PUA Forum :: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?

there is this guy, john, who is good looking according to media's views and has a girlfriend who is always fighting with him. My GF always flirts with him and talks to him about their relationship problems. Before he even kissed her on the cheek, picked her up and she didn't think it was a big deal. I told her it was unacceptable and she stopped. But recently, she seemed to be a little bit more distant towards me, and seems to be having more fun with other guy 'friends'. Also, she gave john a huge hug that I felt was more than jus a petty hug.
Im not going to talk about it with her... Cuz I feel it causes more problems. Why would i wanna be with a girl who does those things anyways right? I would expect her to not do those kinds of things in the first place. Please give me some advice... I feel sick to my stomach cause I'm pretty sure I love this girl.

Author:	Seej95 [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 2:00 am ]
Post subject:	Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
there is this guy, john, who is good looking according to media's views and has a girlfriend who is always fighting with him. My GF always flirts with him and talks to him about their relationship problems. Before he even kissed her on the cheek, picked her up and she didn't think it was a big deal. I told her it was unacceptable and she stopped. But recently, she seemed to be a little bit more distant towards me, and seems to be having more fun with other guy 'friends'. Also, she gave john a huge hug that I felt was more than jus a petty hug. Im not going to talk about it with her... Cuz I feel it causes more problems. Why would i wanna be with a girl who does those things anyways right? I would expect her to not do those kinds of things in the first place. Please give me some advice... I feel sick to my stomach cause I'm pretty sure I love this girl.

Author:	Damien Cash [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 2:08 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not trying to be a dick, but she's probably cheating on you or planning to. Confront it head on. Don't get into a screaming match, but ask her how she feels the relationship is going. Ask her if she is losing interest and if it is going down that path, ask if she might be seeing other people. If you don't sound whiny and don't fly off the handles, she might feel guilty and fess up to it. If she overreacts, she's probably cheating. That's the best you can do really. The rest is up to trusting her.

Author:	Seej95 [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 2:29 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
But john has a girlfriend and if I ask her even in a calm manner, she ll get annoyed that I don't trust her...

Author:	Seej95 [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 2:31 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
But john has a girlfriend and if I ask her even in a calm manner, she ll get annoyed that I don't trust her... She even said she wanted to marry me, and she's definitely not cheating on me. I just feel like it is a huge future possibility. I'm tired of constantly asking about these things, it makes me feel embarrassed and she ends up telling her friend, john's GF

Author:	Damien Cash [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 2:36 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
That all just doesn't sound healthy to me. I'd talk to her, or dump her. I can't hold your hand, man. There is nothing magic I can say that will make it easier. You know what you need to do, deep down. No one on this board can give you permission. You have to take an honest look at your relationship.

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Author:	Seej95 [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 2:50 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
Thanks.. I'm thinking wait to the end of this week, see if the situation got worse or stayed the same, and if it does I will bring it up calmly and clearly

Author:	Damien Cash [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 2:58 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
Quote: Thanks.. I'm thinking wait to the end of this week, see if the situation got worse or stayed the same, and if it does I will bring it up calmly and clearly Awesome dude, that sounds like a good plan

Author:	n2thevoid [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 3:04 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
Quote: there is this guy, john, who is good looking according to media's views and has a girlfriend who is always fighting with him. My GF always flirts with him and talks to him about their relationship problems. Before he even kissed her on the cheek, picked her up and she didn't think it was a big deal. I told her it was unacceptable and she stopped. But recently, she seemed to be a little bit more distant towards me, and seems to be having more fun with other guy 'friends'. Also, she gave john a huge hug that I felt was more than jus a petty hug. Im not going to talk about it with her... Cuz I feel it causes more problems. Why would i wanna be with a girl who does those things anyways right? I would expect her to not do those kinds of things in the first place. Please give me some advice... I feel sick to my stomach cause I'm pretty sure I love this girl. Translation: "I'm not going to bring up my needs because they're an imposition" Mark my words if you don't both of you will pay for it later on. It will come out in some form or another, likely through a blow-up on your part.

Author:	do8 [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 8:11 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
Generally speaking, her going cold or colder on you can be a result of different reasons, most of them should not be a big deal and should not last for long. When this is going together with some orbiters, other guys, then it is a red flag imho. I would not call her on that because she has not done anything wrong, or you don't know/can't prove it yet. But I would keep a damn eye on her. Maybe try spending more time with your GF and John, see how it goes from there. Are they just friends or colleagues? How often do they see each other? Remember to hold your frame, keep an eye, but do not overthink.

Author:	fugs [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 4:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
Talking to her? Fuck that. You'll come off as needy. What I would do if I were you is flirt with other chicks, pay less attention to her.

Author:	Seej95 [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
Thank you do8, They are just friends but they seem to have a different level of attraction. And they pretty much only see each other at school and maybe they talk on facebook, but im not the type to invade on someone's privacy. Also, my stress level has risen a tad bit that john broke up with his GF yesterday.

Author:	Seej95 [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:21 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
And thank you fugs, I have slightly taken that approach and contacted my friend who still says she loves me... just as a back up plan, if she does end up cheating... but I truly want to be faithful to my GF and do not feel good about myself flirting with other girls inspite of my GF when she actually hasnt done any cheating.

Author:	Seej95 [ Wed Feb 26, 2014 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
I will stay calm, peaceful and remain faithful but if she does cheat, it will just mean that she lost a great man in her life...

Author:	cjc651 [ Thu Feb 27, 2014 2:31 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
Quote: Talking to her? Fuck that. You'll come off as needy. What I would do if I were you is flirt with other chicks, pay less attention to her. This dude hit the nail on the head^ You told her once to stop flirting with him and now she's become colder/more distant from you and she's hanging out with guy "friends". Positive reinforcement. When she does something nice for you or something that makes you feel good, do something nice in return. When she does something that makes you feel shitty/jealous, play it cool and freeze her out/get some space. Go out with some guy friends and hit on women and have a good time for a weekend. Don't let a girl control your emotions.

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Author:	Rough Operator [ Fri Feb 28, 2014 3:33 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Am I just being jealous or am I seeing a red flag?
You're right to be uneasy. Girls are so good at throwing up smoke screens. My ex got so pissed off with me for not being cool with her staying at some guys flat, he was just a friend and had been for years, they hung out one on one quite a bit. They're now together and I am fairly certain she cheated on me with this guy.