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My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
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Author:  CaptainAwesome25 [ Mon Oct 21, 2013 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:  My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Hi there! Any help would be nice. So, it all started when I didn't reply to her text last Friday, and she told me she has a crush on this other dude, and when I told her "I don't really mind. You're mine anyways, and I know that it'll stay that way, isn't that right?", she got pissed and said " I only wanted your attention *insert numerous other words here*, but you didn't give it to me, and I feel awful and disappointed"

So I reached out. I ended up portraying to her that I was chasing her. I f*cked up. I know I was supposed to address the problem and communicate with her about it, and if that didn't work , I'd soft next her.

I didn't though. So many things were running through my mind, and she's my first love (Oneitis, I know. Cut me some slack, she's my first love and we're really young.).

I know I'm supposed to cut contact and the like, but if there isn't attraction, how can a soft next really help? I believe that it would just push her away more.
I'm not up to hard next her because... Well, I really do like her, and out of all the girls I know, she's the only one that stands out, and I'm not settling for an HB7 if I can have this HB9.

So, back to my situation, I ended up acting very, very AFC. I let my emotions get the best of me, I ended up whining, and I told her to give me some time, and the me that she fell in love with will come back, and that I'm not in the right state of mind (I tried killing myself, but before I did, I realized that it's not worth it. Because, well, Alphas don't do that, do they? =D )

And she said "I hope the real Franco comes back reaaaal soon or else I might fall for someone else"

I guess she really does have a crush. Haha.



aNy help would be appreciated. =) Thanks!

*edit:
Also, I used a bit of Fractionation on this girl when we first met. I guess that stuff wears off too, eh?
I really need help, because I am meeting her sometime next week.
I guess I could pull off nailing her when I see her in person, but if I really wanna get somewhere really easy, I still need her attraction to rise before the meeting itself.

So, any text game? or is there really no hope?
Author:  AFCToTheMax [ Mon Oct 21, 2013 1:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Quote:
Hi there! Any help would be nice. So, it all started when I didn't reply to her text last Friday, and she told me she has a crush on this other dude, and when I told her "I don't really mind. You're mine anyways, and I know that it'll stay that way, isn't that right?", she got pissed and said " I only wanted your attention *insert numerous other words here*, but you didn't give it to me, and I feel awful and disappointed"

So I reached out. I ended up portraying to her that I was chasing her. I f*cked up. I know I was supposed to address the problem and communicate with her about it, and if that didn't work , I'd soft next her.

I didn't though. So many things were running through my mind, and she's my first love (Oneitis, I know. Cut me some slack, she's my first love and we're really young.).

I know I'm supposed to cut contact and the like, but if there isn't attraction, how can a soft next really help? I believe that it would just push her away more.
I'm not up to hard next her because... Well, I really do like her, and out of all the girls I know, she's the only one that stands out, and I'm not settling for an HB7 if I can have this HB9.

So, back to my situation, I ended up acting very, very AFC. I let my emotions get the best of me, I ended up whining, and I told her to give me some time, and the me that she fell in love with will come back, and that I'm not in the right state of mind (I tried killing myself, but before I did, I realized that it's not worth it. Because, well, Alphas don't do that, do they? =D )

And she said "I hope the real Franco comes back reaaaal soon or else I might fall for someone else"

I guess she really does have a crush. Haha.



aNy help would be appreciated. =) Thanks!

*edit:
Also, I used a bit of Fractionation on this girl when we first met. I guess that stuff wears off too, eh?
I really need help, because I am meeting her sometime next week.
I guess I could pull off nailing her when I see her in person, but if I really wanna get somewhere really easy, I still need her attraction to rise before the meeting itself.

So, any text game? or is there really no hope?
If she has a crush you are done. Accept this. And if that bothers you then don't tell her stupid shit that "I don't mind". You just told here that you don't care about her flat out. Next time don't do that.
Author:  CaptainAwesome25 [ Mon Oct 21, 2013 2:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Well, I guess I do have to accept that.

Thanks. I hope I don't mess up my future relationships like that.

Any tips on how to act next time a girlfriend sends a text/says something like that? =)
Author:  R.C [ Tue Oct 22, 2013 8:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Yea , never go full AFC again.

If you don't go afc , those text won't ever pop up.

Makes sense ?
Author:  CaptainAwesome25 [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 10:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Yeah. Thanks! =)

Well, for a first relationship, at least I got to learn stuff so I don't screw up my future relationships.
Author:  samreedy [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
there are 2 things you can do, go all out- not as in flowers and shit, youve done nothing wrong, I mean go back to the guy she fell in love with, get her attention again

or tell her to do one, give her an ultimatum- this might lead to different situations

she could come running back and say sorry

she could fuck off, bang some over guy then come crawling back

she could fuck off
Author:  CaptainAwesome25 [ Wed Oct 23, 2013 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Thanks for the info.

Should I still go NC? I mean, she does act cold to me though text anyways. Then I plan on being the same guy she fell in love with when we meet in person.

Or do you have any better alternatives? =)
Author:  CaptainAwesome25 [ Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Alright, I think I fucked up a second time. Haha... Stupid me.

