PUA Forum :: Breakup after 2.5 years.

So in a way i understand, she wants her experimental stage, but do you guys think i should have known this stage was coming? Was this inevitable? Is it ever a good idea to get into a ltr with an inexperienced girl?

I guess you are right, i think i have come to the realization that in your 20's its very difficult to have a lasting relationship. Toughest thing is I still care, and it may be easy to find a "rebound" but i'm really not interested, and since my campus is so small i have to bump into them occasionally, stings like a bitch, but oh well, just have to man up and let time play its part.

Quote:

Of course you care. And it won't be necessarily easy but the fact that she's already seeing someone is really all you need to know.

Keep in mind , meeting new people is always exciting and fun. Don't dwell in the past when there's so so much to do in the future.

Hey guys did i play this right?

Out at a bar, i see my ex and her new guy. Awkward. I eventually walk passed them, and i said hey to my ex. She looked at me like i was crazy, i said just greeting, then turned to him and said whats up my name is.... they then both just blank starred at me, and he said sorry that was awkward. I said haha it was, her and I go way back. He then puts his hand up like he wants to high 5 me, but he looked like he wanted to embarrass me so i sort have just said "ok enjoy your night."

Now it may have looked like i just walked away because i was acting like a sulky bitch. So i sent her this message this morning.

"The polite thing to do would have been to introduce me, or am i supposed to hate your new bf? I don't, he seems very nice. Was I hostile in anyway? I said a simple hello, yet you looked at me like im fucking mad. I am crazy because i am okay with talking to you and hisname? Why because i should be sulking? and hiding away? We arent 5 year olds, and im not going to sulk, get mad or fight, you have my blessing. With that being said me being polite is a courtesy, its not a must. Give your sister and your mum my best, take care."

what do you guys think? Perhaps i should have just carried on with nc. Oh well, i just wanted to know what your guys opinions are for future reference.

Author:	Newguy231 [ Wed Oct 30, 2013 7:41 am ]
Post subject:	Breakup after 2.5 years.
I will try make this short.I have been following pua and some basic relationship fundamentals for some time and I would say i have a pretty good idea of how to conduct myself in a relationship and afterwards, however i would like your guys opinion on something. 4 months ago sex basically stops out of nowhere with my gf, clear sign of trouble. Tried to spice things up, didn't work. She tells me its not working, i tell her she should follow her heart and I go nc, i wasn't cold about it though, i did tell her this isn't what i want. 1 week later she calls me, and tells me she made a terrible mistake. we get back together. Go on holiday together, things good again. However when we get back to varsity, sex declines again, and she ends up breaking up with me again. I go NC, this time it takes 3 weeks for her to contact me, she asks to go for coffee, she tells me she is so confused but she still loves me. I tell her lets both take some more time. So about 2 weeks later she hooks up with someone else at one of the clubs close by campus, some of my friends had seen(told me about it). So i sent her a text asking her whatsup, we need to get on the same page. She ignores it. Her and I share a mutual friend, so i ask her what my ex's current mindset is. She tells me my ex is now seeing the other guy, and that she feels like she wasn't ready to be committed and settle down. (I was her first kiss, broke her virginity). So in a way i understand, she wants her experimental stage, but do you guys think i should have known this stage was coming? Being her first everything? Was this inevitable? Is it ever a good idea to get into a ltr with an inexperienced girl? Annoying thing is took me ages to win this girl, she was one of those "innocent" girls that made me work for even a kiss at first. Just feels like i wasted so much time getting her to open up. Anyways would love to hear some opinions! Thanks!

Author:	R.C [ Wed Oct 30, 2013 8:41 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
Quote: So in a way i understand, she wants her experimental stage, but do you guys think i should have known this stage was coming? Was this inevitable? Is it ever a good idea to get into a ltr with an inexperienced girl? Yes , yes and no. This happens every single time when one of the two is new to this. I've been on both ends. In my first sexual relationship when 15yo inexperienced me did it to 17yo experienced her , and then 4 years later when 18yo inexperienced her did it to 19yo experienced me. My advice ? Don't wait around for her. Move on , you're done here.

