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| Help with managing expectations for FWB https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=167090 |
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| Author: | Mike1 [ Sat Aug 10, 2013 6:47 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Help with managing expectations for FWB |
So I stayed NC for a month with my ex girlfriend of 6 months. During this time, I had some time to think things through, and felt that she is not LTR material. There were trust issues and respect issues in the relationship. I have a suspicion she might have cheated while we were together, not 100% sure though. There were other issues as well that led me to break this off with her. Last weekend, she showed up at the bar I usually go to, with a friend. I was happy to see her and she was as well. We had a heart to heart conversation and just caught up with each other. They were going to leave early to take the bus home, I offered to drop them off. After dropping off her friend, I dropped her off when she invited me in. At her place, I mentioned the key issues that still remain unresolved between us, and that, without a resolution, a relationship would have the same problems and we would both drive each other crazy. I know she is interested in a relationship with me. While we were talking about other things, I brought up that the physical part of the relationship was exceptional, and it would be good to keep that going, without the other things in the relationship. She agreed to it and seemed excited. I insisted we both think this through and leave the intimacy for next time, she agreed as well. We kissed, but did not take things any further that night. I don’t want to mislead her into thinking this will eventually become a relationship. I have been honest and upfront with this girl about this and I do like this girl. I have never dealt with anything like this before where it’s only sex and nothing else. Is it a good idea to be FWB with someone who has (most likely) cheated on me? She just turned 30, and is looking to settle down. |
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| Author: | Wolfwoodd [ Sat Aug 10, 2013 7:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help with managing expectations for FWB |
Sure, just follow the FB rules and you should be fine: http://puarticles.blogspot.com/2008/01/ ... rules.html -Wolf |
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| Author: | Mike1 [ Sat Aug 10, 2013 9:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help with managing expectations for FWB |
Quote: Sure, just follow the FB rules and you should be fine: http://puarticles.blogspot.com/2008/01/ ... rules.html
Thanks Wolf. Since she (likely) cheated, isn't that like rewarding bad behavior? Just wanted to clarify.-Wolf Have to add that I benefited greatly from your post on drama free relationships - screening. This is when I realized I'm dealing with someone in the "freak" category. |
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| Author: | Wolfwoodd [ Sat Aug 10, 2013 10:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Help with managing expectations for FWB |
Your response to the cheating was to downgrade her to "fuck buddy" / "friends with benefits" status. I think that's pretty appropriate. You two aren't exclusive anymore so the cheating thing is a non-issue. You can let it drop. Just make sure you don't revert back to acting like you are in a serious relationship with her (i.e. follow the rules). -Wolf |
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