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| Girlfriend going to beach question https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=165755 |
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| Author: | krular [ Mon Jul 15, 2013 2:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Girlfriend going to beach question |
Me and my girlfriend have been together for 15 months now, just moved in together last month. Girlfriend got invited last month to go to the beach on a weekend that i was going out of town somewhere else, and I told her go ahead and go without me and have fun. Plus it was her friends parents place on the beach. They all decided to go again this coming weekend. Im know the couple of the ones, whose parents own the place. For the past month, i have heard gf talk about the beach and cant wait to go. Never once asked me to go, or even entertained the possibility of me going. I know its not her place and it might be rude to ask if i could come too. But saturday, we went to these same friends lake house and while there, the boyfriend of the couple asked me if i was coming with them this weekend to the beach. I said "no, i wasnt invited." I knew the second i was asked this question, i would get asked by my girlfriend if i wanted to go to the beach this weekend with them. What do you all think? Should i just accept now and go or what? |
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| Author: | In$tinct [ Mon Jul 15, 2013 2:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriend going to beach question |
Great! I'm just in time before the nonsense shitstorm begins about how this was a shit test and what stupid games you should play... I think the best way is that you go with them, and make sure you guys have an awesome time. Also note, that I don't think you should be thinking about this too much. I don't invite my girlfriend everywhere I go and neither does she. We have some personal life apart from each other too, as this is the healthy thing in a relationship. |
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| Author: | odyn [ Mon Jul 15, 2013 2:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriend going to beach question |
I agree with instinct, just go have a great time, not much more to it. Just try to forget how you got invited and worry about having good time. I think its pretty normal for boyfriend/girlfriend to do things together and apart...don't over think. |
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| Author: | krular [ Mon Jul 15, 2013 2:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriend going to beach question |
dont get me wrong, i dont have a problem with time apart with friends at all. It is kind of a toss up. She is right about not her place to invite but you are her other half so I wouldn't see it totally out of line for her to ask to see if you can go also since you are her boyfriend of some time. I mean if i was invited somewhere like this, unless i just wanted to be with just friends, then i would ask if there was room for my girlfriend. Last month she went with friends and i got several message from her while she was there saying "wish you were here" |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Mon Jul 15, 2013 3:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriend going to beach question |
People need time apart when they're in relationships. It's nice to share experiences with your gf and her friends but too much and you risk smothering the other person. Personally, I won't go, because I'd respect it if her original idea was to go only with her friends and won't want to go because she feels obligated since her friend said it. |
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| Author: | krular [ Mon Jul 15, 2013 3:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriend going to beach question |
this has nothing to do with spending time apart or spending time together. This has to do more with communication i guess. Being respectful of the other person and letting them know what you are thinking. I asked another friend this same question and it was a girl. She said in this matter, it is more of a double standard. It is not rude for a man to ask if his girlfriend can come along, but it is rude for the woman to ask if her boyfriend to come along. |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Mon Jul 15, 2013 4:43 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriend going to beach question |
Huh? Now I'm confused. Maybe she doesn't want to impose and invite you because it's not her place, or maybe she just wanted to enjoy it with her friends alone. If she didnt want to impose, no big deal, most if not all women dont speak their mind about things and are passive. However, reading it again, if she's been going on about it for a month, it's kinda weird not to mention something about you going or why she thinks you can't go. But most likely no big deal. If everything else is fine, dont look too much into it. |
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| Author: | In$tinct [ Mon Jul 15, 2013 5:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriend going to beach question |
Krular. How well do you know your girlfriend? I'm asking because if she's the mature, understanding type you can probably talk this over with her. If you're not sure about it though I wouldn't recommend it because many women would act all bitchy about this thinking you don't trust her and stupid shit like that. We've had a quite similar case with my girlfriend once. She was going on all day long about how great the play she would be seeing is going to be. Then a friend of hers called it off, and she told me to wait a little bit so she could call some friends to pass it to someone. I was also confused at first about this, and just asked her why she didn't ask me. And then with a puzzled face she told me she thought I didn't like the theathre because I have never told her about my favourite plays. Now of course I'm not saying your girlfriend would think that you don't like the beach. That would be pretty stupid, but the conclusion is that there can ALWAYS be some ridiculous reasons like this in similar situations. |
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| Author: | vhou812 [ Mon Jul 15, 2013 7:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girlfriend going to beach question |
Drama, drama, drama. Do you want to go to the beach with her? If you do, you should have brought it up casually by saying, you know, I wouldn't mind hanging out at the beach sometimes. If you don't want to go, then don't worry about it. Could be she didn't feel authorized to invite you. Could be she wanted time away from you. Could be she thought you didn't like the beach or have any interest in going. If you don't express interest or ever invite her to the beach somewhere else, how would she know you even want to go? This is simple. Either you want to go or you don't. Do what you want. The rest is a waste of time and energy thinking about. |
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