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Am I being too sensitive and need to man up?
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Author:  PokerFFace [ Wed Nov 27, 2013 9:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Am I being too sensitive and need to man up?

Okay so I used to have trust issues with my GF and her male friends and am in the process of conquering my insecurities. But I feel like new problems keep arising. Every time by GF is sad I'm always there to cheer her up, And she told me that when I came into her life she stopped being depressed. But when I'm anxious and depressed she seems to do nothing to cheer me up. In fact it seems like she's avoiding me. Shes still laughing n having a good time with others and I find that quite selfish. I also feel like when we re fighting, I always have to make the first move to apologize. What should I do? I'm in highschool and am goin to college next year, and she's bout two years younger.

Author:  dominique.g [ Wed Nov 27, 2013 9:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive and need to man up?

the only reason you have to apologize first is because that what she is used to.
over time you have probably taught her that it is ok the have arguments because you are going to apologize anyway. (i learned that the hard way) the best thing to do if you know that you are right is to put your foot down and stick to your guns. eventually she will apologize (they usually always do, unless she doesn't really care about you, and in that case at least you will know)

about the trust issues
just don't worry about it you have no control over it whatsoever and it will just create problems for you
worrying doesn't take away tomorrows problems just today's peace

Author:  Rough Operator [ Fri Nov 29, 2013 12:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive and need to man up?

Quote:
Okay so I used to have trust issues with my GF and her male friends and am in the process of conquering my insecurities. But I feel like new problems keep arising. Every time by GF is sad I'm always there to cheer her up, And she told me that when I came into her life she stopped being depressed. But when I'm anxious and depressed she seems to do nothing to cheer me up. In fact it seems like she's avoiding me. Shes still laughing n having a good time with others and I find that quite selfish. I also feel like when we re fighting, I always have to make the first move to apologize. What should I do? I'm in highschool and am goin to college next year, and she's bout two years younger.
You're being needy. I think being a strong man and a rock for your girlfriend is a positive thing, but in my experience if that rock starts to crumble it isn't very appealing to them.

You need to solve your issues with depression and anxiety yourself or with a therapist, because relying on your girlfriend will bomb the relationship in a matter of weeks/months.

Basically you are being very needy, we've all been there, I confess that I used to be a life sucking vacuum of neediness and I know how this story ends.

Author:  n2thevoid [ Fri Nov 29, 2013 4:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive and need to man up?

Quote:
Okay so I used to have trust issues with my GF and her male friends and am in the process of conquering my insecurities. But I feel like new problems keep arising. Every time by GF is sad I'm always there to cheer her up, And she told me that when I came into her life she stopped being depressed. But when I'm anxious and depressed she seems to do nothing to cheer me up. In fact it seems like she's avoiding me. Shes still laughing n having a good time with others and I find that quite selfish. I also feel like when we re fighting, I always have to make the first move to apologize. What should I do? I'm in highschool and am goin to college next year, and she's bout two years younger.
It's difficult without getting her side to determine whether this is your issue, or something you're reacting to in the relationship. Is it possible that support to her might look very different to what support looks like for you? I'd encourage you to open up a dialogue with her about this, be the curious observer trying to understand her outlook, and also convey to her what you need from her in those times.

Author:  PokerFFace [ Fri Nov 29, 2013 5:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive and need to man up?

Thanks guys, I've started to occupy myself with things and started to work harder to reach my goals. I also talked to her about my thoughts n feelings, and things are better. I am alpha at times and beta at times, I guess it just takes practice. I am still learning.

Author:  Wolf59 [ Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive and need to man up?

Confidence is a virtue in life needed by everybody not just to pick up girls but also to sustain the relationship. Someone must show dominance and maintain it to have control of the the relationship. Being that this is your problem and you look at your self in the mirror every morning, I believe you need to be that person. The problem is you can't just come out of no where and start having complete control, it's something that needs to be used early in a relationship to see if the girl like's that type of person anyways. Also if your girl see's you as a complete depressed mess all the time then she may think your full of shit. Best way to fix this situation is to start from scratch, fix your depression, and increase your confidence. I recommend becoming an asshole, but not a douche bag. Asshole mentality consist of total confidence, control, and a good time. Read the book, "I hope they serve beer in hell" by Tucker Max. If you never read before then you will after you start reading this. You can still be a good person but don't let some girl push you around or demand from you. You need her to be there for you, not you there for her.

Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Dec 03, 2013 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive and need to man up?

You're in high school, you're still young. Your girlfriend is 2 years younger, so she is really young (probably too young to be in a committed relationship).

Pickup is for men. Enjoy your youth. Just be honest and enjoy yourself. You can learn pickup when you go to college. You don't need it right now.

Author:  neo87 [ Wed Dec 04, 2013 12:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Am I being too sensitive and need to man up?

Quote:
You're in high school, you're still young. Your girlfriend is 2 years younger, so she is really young (probably too young to be in a committed relationship).

Pickup is for men. Enjoy your youth. Just be honest and enjoy yourself. You can learn pickup when you go to college. You don't need it right now.

Damn good advice here.

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