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Need some advice for newly single...
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Author:  FastFlyer [ Wed Sep 11, 2013 6:01 am ]
Post subject:  Need some advice for newly single...
Hey guys,

I broke up with my gf couple weeks ago and we were together for 2.5 years. She was a great girl had a really good quality relationship with her and feel like if circumstances were right and we didn't face all these overwhelming challenges when we did we could of had a very nice thing. But I can't dwell on that much and need to move on.

I guess because it wasn't expected, I feel like a have a empty hole inside of me that needs to be filled. Not only am I needy right now but I feel like I lost a lot of my confidence dealing with the break up. Do you guys have ways, methods for me that can help me get over her?

I want to get back in the game, I am doing online dating and had a couple nights out that pretty much led to nothing so I feel like my ego can't take many rejections right now.

What have you guys done to help you deal with this situation. I have very few friends here in Boise since I just moved here two months ago.

Thanks for your advice!
Author:  TheSeagull [ Wed Sep 11, 2013 6:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need some advice for newly single...
In a similar situation as yours. Broke off with my ex a month ago after 1.5 years. I was in love and considering to have her move in....
I am doing online dating too, but having some success (k-closes)

What I would recommend is being highly specific. What is happening on those dates? Did you k-close at all? How's your kino?

Getting out there is the best solution to the emptiness and all. But how you get out there and game makes all the difference.
Author:  Dragula [ Wed Sep 11, 2013 7:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need some advice for newly single...
I know how you feel.

When you are raging about the split you are like "ok, I'm single now! Time to get my mojo back and slay some vagina!!" But then you have a bad night because you're outcome dependent.

Then each time you go home alone makes you miss your ex and then your mind starts to fuck with you that you made the wrong decision.

I think the only solution is..... TIME.

Just keep meeting girls, hang out with friends and family. Try to remember all the bad parts of your ex , perhaps travel somewhere new....a few months of doing this and a couple of lays later might get you past this issue.

It isn't easy I know. Goodluck.

Listen to this song:

http://youtu.be/9m-psKA8TlY
Author:  FastFlyer [ Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need some advice for newly single...
Hey Seagull,

Thanks for advice homie! I actually did ok with one girl. She actually came over that night and we had sex. It was good (she scratched the shit out of my back) but she has a bigger butt and I feel like I am settling. She is cool but I feel like I can do better. The other one actually didn't seem interested, since we met at her work, she didn't text me the next day but I actually just got a text from her couple hours ago. I think I am still needy and not used to the game. I fucking love the game but I feel like an injured antelope now and all these girls are like lioness toying with my state of mind. I also spoke to another girl, that was cool, good looking and squared away in life. We had a phone conversation I did great, teased her, made her laugh but that was couple days ago. I confessed to her that I have two kids, something I didn't add to my profile. Not sure if that spooked her? I am honest from beginning (except on my online profile, and just that one thing which I realize is important) She left for a trip to MN for about a week so she mind be distracted with that.

My biggest complaint is when I go to the bars with friends. I guess when I was single few years ago and partying in Vegas, I would do well one night stands and I guess I have higher expectations right now despite lacking confidence, needy more than ever, and feel very impatient.

I completely agree with your assessment of just going out. I wish I had better more supportive friends at the time, I feel transition would be much easier. There are couple guys I hang with, but they are not the types that prop you up, but more of the ones that keep you in check, a little too much and sort of bring you down, if you know what I mean. I am also bald and 34, I am tall which is good and pretty fit and toned so initially I guess I can't do well strictly from looks alone. I guess I have an ethnic look to me so it's a hit or miss with ladies in Boise.

I guess my expectation is to get high quality tail, but maybe that will come in time. I hope you lived in Boise area we can go sarging together it always help that you can relate to people you go out with. Thanks again for the advice!


Hey Pebble,

Thank you too for the advice brother, I loved the song! Even though i think he raps about hip-hop it completely relates to women and them taking advantage of you and taking things for granted. I for sure think this is the case with my ex. I fucking did everything for her and that is the mistake I made. At first year I was calm cool collected the way the game should be played even while in a relationship but even the best of us get worn down with time from simple request to higher demands. Despite my lack of confidence right now, I am listening to audio books from various PUA and they are really making me feel overall better and putting things in perspective for me. God confidence is the key, and sometimes you have to fake till you make it. That's what I am doing now.

You hit it on the head when you said I am outcome dependent! You couldn't have read me better and that is the problem by far since I come off as needy and girls can fucking sniff that out like a bloodhound hunting rabbits. Absolutely good advice, I need time and I have reset my brain to not have high expectations at first, just to go with the flow and enjoy the freedom that I have at the moment! Thanks again homie!

Guys I appreciate the advice very well said!