Well, we had a convo this morning.
Her:I just wanted to remind you, I love you. And Thank You.
Me:I know... I love you too. Also, thank you for what?
Her:That's my secret. So, are you over me yet? :))
Me: Over you? We're still together, silly. =)
Her: Oh
Me: You probably thought we were over, didn't you? Well, are you over me yet?
Her:No... I just thought you got tired of my bad attitude
Me: Haha... Well, at first, I did, but I'll always accept every side of you. Just don't go too far, okay? I'm gonna go back to sleep, I love you, Kristin.
Her: No... no no no. NOPE. No one can tolerate my behavior. You should think first before you say that.
*an hour later*
Me:I can't sleep! Haha. Well, If you keep on falling back on your bad behavior, then I will get sick of it. Enjoy your day, my love. (I tried to stop the conversation early because her class was already starting. I was sick and I stayed home.)
Her: Derp.


So, I think I might have fucked up a bit by acknowledging her bad behavior AND LETTING HER GET AWAY WITH IT! I feel AFC again... Haha.

So, I plan on NC-ing her and stuff...
Do you guys have better alternatives? Any comments on what I have done and some suggestions as to what I should do? =)

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks. =)
Author:  cmd [ Thu Oct 24, 2013 11:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
You have to understand she's hard-out testing you. Trust me she just wanted to see how you react if she tells you she's got a crush on someone else. It looks like you're quite calm and unaffected by the things she says to you. This is good a good mindset in general, but the reason she got pissed with you is because you're playing it a bit too cool. If you're trying to be as "alpha" as possible with every move, that can backfire. I had a girlfriend split up with me when I was 17 (15 years ago;) because of the same reason. She told her friends that I don't care about her anyway and that I wouldn't even mind if she hooked up with someone else...

Relationships are different, you have to be affectionate from time to time. Showing a girl you care and doing nice things for her is not necessarily AFC. In fact, an Alpha male does these things too. Important difference is tho, to do it on your OWN terms and not when she asks for it.

So you did well. Try not so much to "game" her, just reward good behaviour (like her reaching out and telling you she loves you), punish bad behaviour with sof next/NC.
By the way, you did acknowledge her bad behavior but told her what happens if she keeps it...


Summary: be a little more affectionate, but on your own terms. Keep your coolness.
Author:  CaptainAwesome25 [ Thu Oct 24, 2013 11:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Yeah. Thanks! =)

I think that one of my main mistakes was beeing TOO sweet with her.

I would always send her self-made poems about how much I loved her and stuff. I would always be sweet, and we would always play around with the idea of marrying each other and stuff... And... Well, we did pretty much whatever other teens do when they're madly in love. Well, I'm not sure if teens our age fuck, and I guess that's just a bonus for us. =)

I guess that she got used to it, and that she expected it from me. Then when it stopped, she tested me. I played it cool at first with the crush thing, and when she said she was disappointed, and I went all AFC on the phone going all "Remember when we were at my place and we were so happy, and we promised each other that we would sit down and talk about all of our problems? I'd like to live up to that."

I guess it would've been okay if I left it at that, but I didn't. I went on and on and on. Hahaha.

Well, all of your help has given me a lot of new insights. I thought playing it cool would help, but turns out that I played it too cool, right?

Any advice on how to handle this shit test?
Author:  cmd [ Thu Oct 24, 2013 10:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Like I said, you did well. Always handle those tests in a confident way, that's not the time to give her what she wants (affection in this case). So she wanted it, then give it to her a couple of days later on your terms. Learn to understand why she's throwing tests - in the end you know all the details.

You gave her too much before (as you said), now you're giving her too less. Find a balance without being too predictable. You learn the most by trial and error...

Every girl is unique, some of them don't like too much affection and some love it almost all the time. I know long term couples who have sweet-childish convos with each other, and other guys call their girls buttface...


How I personally would play it from here? After a convo like your last one, I'd go NC again (how long depends on the situation, probably 2-4 days). Then call her up and take her out to this romantic-as dinner, maybe buy her a rose as well. When dinner is over, ask her if she wants to pay for it!

You see she'll get this rollercoaster of emotions, this works really well.. During the NC days she'll probably think again that you ARE in fact getting tired of her behavior, and it'll enforce the "If you keep on falling back on your bad behavior, then I will get sick of it" line from you earlier. Then all of a sudden you shower her with affection - until the bill arrives ;)
Author:  CaptainAwesome25 [ Fri Oct 25, 2013 10:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
I like that. =)
Well, I'm not sure I can make her pay for dinner. Our parents will kill us if we come home late.

Just so that last sentence won't confuse you, I'm 14 and she's 15. So, yeah... Haha. To be honest, I find it funny that at such a young age, I've lost so much of my innocence.
So, I can only do day game.
Do you think it would be okay if we hung out at my place? =)
And, if it would be okay, what's the best thing to do rather than just talking. I mean, if I could break her barrier and make it comfortable for both of us, I guess we could... Well, cuddle and stuff. Maybe we could do the deed too.

But it's become routine. =)

So, any suggestions? =)
Author:  ChitownMaverick [ Fri Oct 25, 2013 8:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
It sounds like you're dating a 12-year old.

"No one can handle me! I'm such a badass!"

You're in for a rough ride, and yes, you're coming across as a huge Beta.
Author:  cmd [ Mon Oct 28, 2013 4:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Quote:
This is what the typical thread of a middle school / high school kid learning PUA. And I'm amazed at how everyone is missing the entire point behind the GFs behavior. . . sigh, this place never changes.
You reckon Hobbit? Dare to make a change and shed some light? Would be good to hear some other opinions...
Author:  CaptainAwesome25 [ Mon Oct 28, 2013 9:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: My gf doesn't love me and has a crush on another
Wooo!

I got it under control now. Thanks a lot, guys! I stopped acting beta and I just finished fucking her brains out.

I would keep on typing about my situation, but I'm too tired. I'll just reply another time...

Thanks again! ;)
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