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Meeting her sister
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=172915		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  CharlosCarlies [ Fri Dec 13, 2013 3:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Meeting her sister
They're twins, and naturally very close. I didn't really want to have to meet her this early, but I couldn't really find an out and on the positive side if I make a good impression, I'm sure it will only help my case. She's dated some pretty shitty guys in the past, so even though I'm kinda nervous at least it sounds like the bar is set pretty low!

Any tips? Things to talk about/avoid? We're going to brunch...I'm assuming I should just pay? (my girl is very good about splitting things up normally FWIW)

Thanks guys!
Author:  fugs [ Fri Dec 13, 2013 4:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
If you want advices, you should provide more details and some context.
Author:  CharlosCarlies [ Fri Dec 13, 2013 10:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
I was mostly looking for general advice, but I'm sure some context could help.

Been seeing each other about 2 months now. As mentioned earlier, she apparently has had a bad string of boyfriends and her sister is fairly protective now considering (one sounded lazy, the other abusive). My girl moved down here about a year ago for a large promotion and is obviously very driven, independent, and hadn't had much time for dating until we met. From what I can tell, her and her sister are very close and the sister is definitely the "approver" of the family.

We were planning on just doing brunch because I have a lot of work to do in the afternoon. What would yall's general approach to the sister be? Even though the "good guy" is generally unattractive to women, would it be a good frame for the sister since she's had some shitty boyfriends and is probably looking for a guy w/ long term potential? To me it's always seemed like family wants something different out of a guy than the girl does. (nice guy traits, for example)
Author:  odyn [ Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
Yes of course you want to be the good guy in front of her sister, espcially if she is the approver. Show up on time, be yourself and If you are having sex with her you should probably pay. Don't worry about setting frame or anything like that dumb shit just make sure your not nervous and are up beat and positive. You already have an out with work to do, so your only going to have a short time period, which I would consider to be a good thing. Just remind your girl you have shit to do before the lunch so she knows its not an all day thing.
Author:  CharlosCarlies [ Fri Dec 13, 2013 11:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
Thanks Odyn. Haven't dated a girl long enough to meet family in a while, so just wanted to make sure I was thinking along the right lines.
Author:  fugs [ Mon Dec 16, 2013 1:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
Just go there and be yourself. Be friendly but do not seek approval of any kind. Aloofness should work best.
Maybe her sister is "the approver" but she doesn't necessarily has to approve of you. You're not fucking her. Do not take more shit from her sister than from any of other of your acquaintances. She probably will feed you a few shit tests to see what you are made of. Bottom line is aloofness, don't let her phase you.
As a side note, your GF dated shitty guys in her past, if you want her to stick around, you'll have to do shitty stuff yourself, it's obvious that that's what turns her on.
Author:  CharlosCarlies [ Mon Dec 16, 2013 10:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
So we met up and everything seemed to go really well IMO. The conversation was never stale or boring, and I made her sister laugh quite a bit. She was also very impressed/interested in what I do for a living, so that definitely took A LOT of pressure off me. Didn't notice any serious shit tests really, so not sure what to make of that. I did start to notice towards the end that we were leaving my girl out a little bit, but maybe that isn't such a terrible thing? Even though she's married, the sister came off as quite interested so a teeny bit of jealousy prob never hurts no matter how unlikely anything is to happen.
Quote:
As a side note, your GF dated shitty guys in her past, if you want her to stick around, you'll have to do shitty stuff yourself, it's obvious that that's what turns her on.
This actually crossed my mind shortly after she revealed this to me. With that said, the first guy didn't sound shitty in the abusive or dominant sense, but more as just a bum w/ no ambition to do anything with his life. He also didn't reveal that he had a kid until 2-3 years into the relationship.

I am curious about the general concept though. Do you mind elaborating a bit? My thoughts were always that you could be not "shitty" as long as you kept a dominant frame in the relationship whether that be via sex, maintaining your sense of self, not putting up with bad behavior, etc. Do you think that's not enough w/ certain girls? If so, what kind of shitty things are you talking about? (not that I want to intentionally do them...just curious)
Author:  odyn [ Mon Dec 16, 2013 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
Listen I have done this many times, where I thought way to much on stuff and ultimately tried to be something I'm not. You are in a relationship with this girl, if you want it to last (obviously you do by your posts) you will be yourself and treat her well when she deserves to be treated that way. If bad behavior happens on her end just be ready to walk away or cut her off for a while. Don't get caught up in all these games and not be yourself. Just my experience.
Author:  oceanx [ Tue Dec 17, 2013 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
Quote:
Listen I have done this many times, where I thought way to much on stuff and ultimately tried to be something I'm not. You are in a relationship with this girl, if you want it to last (obviously you do by your posts) you will be yourself and treat her well when she deserves to be treated that way. If bad behavior happens on her end just be ready to walk away or cut her off for a while. Don't get caught up in all these games and not be yourself. Just my experience.
Exactly. Same thing goes for the "sister shit test" stuff. Not everything is about game. Turns out the sister and you had a normal conversation that went well. Who knew.
Author:  CopernicanShift [ Tue Dec 17, 2013 4:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
be nice? ask questions? take an interest in her interests and get her to talk about them, people love talking about themselves. It makes them feel important.
Author:  CharlosCarlies [ Sat Dec 28, 2013 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
Quote:
As a side note, your GF dated shitty guys in her past, if you want her to stick around, you'll have to do shitty stuff yourself, it's obvious that that's what turns her on.
Not sure if this was the reason, but just thought I'd bump this because she broke it off today...via text no less (wtf ?). There were some minor signs of her losing attraction, but for the most part it was totally out of left field (I'm usually very good at sensing fading attraction). She used the whole "I'm not in a position to have a relationship right now". She does work a TON, but still that's bullshit and we all know it.

I sometimes am bad about setting my own boundaries and speaking my mind when I disagree w/ a woman, but honestly this time we just actually got along and agreed on a lot of stuff. One night when were out drinking, she did make some remark about "us always agreeing...wonder what it will be like when that stops", so I'm wondering if there is some truth to your post. She tries so hard to appear "put together" for everyone and I'm thinking deep down she craves the emotional ups and downs that come w/ dominant, even ass-holish men.

I'm bummed but oh well...live and learn. There were some things I wasn't totally pleased with anyways so time to find a better one!
Author:  CharlosCarlies [ Sat Dec 28, 2013 6:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
FWIW, she was the one wanting me to meet her sister, her friends, etc and then got weird about having a relationship. Did I unknowingly fall into her relationship frame and cause a loss of attraction? Maybe I should have turned down some of these invitations despite her "really wanting me to"?
Author:  neo87 [ Sat Dec 28, 2013 8:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Meeting her sister
She likes shitty guys. Let her find one. You're not her type and that's a good thing.
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