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GOING WUSSY/AFC... And it might even work..?
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Author:  Bertsky [ Tue Sep 17, 2013 6:14 pm ]
Post subject:  GOING WUSSY/AFC... And it might even work..?

Guys,

I was dating a 32 yo woman who is fantastic, but flakes a lot. I just boldly asked her where she thought this relationship was going. Her reply was a classic: 'you are a great guy, but i'm not in love with you, LJBF'. (This wasn't in person, but by text).

I basically replied to her that she was selling bullshit: i told her that I KNOW that she likes me a lot, that it clicks, that we are the perfect match but that she doesn't wanna know about it because she is just too fucking scared to get dumped later on.

Her answer was, basically: You are right...

I started to twist her arm a little bit (figuratively speaking) to meet up again, told her i'm madly in love with her, that we have to fix this because we are a PERFECT match (this is the wussy/afc part).
Normally, a woman would RUN for her life, yelling and screaming... But she didn't, and left the door open to meet again (not now, but in two weeks or something).

The girl was dumped 5 years ago, after she just gave birth to her little son. She has issues trusting men, she is scared to commit again because she sees herself 6 years later, single with 2 kids from 2 different men...

Needless to say, i love this woman and i want her to submit to me.

Anyone with similar experience, please advice!

Many thanx!

Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GOING WUSSY/AFC... And it might even work..?

Excellent trolling attempt. 9/10

This woman has only agreed to meet up with you. She hasn't reciprocated any feelings for you.

Basically this girl LJBF'd you, then you persisted and she agreed to meet you because she felt sorry for you.

Author:  In$tinct [ Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GOING WUSSY/AFC... And it might even work..?

My first girlfriend was pretty unique in a way that she didn't respond to very confident behaviour, or verbal flirting, and many other things in PU theory which was supposed to work. She responded however to pretty cheesy compliments and kino. During the relationship she was unaffacted when I showed manly qualities, and nothing worked against LMR, only patience, but she was very flattered by my poems which not only sucked but were pretty AFCish too. I didn't really have a clue about what was happening, as I lacked experience. Later I figured out that basically this only happened because she was also young and inexperienced.

Oh, and regarding your situation... I agree with Hunter_Foxe. You have been friend-zoned badly.

Author:  havegunwilltravel [ Tue Sep 17, 2013 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GOING WUSSY/AFC... And it might even work..?

Have you slept with this woman yet...if not your fucked.

Author:  Bertsky [ Wed Sep 18, 2013 6:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: GOING WUSSY/AFC... And it might even work..?

I have known her for 6 weeks only, i slept with her 5 days after we met.
We haven't seen each other that much, 2 dinners and a couple of party's... She can never keep her hands off me when we are together, we kiss all the time and she ignores her female (and other) friends.

I might be friend-zoned, but i'm not 100% sure...

As for my behaviour at the start: it was classic pua, i used all the tricks in the book, it was very smooth... So smooth that for 5 weeks in a row she asked me if i was a player or not. Eventually i told her that i was genuinely interested in her... But it doesn't change her behaviour.

Author:  vhou812 [ Wed Sep 18, 2013 6:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GOING WUSSY/AFC... And it might even work..?

To the OP, if you haven't seen her that much, and it's only been 6 weeks, what kind of a needy guy are you that you're MADLY in love with her? Gimme a break man. If that's the case, you probably fall madly in love with anyone you date, right?

Get yourself right. You fall madly in love with someone when there is INTENSE connection that is discovered through a LOT of interaction and quality time/activities.

For the instance where you are in a committed relationship, a serious LTR, if you know your woman loves the cheesy shit, it's not AFC in my book to write poems, or whatever she is into. That's you being a man and taking care of your woman. In other words, that's you making her happy, of your own free will, because you know how she responds and you like doing those things. It IS AFC to do those things if your woman isn't into them.

In general, good girls I know all like the cheesy shit, provided it's quite clear to both parties that you ARE IN a committed relationship. Until then, too much is just clingy, needy, etc.

In the OP case, I would say it was too much. Great job calling her on her insecurity, which she admitted. Alpha at that point is to accept she has the insecurity, tell her you understand, that you're still open to seeing her and that someday if she is ever over it, if you're still single and available, maybe there could be more. Since when is it alpha to push and push for a woman to spend more time with you? Even more important, why would you want to be with a woman who doesn't want to be with you or requires you to convince her to do so? Better to find someone who wants to meet with you of their own will.

Author:  Bertsky [ Wed Sep 18, 2013 9:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GOING WUSSY/AFC... And it might even work..?

I TOLD her that i was madly in love... Because she will only date a guy if she is sure he will stick around. She's been single for 5 years because she doesn't trust men anymore. She told me she wants to get married, have another kid but that she is so afraid to end up as a single mom with 2 kids from different men at the age of 40...

She also said she thought of me as too much of a player, even that i was too attractive for her and that she knows i'm used to dating 25-year old girls with barbie looks (she heard that of me, from mutual 'friends')

Three times has she brought up this discussion in the beginning of a date, and said that she wasn't going to kiss me that night. It takes me exactly 10 minutes, every time, to have her all over me again: hugging and kissing...

If that woman is NOT attracted to me, i know nothing about seduction but i like to believe that i do, at least a little bit.

Author:  havegunwilltravel [ Wed Sep 18, 2013 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GOING WUSSY/AFC... And it might even work..?

You can get all the advice you want, but ultimately you know the situation better than anyone else and you have already went ahead and did and said things that can be taken back. The genie is out of the bottle and can't be put him back in. If she really is attracted and afraid? maybe it will work. Good luck

Author:  vhou812 [ Mon Sep 23, 2013 6:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GOING WUSSY/AFC... And it might even work..?

Good luck and have fun dealing with this insecurity of hers for however long you subject yourself to it.

I'm not sure who said she wasn't attracted to you, that has nothing to do with my advise. The facts of the matter are that she told you she isn't ready for a relationship. Relationships are different than casual fucking. If you want to deal with her insecurities and issues, you're free to. I just don't think it's a good idea.

I stick by my last post. The only way you'll be truly happy with her, and vice versa long term, is if she decides without you going to lengths to convince her "in 10 minutes" that she can/should/whatever be all over you.

If you keep playing this game, I predict another post from you in 1, 2, 6???? months asking how to get her back, or how to get over her when she breaks up with you.

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