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| What would you have done? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=165651 |
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| Author: | Pizza Man [ Sat Jul 13, 2013 6:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | What would you have done? |
Yesterday, my gf and I went miniature golfing after a great day at the lake. Things were going great but, on hole #6 she receives a phone call from a number she did not have programmed in her phone and decides to answer it. I stand there next to her for like 2 minutes waiting for her to take her turn but, she never does. Therefore, I move on and finish the hole. I wait at the end of the hole as she is finishing her turn while still being on the phone. At that point, I'm like F this, and play at my own pace even though we had to wait on every hole because it was crowded. She continues on the phone for 10-12 minutes until hole #8 ends. At hole #9, when she is off the phone, she knows that she pissed me off so does not try to talk to me or even come around me and I put no effort towards her as well. After hole #9 I tell her I don't feel like playing the whole 18 with her anymore because I feel disrespected and want to go home. On the ride home, we have a civil argument where I tell her I felt disrespected and would tell whoever it was on the phone that I was busy and would call them later. I then basically tell her to put the shoe on the other foot. She says she would be upset but, she would've handled it by standing next to me the entire time and then asking after who was so important that it couldn't be put on hold. She agrees that it was "rude" to do at the time but, me saying that it was "disrespectful" is being dramatic. When I drop her off, she apologizes for being "rude" and tells me that she will handle the situation better next time. My question is, did I handle this correctly and what would you have done differently? Thanks in advance! |
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| Author: | minsok [ Sat Jul 13, 2013 11:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What would you have done? |
I'm hardly a relationship expert, but it sounds like you got the desired result. She said she'd handle it differently next time and be more considerate of your feelings. You were out doing something with her and she ignored you, unless it was a family or work emergency, I think you were right to be annoyed; it was definitely socially wrong. She should have told you what was more important/interesting than you afterward. Next time she does something that pisses you off, you should take a few minutes to cool off, though. I think you over-reacted ending the date, you definitely could have recovered if you swallowed your anger and found a way to make yourself laugh. I don't think you needed to punish her to get your point across. |
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| Author: | Pizza Man [ Sat Jul 13, 2013 5:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What would you have done? |
Quote: I'm hardly a relationship expert, but it sounds like you got the desired result. She said she'd handle it differently next time and be more considerate of your feelings. You were out doing something with her and she ignored you, unless it was a family or work emergency, I think you were right to be annoyed; it was definitely socially wrong. She should have told you what was more important/interesting than you afterward.
Just to clarify, the phone call was not a family member or an emergency. I never even asked who it was, she began to explain, but I told her it didn't matter because her actions showed that whatever friend that called her was more important. Next time she does something that pisses you off, you should take a few minutes to cool off, though. I think you over-reacted ending the date, you definitely could have recovered if you swallowed your anger and found a way to make yourself laugh. I don't think you needed to punish her to get your point across. Not sure I agree with not cutting the date short. I understand your reasoning and if it was something I really wanted to finish then I would have. |
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| Author: | neo87 [ Sat Jul 13, 2013 7:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What would you have done? |
It was rude and you were disrespected. Yes, you handled it correctly IMO. |
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| Author: | minsok [ Sat Jul 13, 2013 10:45 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What would you have done? |
Well, maybe this is an age thing. It was immature to shut the whole thing down and not listen to her when she wanted to explain. Communication goes a long way. Believe me, I understand you were too pissed off to want to keep playing, I know that feeling very well. I think it's a DLV to let something small and thoughtless (it wasn't on purpose) ruin your day. I think you did good letting her know it wasn't okay. |
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| Author: | Pizza Man [ Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What would you have done? |
Quote: Well, maybe this is an age thing. It was immature to shut the whole thing down and not listen to her when she wanted to explain. Communication goes a long way. Believe me, I understand you were too pissed off to want to keep playing, I know that feeling very well. I think it's a DLV to let something small and thoughtless (it wasn't on purpose) ruin your day. I think you did good letting her know it wasn't okay.
Completely agree with your post. As for the bolded, this is my typical behavior that I do often and am working on. For example, if she says she is going to come over at 6, I'll immediately say "ok sounds good" without letting her explain. I don't need her reasons as why it is 6 o'clock but, she likes to explain to me why and I am working on "allowing" her to explain it to me. |
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| Author: | dukehoopz30 [ Mon Jul 15, 2013 4:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: What would you have done? |
Ok she should have said she was busy... but to be dramatic and pout like a 2 year old lowered your value. Like if you cant handle some dude (if it was a dude even) taking to her for 10 mins this relationship isnt gonna work. If she is any hot she is going to have guys hitting on her... if you cant handle that or accept it this wont work either. Enjoy every moment with her... dont be dramatic and ruin the night by quitting early because you are on your period. Girls hate guys that are jealous. 10-12 mins is 1 thing... 1 hour on the phone is another. The punishment should fit the crime. GL Duke |
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