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| The old 'Asking her to be your girlfriend'... https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=169294 |
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| Author: | CharlosCarlies [ Fri Sep 27, 2013 11:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | The old 'Asking her to be your girlfriend'... |
I'm sure these come up here a lot, but I'd really appreciate some feedback on this particular case. Been dating this girl exclusively for about 4-5 months now. Sex life is good. She was the one that brought up the "being exclusive" talk which was about a month or so in, which I know was hard for her because apparently she hasn't had really any serious relationships. Everything's going mostly great w/ only a few minor quibbles here and there that were almost all resolved quickly. Despite that I think I somewhat AFC'ed it up last night while we were both a bit tipsy. On the phone, we had a minor disagreement and after resolving it I blurted out: Me: "I have to ask you something...do you want to be my GF?" Her: "Whoa...throwing out big words here." Me (still wtf'ing at why I asked that): "I wasn't asking you to be my GF...I was asking if you wanted to be." We joke back and forth for a seconds and she seemed to sorta challenge me, so I tell her straight-up "I want you to be my girlfriend". She starts saying stuff like "Why...I'm such a pain in the ass, blah blah". I repeat it. Then she starts making jokes like "Well can we at least wait until after the holidays because then we have to do the whole family thing, etc, etc." Basically my thoughts are that I had an AFC moment, but it seems fixable considering she never once said something resembling no. We're supposed to hang out Saturday (going wakeboarding on my boat...should be a great chance to DHV)....so I was thinking of just pulling back a lot today and acting like nothing really happened tomorrow. You guys know way way more than me though, so I'm really interested in your thoughts. What would be your course of action and how bad did I screw up? Muchos gracias in advance. |
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| Author: | AFCToTheMax [ Fri Sep 27, 2013 12:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The old 'Asking her to be your girlfriend'... |
Very simple answer. Why did you ask the question. You should have said: "I've decided that you are my girlfriend from now on" with a smile. Try not to ask your girlfriend anything. Instead just do stuff, if she doesn't like the idea she will tell you. I'm hoping that you don't ask her whether she feels like having sex or not... |
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| Author: | hustler101 [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 12:58 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The old 'Asking her to be your girlfriend'... |
This is beta game in relationships.. you need to be dominant If you want her to be your girlfriend, you should let her know by telling her "she's your girlfriend" dont give her the option of choice. If she disagrees with your frame then you can start giving her the cold shoulder. |
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| Author: | GamesSN [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 1:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The old 'Asking her to be your girlfriend'... |
Man, 4-5 months is a long ass time. She took the first step then you went all in. Not the best of forms but personally I don't see what you did as a major fuck up or anything. Remember, sometimes you just have to show interest, you can't keep the rollercoaster going constantly, women just get sick of it. Having said that, from personal experience, I generally just have fun. It's the girl that says she wants to be my girlfriend. I generally tend to play it down and prolong it even if i'm crazy about the girl because as soon as you label a relationship as "Boyfriend/Girlfriend" the whole dynamic changes. Next time, maybe a week from now, when you're with her in person just tell her you decided she's going to be your girlfriend. The reason she probably flaked before and didn't give you a yes is because you asked her over the phone. Chicks want to be asked in person, not in text or over the phone. |
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| Author: | CharlosCarlies [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 2:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The old 'Asking her to be your girlfriend'... |
Quote: Next time, maybe a week from now, when you're with her in person just tell her you decided she's going to be your girlfriend. The reason she probably flaked before and didn't give you a yes is because you asked her over the phone. Chicks want to be asked in person, not in text or over the phone.
Totally agree w/ you guys and fortunately it looks like things worked out despite my momentary lapse into AFCdom. One of the things I've had issue w/ is her not coming over to my place as much, and yesterday she surprised me and came over after work. Took her out and just played it off, she ended up bringing it up again and now we're good.Doing it over the phone was definitely a big mistake (stupid alcohol). I think I slightly recovered by being assertive about it instead of "asking", but it was definitely still an AFC moment I'm not proud of. Thanks for the reality check guys. |
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| Author: | RealMe [ Sun Sep 29, 2013 1:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: The old 'Asking her to be your girlfriend'... |
Quote:
Next time, maybe a week from now, when you're with her in person just tell her you decided she's going to be your girlfriend. The reason she probably flaked before and didn't give you a yes is because you asked her over the phone. Chicks want to be asked in person, not in text or over the phone.
Week after to push her again? Isn't that a road to neediness?
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