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Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this one
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Author:  Mayhem_ [ Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this one
For the past few weeks things haven't been great between me and my girl. I decided we needed to break contact for a while to figure things out. I sticked to my words and today i got a message from her saying that she was ready to talk. I called her up and had a long talk. She said that she found it very annoying that i always said yes to everything, that i didn't do much effort for anything, that i'm to easygoing and have no opinion. All of these points are true, for some reason i went from alpha to extreme beta, and she was missing the challenge.

I told her that i knew what she was talking about, and that i am changing it for myself. I decided to throw away my bad habits and live my life again. Eventually I told her to think about the pros and cons, figure them out and make a decision, she said that she knew for herself that there's nobody out there this good for her and her heart says she needs to be with me. She was pleased to hear that i was reading books again, gotten contact back with my social life and got back to my old roots. But she wanted to slow things down. If we would stick together, to chill. We went into it to fast and to strong.

The question is, how exactly do i go from here? I threw her a text saying ''It was a good talk, the honesty was great. Enjoy your night out!

It's somehow weird because you have this connection for 7 months, and you know eachother, and suddenly you're a different person, and things WILL be different.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
Stop being a "yes" man. Have a backbone.

Anyway, I don't see the point of taking time apart, its not really working on anything, rather it is putting things on hiatus.
Author:  Mayhem_ [ Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
Quote:
Stop being a "yes" man. Have a backbone.

Anyway, I don't see the point of taking time apart, its not really working on anything, rather it is putting things on hiatus.

Not entirely true to be honest, i agree that it's often stupid, and if things dont work, they dont. But for some reason, i was certain that some time appart was good, because it was only that way i could see through my behaviour.

But i still dont know, how should i do this? Text her, meet up with her, wait for a bit, etc?
Author:  Betamax [ Sat Jun 22, 2013 5:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
What's your question exactly? You know you have to work on yourself, so go ahead and do just that. As far as spending time apart, that's never a bad thing... She won't forget about you overnight. She'll only miss you more.
Author:  Mayhem_ [ Sat Jun 22, 2013 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
Quote:
What's your question exactly? You know you have to work on yourself, so go ahead and do just that. As far as spending time apart, that's never a bad thing... She won't forget about you overnight. She'll only miss you more.

Nevermind - decided to just enjoy life, and wait for her to reach out. She proposed to take things slowly after all. Guess i'm not cancelling any dates next week.
Author:  Alanny2410 [ Sun Jun 23, 2013 10:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
First, Stay relevant to her, don't do the mistake of waiting till she responds to you. It was your bad. She didn't officially break up with you and you guys are dating again. If you wait until she responds, this will be seen as immature.

Second, don't be texting her on a constant basis. You gotta be like a fisherman who sees another fisherman from a far. You give her a little to stay relevant, but disappear for a while. You then become mysterious and don't go into much detail about what your doing that doesn't concern her. Make it seem like you a better of yourself, but never brag. Comes off natural and you score on the intrigue she will have for you.

Third, Always Maintain the Balance between you and her. You = 52% Her= 48%. This will insure that she stays interested and maintains respect for you. What girls would in situation like these is gain the upper hand on you completely by feeding off your mistakes that got you here in the first place.

Finally, When you have issues in a relationship, you must address them accordingly. The Man always give the face when their is a problem. Always address important problems and the small ones not as much. However, always make sure she is willing to resolve the problem, sometimes girls will make drama to break your balls. Only thing you do is stage the resolution conversion and in the end the resolution. But always make sure she states honestly her issues first, be careful girls nowadays will make it seem like they are stating their issue but are giving you some serious bullshit. Read her carefully. Women will try to get information from you first to scope you out and give you none in return. So at first you stage the resolution conversation. Second, you see if she is willing to commit to resolve this issue by seeing if she is willing to state her problem. Check to see if she is being legit about it. Third, if not legit, joke with her and don't take her seriously by being sarcastic ,but only for a little bit. Don't become a clown now. (If she is being legit this does not apply) Fourth, You end the conversation and tell her you will talk to her later if she is giving you bullshit and state that you guys need to talk about this conversation seriously and that if it doesn't get resolved it will affect your relationship with her. Fifth, if or when she is serious in stating her claim; you state yours and finally give a resolution.