Author:	Newguy231 [ Wed Oct 30, 2013 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
I guess you are right, i think i have come to the realization that in your 20's its very difficult to have a lasting relationship. Toughest thing is I still care, and it may be easy to find a "rebound" but i'm really not interested, and since my campus is so small i have to bump into them occasionally, stings like a bitch, but oh well, just have to man up and let time play its part.

Author:	vhou812 [ Wed Oct 30, 2013 4:40 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
You're exactly right. This is how to take it like a man. You're doing the right things. Get back to doing all the other things in your life that you like. Most of the time, first loves don't work out, because first doesn't mean best. If anything, it's worst, because part of finding out what you want is experiencing different things. Sort of like food, you might love pizza, but that doesn't mean it's your favorite food forever. Once you start tasting other things, you might find that you still like pizza, but you'd rather have steak. Acknowledge what you had was probably good for awhile. Acknowledge too that better can be found. What are the odds that you dated the best woman for you right off the bat?

Author:	Newguy231 [ Wed Oct 30, 2013 5:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
Thanks for the replies! Being a man is hard! But better to hold your head up high than to wait around for second place, when you are someone else's first place. "In the end every selfish decision we take dies with us, but everything we do for others and the world, is immortal!"

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Author:	R.C [ Wed Oct 30, 2013 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
Quote: I guess you are right, i think i have come to the realization that in your 20's its very difficult to have a lasting relationship. Toughest thing is I still care, and it may be easy to find a "rebound" but i'm really not interested, and since my campus is so small i have to bump into them occasionally, stings like a bitch, but oh well, just have to man up and let time play its part. Of course you care. And it won't be necessarily easy but the fact that she's already seeing someone is really all you need to know. Keep in mind , meeting new people is always exciting and fun. Don't dwell in the past when there's so so much to do in the future.

Author:	Themagicalone [ Thu Oct 31, 2013 2:30 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
Quote: Quote: I guess you are right, i think i have come to the realization that in your 20's its very difficult to have a lasting relationship. Toughest thing is I still care, and it may be easy to find a "rebound" but i'm really not interested, and since my campus is so small i have to bump into them occasionally, stings like a bitch, but oh well, just have to man up and let time play its part. Of course you care. And it won't be necessarily easy but the fact that she's already seeing someone is really all you need to know. Keep in mind , meeting new people is always exciting and fun. Don't dwell in the past when there's so so much to do in the future. THIS go at girls hard OP

Author:	Newguy231 [ Thu Oct 31, 2013 7:49 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
will do!I just find it tough letting a girl know that "this isn't going anywhere and i don't want to date", i seem to attract girls that want relationships, whereas i believe at 21 i am way too young to be in a relationship, I just want to travel and experience the world. I find it so strange how different paths can make such a big impact on your life. A year ago my girlfriend wanted us to move into a flat together, i declined as i thought it would kill attraction, and frankly i was still in a "party" frame of mind. However at the beginning of this year we were really considering it! Just imagine if i had taken that path and her and I had stayed together. I probably would not have done as well academically as i am now, i probably would not be able to travel with her (I want to go to South Korea, perhaps teach english for awhile, and i want to experience the women there:D). I have Scottish routes, so i would also like to travel there soon after that. The crazy thing is in either path, i probably would be happy, but in each different path i would live completely different lives. With her, i probably would have ended up living like a committed family man. Whereas now, its the complete opposite, i don't want any commitment whatsoever. Emotion is the strangest thing, and actually DANGEROUS, it brainwashes us. Sorry for the ramble. Tl;dr If you are younger than 30, Travel!Do everything you can now while you still can! Do you really want to be wondering for the rest of your life what else is out there? Rather be able to say I KNOW whats out there! And then make a choice objectively, i nearly changed my whole life because of emotion for someone who ended up leaving me. Emotion is a MAN's worst enemy, don't let the whole new age man with feelings thing confuse you! Emotions fuck with your head, tame your emotions, and you control your destiny.

