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| It was going rather well... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=169486 |
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| Author: | General Lamb [ Wed Oct 02, 2013 10:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | It was going rather well... |
Hello there, any advice or thoughts relating to my situation would be welcomed, I struggle to assess my own situations objectively. Backstory, I'm a phd student and a couple of months ago I started seeing another student. My game and frame control was excellent through the most part and she seemed to be quite into me. She would thank me unnecessarily for coming round or taking her out, she would also insist on buying me dinner from time to time. I would see her typically once or twice a week as she had quite a busy time working while also finishing her project. Generally things were good. Last week however I slipped up. I called by on my way home from my friends birthday outing, had some amazing secks and everything was normal. Afterwards she told me that the next week her project was due in, her degree over and she was going to move to the city where her sister lives which is about a 2 hour drive away. Sadly this completely ruined my frame, and the next week consisted of mistakes and beta backsliding. I went round again a couple of days later, this is where I made the first error. I told her that I was still interested in seeing her after she moved away. Her response was quite negative, her words were jumbled and she appeared conflicted, she said that she'd been in a LDR before and it sucked, and that she hadn't thought about the future yet but had assumed that she'd been moving away with a clean slate. I told her that I understood and that I'd had a great time with her, and that I wouldn't have changed anything. To which she responded "no no that's not what I mean", at this point I decided to shut down the conversation with a "well, we'll just see what happens". This is an appalling example of beta backsliding :/ at least I managed to appear composed, despite feeling terrible on the inside. I went round again the next day, that visit was better as I didn't bring that kind of thing up, however a couple of days after that I was stupid enough to try to persuade her to stay in this city, even offering my flat as a place of residence. Of course she declined, the whole thing was pathetic and desperate, I am truly ashamed of my conduct here. My frame had well and truly collapsed and it took all the effort in the world to feign any composure. I was due to see her the day before she left but she cancelled due to a "family dinner". So, what next? Is this a lost cause? My plan now is to distance myself, she's currently on holiday and due back at her new place of residence at the weekend so I cannot text her for the moment anyway. But I'm not sure how to handle things when she's back in the country. Typically I would give her the space to miss my company, and cool off. However what if she attributes the drop in communication to the distance? But there's little else I can do, I have to distance myself but I think an all out freeze out would be too extreme considering the new distance. Any advice on this? |
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| Author: | MrBreeze [ Fri Oct 04, 2013 6:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: It was going rather well... |
Quote: at this point I decided to shut down the conversation with a "well, we'll just see what happens".
I dont think this is that beta if you said it in a manner like it wasnt that big of a deal. Yes the offering her your place and what not wasnt good but not the end of the world especially since you recognize the problem. You're being a little hard on yourself. I would let her go but keep in contact with her. Truly go about your life. Have a social life. Find other women. Make sure none of this is a secret. When you speak with her make sure it in the same vibe that made her like you in the first place. Work on trying to get her to miss you and the environment. Tease her about how she'll be back. Let her know that she's desired but doesnt control your world. Maybe she comes, maybe she doesnt. |
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| Author: | CharlesFinley [ Fri Oct 04, 2013 11:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: It was going rather well... |
I agree with MrBreeze - I didn't think much of what you did was all that over the top, with a couple exceptions. It wasn't 'ideal' - but unscripted, unrehearsed stuff like this normally isn't. Saying "well, we'll just see what happens" could have been SO much worse. |
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