FastFlyer
Author:  TheSeagull [ Thu Sep 12, 2013 5:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need some advice for newly single...
Quote:
Hey Seagull,

Thanks for advice homie! I actually did ok with one girl. She actually came over that night and we had sex. It was good (she scratched the shit out of my back) but she has a bigger butt and I feel like I am settling. She is cool but I feel like I can do better. The other one actually didn't seem interested, since we met at her work, she didn't text me the next day but I actually just got a text from her couple hours ago. I think I am still needy and not used to the game. I fucking love the game but I feel like an injured antelope now and all these girls are like lioness toying with my state of mind. I also spoke to another girl, that was cool, good looking and squared away in life. We had a phone conversation I did great, teased her, made her laugh but that was couple days ago. I confessed to her that I have two kids, something I didn't add to my profile. Not sure if that spooked her? I am honest from beginning (except on my online profile, and just that one thing which I realize is important) She left for a trip to MN for about a week so she mind be distracted with that.

My biggest complaint is when I go to the bars with friends. I guess when I was single few years ago and partying in Vegas, I would do well one night stands and I guess I have higher expectations right now despite lacking confidence, needy more than ever, and feel very impatient.

I completely agree with your assessment of just going out. I wish I had better more supportive friends at the time, I feel transition would be much easier. There are couple guys I hang with, but they are not the types that prop you up, but more of the ones that keep you in check, a little too much and sort of bring you down, if you know what I mean. I am also bald and 34, I am tall which is good and pretty fit and toned so initially I guess I can't do well strictly from looks alone. I guess I have an ethnic look to me so it's a hit or miss with ladies in Boise.

I guess my expectation is to get high quality tail, but maybe that will come in time. I hope you lived in Boise area we can go sarging together it always help that you can relate to people you go out with. Thanks again for the advice!

Glad to hear dude. I f-closed a chick tonight as well. TBH, after the deed I kinda despised her. She was pretty much passive the whole time, and I was super-horny so I came quicker than usual, which made for a pretty lame sex session overall.
With that said, the more you succeed, the less outcome dependent and needy you are going to be. Yes, you are probably "settling". It's normal when you get back into the game after a long hiatus. You are not in good "shape", and you need to restart training. You don't start lifting 50 pounds. You start with 5. Same here. You start with "easier" chicks and then as you succeed, and your confidence goes up, and your neediness down, you move to harder ones.

Did you explain "game" to your friends? Maybe they need to see that it works and it's not a bad thing. I have a friend like that, who is skeptical of PUA, online dating and all. Very beta but good guy. I try to encourage him to try gaming.

Keep sarging, and keep those f-closes coming :!:
Author:  FastFlyer [ Fri Sep 13, 2013 3:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need some advice for newly single...
Awesome Seagull! It's always good to hear a fellow Sarger knock it out of the ball park. Haha I think I felt the same way, the other night. I guess I have my days. I go through phases of really missing my Ex. She was such a great person but I think our timing together was wrong. She is only 24 and I am 34 and I think she needs few more years to grow up and learn to appreciate the things I did for her. She has a blog that she posts random pictures and creative thoughts. She posted this today:

"If you are laying in bed
wrapped up in sheets
of miserable thought
go to sleep

if thumbing through old messages
only causes your heart to ache
and long for something unattainable
erase them

if it hurts to keep
everything you're feeling
bottled up inside
let it out

if you're clinging onto someone
that doesn't treat you like
you're worth the world
let them go

because sometimes
we choose to believe
that things are only
indistinguishable shades of gray
when in reality
life is more black and white
than it seems

if you're unhappy
with the way
you are living your life
change it"

Pretty fucking deep and definitely gives me a window in how she is feeling. I guess I am torn and not sure how to proceed. I am on the fence right now and I feel like if I continue to block her out I will forever change how I feel towards her and I still love her.

She mentions life being black and white but I think she couldnt be more wrong.


As far as explaining the game to my friends, I have and most of them are too proud to accept that as a life changer. They feel like those things are gimmicy and that they don't work but sitting together in a group of afc s starring at girls all night without a sorry attempt to approach is even worse.
Author:  TheSeagull [ Sat Sep 14, 2013 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need some advice for newly single...
If your friends' support/partnership in game matters to you, then show them
Go to a club with them, pick chicks up, show them proper game, and take it from there
Proof should be persuasive enough

If you feel you can pull it off by yourself, then by all means go for it. They are your buddies so they should respect your choices even if they don't understand/believe in them for themselves, and support you through it albeit not as wingmen.

As for your ex, it's up to you.. do you genuinely want her back because you love her, or it is just the loss of comfort/companionship and the fact that now you need to work again for pussy?
I know I love my ex, but the more days pass from the breakup, the less I think I would take her back.. she left me aching and hurting, and I was the one to wipe her tears off her face at least once a week. So I know I would not have done that to her, certainly not for the stupid reason she did it to me. Which does not make me love her less, but diminishes my faith in her as a lifelong companion.
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