If you talk to her again, please don't act or be sorry. Be like i recognize what happened in the past and no longer wanna indulge in the past. I'm ready to move on.

P.S. - Straight from Washington Heights, New York City - Love to Dyckman City
Author:  Mayhem_ [ Sun Jun 23, 2013 11:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
I like your advice mate, it's something i would follow aswell, but i have a hard time figuring out exactly what to do, and what to say. I'll give you a better insight on the current situation.
We took a week appart with no communication like we both agreed too. On saturday she dropped me a message saying she was ready to talk, I went snowboarding and told her i would call her that night. I did.
When i got on the phone, i opened up with something funny which she laughed about. Then quickly swapped to the ''How were your exams part''. She told me it didn't go that well, because of what was going on but that she did pass this year. I noted that it was a great thing to hear. I didn't prolong the reasons why we were calling so i went alright let's go straight to business. Told her that I saw the problems, named them and said to her that i am throwing away my bad habits and reorganising my life, for myself. She was very happy to hear it. I told her that i also figured out what was bugging me, gave her an explanation about it. She did ''fight'' back but i held my ground and gave her more details to which she finally agreed to that i was right. I told her that we shouldn't be waiting, that both of us have a life to live and that i want to hear her story. She told me about the clingyness, that i never say ''no'' and that i am to easy going on things. I didn't disagree and said that she's right, that i have already made my choices and that i'm improving these aspects. I told her it's great to hear it from her, but that i'm gonna put it all behind me and start over again. She was very happy again and agreed to us leaving this behind us, eventually she said that there is absolutely no guy out there that will be better for her then me.

The conversation went great, there was no emotional accusing, she wasn't mad, she was very talkative and i managed to dominate the right moments again. (If she'd talk when i was talking, i told her to shut up.. In a gentle way) and she gave in. Which for her, is great.

Eventually, she told me that if we decide to continue, to take things slowly, only see eachother once a week etc.. I told her it's perfect since i'm focussing on more aspects now. (Social, sports, ...), she also mentioned that we should let the conversation sink for now.

So basically, we ended up saying ''Let it sink for now'' and I didn't really got the idea on what to do next. Does she need time, should i wait a few days, call her, text her? I'm not sure what's best.

I also am unsure on how i should approach her, for 7 months, it has been clingy, loving talk. ''I love you most, i'm so happy with you'' all the time between us. It sort of feels strange to suddenly be going ''alpha'' in our conversations, or being flirty.
Author:  Mayhem_ [ Sun Jun 23, 2013 3:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
Wow, i'm actually baffled. I decided to just throw her a message and it all went perfectly.

Me: Heya! It seems looking good hasn't slipped you yet ;) did you enjoy your night?
Her: Hi! Thank you ^^ It was fun, how about yours?
Me: It was nice, we met up after defqon and managed to bring the SPAM along! I was wondering if you're up to go out this week.
Her: Sorry that i respond this late, I'm at the wokrestaurant. Defqon? Yeah definatly! Have to look when i'm available though.

I sort of expected her to say stuff like, it's to soon, or i think we should wait.

Seems like the situation has stabilized.
Author:  Donston [ Sun Jun 23, 2013 5:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
Read the book the superior man by David deida ..... There is a free PDF online!

It will solve all!
Author:  Alanny2410 [ Mon Jun 24, 2013 9:27 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
Is important for you to work on your inner game or in other words on being an Alpha male always. You must be an Alpha male when not in a relationship and when in a relationship. However, you must learn how to adapt in being an Alpha male when it comes to relationships and being single, but the fundamental principles and core of being an Alpha Male never change in either situation. I recommend you to visit www.solvemygirlproblems.com
This website will help you in perfecting your inner game craft and teach all the fundamentals and principles to being an Alpha Male.

