I have rebellious feelings of wanting to do whatever I want.

You DO have to compromise

Interesting observation. The shit tests have definitely been going on more lately than before. I guess I forgot how to deal with them for a while. I do agree that you have to stand your ground at times but dont you also agree that you have to compromise to make things work?

IT'S GOOD to get shit tested. If she ISN'T then it's because she's lost that interest in you, and she's put you in the harmless zone,and can walk all over you.

Ignoring shit tests is not bad. It sounds like some of the times you have ignored them, that's the default basic route that a lot of real men take. And it works well.

I'm one who likes to accept shit tests, and play the awkward card for laughs. An example, "I could really use some help with the laundry, you never help with it!" to which I cockily responded, "Fuck yes! You can finish rotating the tires on that fancy ass suv, I'll start the laundry, hope you like gray underwear!" With a big grin, That resulted in a laugh. And a "Please don't touch the laundry!"

Another common relationship 'shit test starter'. Unable to take command.

Milk-toast mode

Her: Let's go out.

You (guts clenching): Where do you want to go?

Her: Somewhere nice, you pick.

You: You never like what I pick, where should we go?

Her (tone change): You never take me anywhere nice!

You (whiny/angry): I said I'd take you, what the HELL do you want?!

Her: Wants to say; A Man-says; I don't even want to go now!

She storms off to the kitchen, eats a tub of Haggen Dazs, and cry's while she gains six pounds.

You wait til she is gone to bed..alone, to use her vibrator while dreaming of the UPS guy. Eat a TV dinner, sneak your laptop into the bathroom, and jack it to some little people porn.


You being a MAN

Her: Let's go out.

You: Okay, we are going to _______ wear your little black dress! Or; NO We are staying in! I'll grill up some steaks!

As far as being in control

What are your honest goals in the relationship?

Either way you need to pump and dump. Or you need to regain control. Cheating would just be like putting a band-aid on a broken arm.

One other thing you can do, is just be who you want to be. Focus on that, don't worry about anything else. If you don't want to react shitty when she throws a shit fit, focus on not doing that. Find a way to not get dragged into it. You might be surprised how she reacts to your new mode of operation. I can almost guarantee if you are successful, eventually she will ask you why you changed, how, etc. And I can almost guarantee she will be more attracted to or more invested in a guy she can't piss off. Getting pissed at her or getting drug into the fight is like completely giving her your power, she has control over you and can put you in that state whenever she wants you in that state. If she cannot do that, it will blow her mind and make you more or less irresistable. I think this is because you're so high value that you are at different levels of value when she is having a shit fit. Since she can't drag you down and take away some of your value, she is forced to demonstrate higher value and come up to your level, and the triggers in them the sense that you are GOOD for them. As such, they never want to let that go and will go to great lengths to keep it.

I appreciate your response. This really hit home with me. Being who you want to be and really focusing on maintaining that person is one of the toughest things to do; especially when you begin to merge your life with someone else's. I find a lot of couples end up being codependent. On the flip side of that a lot of people here say that in a relationship you need to be independent and play the game over who has control and not to give in etc. When in reality if you are going to be in a successful relationship you need to be interdependent.

Anyways, thanks to all for all the advice. As hard as some guys here find it to approach, chat them up, hook up, make them want you, etc; it is nothing like having a good healthy relationship. It is easy when you are on your own but when there is someone else involved that you truly do love and care about it gets a lot more sticky. So all I got to say to that is when you are asking how to make this girl your girlfriend, just be careful what you ask for!