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Doing pickup in LTR
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=169382		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Mr. J [ Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Doing pickup in LTR
Hey guys,

I'm 23, college student, and I got into pickup over the summer after a breakup with my girlfriend of four years. She left because she was bored and I didn't blame her. I was a hermit and we weren't having any fun.

After breaking up in June, I became a pickup sponge for a couple months, and subsequently I was able to lure her back into my arms. I've raised my value significantly, become more social, improved my posture, started playing more music (I'm an acoustic guitarist, singer and song writer), and started dressing more stylish. Pickup helped me see all the things I was doing wrong in life, and when I got myself on track, she wanted me like crazy.

We are back together now and we live together. But I still want to do pickup on the side; it's too much fun! Not to mention I've met a couple wings now, started building a social circle and chasing some of the hot chicks at my school, etc. I can't just turn my back on the community, but it's really hard to balance this kind of lifestyle with the pressures of a LTR.

I wondered if any of you guys have been in similar situations? Any tips for making this work? Advice for how I can still get laid when I've got a girlfriend at home? How to manage her jealousy and make sure she understands that she's the only one who really matters, etc?

She is pretty understanding of the whole thing over all. She realizes that this is something that has helped my personal growth and something I enjoy, but sometimes we hit bumps where she starts getting jealous/upset or starts to have doubts. I hope I can make this work because I don't want to give up on becoming a better PUA, but I also don't want to lose the only woman I actually give two shits about.

-Bobby
Author:  neo87 [ Sun Sep 29, 2013 2:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Doing pickup in LTR
If you want to do pickup in a LTR you will lose her. Even if you lie and hide, your relationship will be strained when you have to explain why you can't pick up the phone sometime, where you were, why you go to the bar so much and why is a condom missing from the box. Trust me, it's alot of managing and the little things add up. If you're willing to lose her, keep doing pickup. If not, don't
Author:  Dragula [ Sun Sep 29, 2013 3:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Doing pickup in LTR
Please don't.

I went through the same thing, and I felt really guilty on my game when I got into an LTR.

Instead, I took control of my other things in life, like :

career, lifestyle, body, style, happiness

doing those things ^ took my 'game' to the next level.

Wish I didn't neglect those things I mentioned when I 1st got into pickup, but all I wanted to do was sarge which is really bad for game ironically because you neglect the other important things, balance is the key.

Game can change your life (it did with me), but also can fuck it up royally. (it did with me)

BALANCE!

Maybe now is the time to concentrate on traveling or something you really want to do with your life, your gf will commend your passion and ambition too as a bonus, instead of watching DVD's every night with her.
Author:  MrBreeze [ Sun Sep 29, 2013 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Doing pickup in LTR
I agree with Pebble that your major focus should be spent on inner game. This is the easiest path for growth with the responsibilities you have in your life. I do also find it disrespectful to be giving a large amount of attention to other women, whether youre fucking them or not.

That being said there is no reason that you cant have your cake and have another flavor too... Its all about honesty. I got in to PUA for different reasons. I was good with women but wanted the most bad ass woman on the planet. I wanted to pick one from abundance and have her not cheat on me. I found a great one and was brutally honest with her. She was in my social circle... "Yes, my rep is real Im dating seven women right now." She knows why I do what I do and Ive never promised monogamy. I have promised never to disrespect her, which take away most situations. I treat her beyond expectation in other areas of our relationship. She loves it.

However, I still carry the same vibe. When shes not with my I project the same vibe as when Im with her. I was looking for a woman that takes me for me... not some lie that I carried for the length of a relationship. Im happy. Shes happy. The trick is picking a woman that wants a man, qualification is key.


EDIT: I forgot you said you broke up and she loves the new you. Taking back the masculine ques that got her back will put you right back to losing her. Not the end of the world. If she cant take the new you, its not meant to be.
Author:  vhou812 [ Tue Oct 01, 2013 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Doing pickup in LTR
In a nutshell, you are asking for help on how to cheat.

My advice, as a former cheater, is to not go there. You realise you have this desire. Communicate it to your gf. Open yourself up to her. If she is the right girl for you, you'll find a compromise. Who knows, maybe she is just a kinky beast and will follow your lead and your relationship can open up such that you have what you want.

Life is a lot easier and more fun if you approach it that way. Trust me, I know from experience.
Author:  Mr. J [ Wed Oct 02, 2013 3:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Doing pickup in LTR
I showed my gf all your responses and she thought it was funny, lol
Author:  ChitownMaverick [ Thu Oct 03, 2013 3:06 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Doing pickup in LTR
One of the many, MANY reasons to completely avoid monogamy and live-in situations.

Don't ever promise or demand monogamy, and all good things will come your way.

If you want to ease your dissonance, discuss with her the idea of having an open relationship.

If it happens, there will be drama involved.

You have to know what you want and refuse to settle for less (in all things, really).

But if you want a girlfriend and guilt-free PUA time on the side, open relationships are pretty much the only answer.
Author:  Dragula [ Thu Oct 03, 2013 7:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Doing pickup in LTR
Quote:
I showed my gf all your responses and she thought it was funny, lol

So why ask for advice if you're just mocking?
Author:  MrBreeze [ Thu Oct 03, 2013 4:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Doing pickup in LTR
Quote:
Quote:
I showed my gf all your responses and she thought it was funny, lol

So why ask for advice if you're just mocking?
Because hes a beta pussy that will need something to act all desperate about when this hoe leaves him again for being a pussy.
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