Inner Game(being Alpha)= the interior of your game, your foundation, your base!
Exterior Game(Pua) = helps you brainstorm on how to approach girls and advertise your game and personality.

For example:
Inner game= your body being in shape, big penis,big balls
Outer game= clothes, watch, shoes

Pua game should be your brainstorm and analysis you apply to your natural game to be more effective. Alpha male game is to help you decipher the world and women to grow and keep your balls intact. Alpha male = being a real men(thoroughbred men)

*Alpha Male= Is learning to become a real men with balls at all times.
*Pua = gives you an edge to your masculinity.
Author:  Alanny2410 [ Mon Jun 24, 2013 9:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
You should also work on your Pua game, but your Alpha male game is more important because it gives you a foundation. Pua game is like the extra layers to your game, but once a girl gets through all those extra layers; she will destroy you if you have no foundation.

Pua game = conquer women's attention and time
Alpha male game = keep women attracted and in check.

Pua + Alpha = equals perfect game.

Pua game= should be scripted authentically to fit your person, so it can come off naturally. Gives you an edge against other competition.
Alpha male= gives you the upper hand in the relationship and makes you immune to shit test and attempts by women and men to attack your manhood.

Physical appearance and financial security( going to college, likely to have a future that can provide for her security in a home and food for future offspring, good topic164537.htmljob that makes good money) can larger enhance your chances in this cold world.

Being a able to be an alpha male, have superb genuine pua game, being physically fit , having a good job and being a genuine good guy that is not to be taken advantage to sum up all your game is what you should be aiming for. In other words, a moral attempt at survival of the fittest to be the best men can make you a worthy opponent against other competition.

Note that they will be other individuals as myself that will be doing the same in being an alpha male and pua master competing with you. Women will leave you for the better Alpha male if had the chance and if you lose don't let it bother you and be all clingy. So you must constantly continue improving yourself and never lay back. Remember in the long run, if you take it easy with your game, a break a women might give will be very limited and women will never have remorse for you if you slacking off and being soft. Women will always look for the best mate they can be with and will use you without thinking about it twice, because it's biologically programmed in them; cannot be changed. Your job as a men is to maintain balance with you having the upper hand for having greater responsibility for leading the relationship. You give that by attitude, character and action.
Author:  Alanny2410 [ Mon Jun 24, 2013 10:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
Concerning your issue now, you reached out to her too early. You gotta give it like 1 week of space or 2 weeks of space at least on your behalf. Now if she reaches out to you, no problem thats what you want. For her to chase you and you not her. Overall, men only chase to initiate the women chasing you in the long haul. The chase should very minimal, its like risking and giving a little to get a lot in return.

If you reach out to her in 1 week or 2 weeks, she will start wondering what is it that is keeping you so preoccupied that you not hitting her up. This will start making you more interesting to her.

Then you hit her up every week, 2 weeks, 3 days , 5 days, 3 weeks, you mix it up. Don't make the distance factor a pattern, you gotta make it legit by mixing it up. Don't have long conversation, only medium and try to cut her off first and leave the conversation first in a common and patient manner every time. If she does it first sometimes don't stress it, keep your composure and don't let it bother. It's all about setting up this push and tug war to win in the long run. Don't give her as much and have a laid-back receptive attitude that keeps the living up the conversation to a minimal. She has to earn the living up the conversation factor if she wants it more constantly. Its like never give too much, but since she is no longer your official girl give even less. She will make it seem like it doesn't bother her to get to you, but you keep being persistent. Is all about who cracks first and that my friend cannot be you. She will fight, scream, try to ignore you but it's all about who wins the poking war. If you win, she will fall your needs, respect you as long as your game stays consistent and give love and affection. But when she break, stay persistent on the game plan till you make her fall undeniably in love with you again. It's all tough love my friend. You gotta be cold and loving by learning to alternate them flawlessly. You will sweep her off her feet and best of all, she will respect you as well. Cautious Love takes time so don't rush, she can easily be putting an act on the early stages so risk giving carefully.