Author:	Newguy231 [ Fri Nov 15, 2013 5:33 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
Hey guys did i play this right? Out at a bar, i see my ex and her new guy. Awkward. I eventually walk passed them, and i said hey to my ex. She looked at me like i was crazy, i said just greeting, then turned to him and said whats up my name is.... they then both just blank starred at me, and he said sorry that was awkward. I said haha it was, her and I go way back. He then puts his hand up like he wants to high 5 me, but he looked like he wanted to embarrass me so i sort have just said "ok enjoy your night." Now it may have looked like i just walked away because i was acting like a sulky bitch. So i sent her this message this morning. "The polite thing to do would have been to introduce me, or am i supposed to hate your new bf? I don't, he seems very nice. Was I hostile in anyway? I said a simple hello, yet you looked at me like im fucking mad. I am crazy because i am okay with talking to you and hisname? Why because i should be sulking? and hiding away? We arent 5 year olds, and im not going to sulk, get mad or fight, you have my blessing. With that being said me being polite is a courtesy, its not a must. Give your sister and your mum my best, take care." what do you guys think? Perhaps i should have just carried on with nc. Oh well, i just wanted to know what your guys opinions are for future reference.

Author:	Themagicalone [ Sun Nov 17, 2013 4:06 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
Quote: Hey guys did i play this right? Out at a bar, i see my ex and her new guy. Awkward. I eventually walk passed them, and i said hey to my ex. She looked at me like i was crazy, i said just greeting, then turned to him and said whats up my name is.... they then both just blank starred at me, and he said sorry that was awkward. I said haha it was, her and I go way back. He then puts his hand up like he wants to high 5 me, but he looked like he wanted to embarrass me so i sort have just said "ok enjoy your night." Now it may have looked like i just walked away because i was acting like a sulky bitch. So i sent her this message this morning. "The polite thing to do would have been to introduce me, or am i supposed to hate your new bf? I don't, he seems very nice. Was I hostile in anyway? I said a simple hello, yet you looked at me like im fucking mad. I am crazy because i am okay with talking to you and hisname? Why because i should be sulking? and hiding away? We arent 5 year olds, and im not going to sulk, get mad or fight, you have my blessing. With that being said me being polite is a courtesy, its not a must. Give your sister and your mum my best, take care." what do you guys think? Perhaps i should have just carried on with nc. Oh well, i just wanted to know what your guys opinions are for future reference. You did good until you texted her there was no need for that you addressed her and showed her she wasn't the center of the world but then you took it too far

Author:	Newguy231 [ Wed Nov 27, 2013 6:39 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
Update 2 days ago i get a text from her. "Hey, just wanted to wish you good luck for your exam tomorrow and i hope you have a great vacation!.her_name I haven't replied. Sounds like she just wants to see if i'm still around waiting for her? Giving me breadcrumbs so to speak. Right thing to do, just ignore it? Additional info: Won't see her for about 2 months we stay in different areas. She usually stayed with me during the vacs,she had some family troubles. Holidays were good.

Author:	R.C [ Wed Nov 27, 2013 4:23 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
Typical post relationship bullshit. Ignore it. Or reply in an ignoring fashion. "Thanks."

Author:	vhou812 [ Wed Nov 27, 2013 7:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Breakup after 2.5 years.
I'd say she dwelled on your text and realized that you simply are acknowledging that all you are or can be at this point is friends, or just cordial to each other in public. What is more awkward, being nice, or acting like you can't possibly say a word to anyone you ever fucked before in your life if you see them out in public. When someone says "this is awkward" the answer is simple. My response is something like, "well, it doesn't have to be." If you can't say shit or have to avoid your exes, there's a lot of fucking places I could never go. I'd respond to her text by saying thanks, and leave it at that. No need to contact her more, no need to do shit. Just treat it like she was being nice and doesn't want to have to act like an idiot next time she sees you in public like that. In the meantime, I'd try to find a new woman to pound the bottom out of.

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