week I called her and she agreed to talk. She repeated that it had nothing to do with the fight, that I did not made anything wrong, that it was not another man...after I said that I liked her a lot and was in love with her she said she had noticed she was not feeling the same thing for me and that we started dating too fast (2 months after we started talking and one month after we started to hang out) . Sorry for the long text but for those who had the patience to read, I would like advices and scoring a few things .... It's been about 2 months since we broke up but we have a lesson in common and I see her for about 6 hours every Friday . After we broke up, I already KC about 40 women going to parties but did not had sex with any of them . I have no hopes of returning with her, because I think it was a big mistake talking with her so early and tell her that I was in love. 1 ) Just to reinforce key points .... She did not demonstrated lack of interest in me before broke up .... instead always praised me and as I wrote , about 3 days before the end made a romantic dinner for me . 2 ) 90 % of the time I was not needy ... the only exceptions were in my view that I should have been more dominant in bed and after the fight I apologized and basically said I liked her a lot , etc. . 3 ) I think my biggest mistake was to propose the relationship... I should go out with her, had sex before and let her talk about it but would like the opinion of you guys. Finally ... I think I was very inexperienced and it angered me because I really liked / like her very much and that emotional involvement is very rare for me ... then I hope you guys can help me to learn from this and help me prevent this from happening again. Thanks a lot |
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| Author: | odyn [ Sat Mar 15, 2014 12:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Relationship advice |
Not really sure were to start so I will start with the most glaring mistakes. Why were you trying to push a relationship and tell her you love her over phone, directly after your first fight? That reeks of desperation. If you aren't in a committed relationship then you should never be saying you love her especially during or directly after a fight. You say she was looking for a fight and you played right into her hand. Asking her about another dude is terrible as well and just because she says there isn't one doesn't mean she is being truthful. You also kept talking about her making plans for the future. Again I'm guessing you made it all very easy for her and you agreed with the plans and went along with her ideas. Almost all girls do this. When they do I usually just say something like we'll see or even give them a maybe you never know. As far as you pushing the whole relationship idea, thats her job, she should be the one asking what are we, were is this going etc. if she isn't then you shouldn't be worried about it because who cares your hanging out with a girl whose company you like and your banging her...what does it matter if there isn't a label. Don't contact via facebook, text, phone etc. If she wants to message you great, but I wouldn't hold my breath. |
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| Author: | zhyu [ Sat Mar 15, 2014 7:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Relationship advice |
I understood...I dont think It will make any difference but when we fought we were in a relationship already. When I ask her to be me my gf she accept right a way so at the time I did not realize the mistake...now I do, Its always best to wait the woman to bring this topic right?. About the fight... she said that I never call her bla bla ( it was true) so I tried to tell her that It was not because I did not like her that I was not calling, so I said that I like her a lot, etc. About the plans...she told me that she wanted to make a dinner to introduce me to her family and that she would invite me to her prom so we could dance together and this kind of romantic things... what I was supose to do? I agreed. I told that I was in love with her when I tried to get back with her ( mistake), asked if her ex boyfriend had something to do with the end (another mistake right?). But at that stage I dont think anything that I could say would make any difference, she was very determined... in fact I want to understand why I made the relationship come to this point... I seems that when we fought she probably was already thinking about break up because It was strange the way she didnt tried to understand my motives and didnt wanted to talk about it... so I already pointed the mistakes I made after the fight but before the fight the only mistake I saw was the fact I asked her to be my gf... I was not needy with her, didnt tried to see/call/chat a lot with her, was not jealous ( she was in fact and I "punish" her by the time)... I thought that the fact she was making plans for the future meant that she really liked me and really cant understand how she could make these kind of plans 3 days before the break up... she is not the kind of girl ( In my opinion) that would do this just to mess around or the liar type and she always seemed to have fun when she was with me ( verbal and non verbal)....I dont know I really confuse right now. I did not talk with her after the day I tried to get back with her and I don't pretend to. The problem is that I need to take this class with her and this is killing me. Like I said I already KC a lot of women after the break up but nothing seems to help. I cant stop thinking about her, about what I could make different, etc and this is driving me crazy... |
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