Also don't forget to stay relevant and eventually take her out by the third time you guys talk. But keep pushing away and tugging back till her heart collapses on your hands.
Author:  Alanny2410 [ Mon Jun 24, 2013 10:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
-Never be clingy, let her be the clingy one. Only do it very minimal.....very very little
-Don't say I love you till she earns it and says it first. You say after she says it. Only say it if your girlfriend or wife on special occasions.
-Don't call or text her constantly. You the man, your the important one, you gotta establish that, not her.
-Don't ever be totally honest, be strategic with your honesty but always keep your words and be careful when you make promises. Lie and be honest on basis for the greater purpose unless it is something drastically unfair or jeopardizes her well being.
-Always have the upperhand in the relationship and never cheat in relationships.....thats your word.....your word are your balls.
-be passive-aggressive
-Always better to work around the situation and keep your strategy and honesty at a minimal. Don't let her scope you out completely cuase then you will no longer be interesting.
-Be of a greater purpose and be a man that follows his rules and codes.
- Learn how to punish and learn how to let the small things go, unless it starts becoming a habit, then she made it into something big.
-Give her space and distance, never be jealous and if she breaks the rules have a no second chance policy when she breaks it big time.
-be the one on demand, not her.

P.S. - from Washington Heights, NYC ; Dyckman City
Author:  Mayhem_ [ Mon Jun 24, 2013 10:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
Thanks a lot for your advice mate.
I have been sticking to most of the rules, my plan was to cut contact for a while, have minimal conversations at times, keep being occupied and eventually let her reach out to me. In my mind i have already set a limit and i am ready for whatever happends. She's pretty hardheaded though so i wouldn't be surprised if she would never initiate contact with me despite any feelings from her side, but if she does play it like this, she's not worth it. I am still wondering, i had a conversation with her with her which went like this.

Me: Heya! It seems looking good hasn't slipped you yet ;) did you enjoy your night?
Her: Hi! Thank you ^^ It was fun, how about yours?
Me: It was nice, we met up after defqon and managed to bring the SPAM along! I was wondering if you're up to go out this week.
Her: Sorry that i respond this late, I'm at the wokrestaurant. Defqon? Yeah definatly! Have to look when i'm available though.
Me: Defqon's a festival in holland, mostly based on hardstyle. The days i'm unavailable are monday and friday, if you know more you can drop me a message.
Her: Oh that's nice :). Yeah, monday, tuesday and friday are the days i can't. For the rest, i dont know.
Me: Aight, no problem. If you can on wednesday it'd be cool.
Her: Wednesday should work, what do you want to do?
Me: We can go (Gave her 3 options)
Her: I think having a drink is more appropriate and more fun. :)
Me: Sounds good, we'll go for the (the place) then. Let's meet up at the afternoon.
Her: Preferably not to early, but i'll have to look home when it's the best time to meet.
Me: Ok, let me know later then. I'm gonna let you eat now. Enjoy!
Her: Thank you!

I never got a response from her that night, or today when we should meet up.
When i look at the conversation i'm not sure wether it was rocky, just not the thing or if it was alright. She seemed interested at first hand, but eventually it seems like there's some sort of buyers remorse?
I've decided not to reach out to her to ask to ask the time though, it's her job to let me know. I gotta say that if she doesn't contact me back, i'm probably gonna skip this chapter and close it off since it's disrespectful.

Also i wonder, if things do work out well and she reaches out. I follow the rules of the 3 days, 1 week, 2 days no contact thingy. What should i use for conversations?
Author:  Mayhem_ [ Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Had a talk with my girl, need some strong advice on this
She opened me up on facebook today with a ''hey :)''
We had a small talk and then told her ''Is wednesday still on? You hadn't texted me about the time.'' She then said her memory bailed on her and apologized, definatly wanted this and we set up a time to meet.
Gotta say though, our conversations are strange, I never really know what to say and i hate going into question mode about her friends,family or whatever.
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