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Not ready for realtionship, but likes me and texts me
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Author:  Ratlor [ Sun May 26, 2013 10:36 am ]
Post subject:  Not ready for realtionship, but likes me and texts me
Hey,

so it all began when I was singing at some event and after we had a party and went out. When we were in a bar, a friend of mine told me that that hot girl wants to meet me and is interested in me. I knew who was she, but I always thought she "so high".

So we met each other, but afterwards we went to different places. Two days after, we went for a coffee. The date was great. We were talking for almost 3h, she is a 9, really smart, we really went along well. Just thing is I'm 21 and she will be 25 soon.

After that date she texted me, we talked for 2 hours again. Next days we texted and went for a lunch and a coffee again. It was just too good to be true, everything went so well. We also agreed to watch a movie and that she'll cook me a dinner.

Then (4 days after first date) we met on some party. After 1h we were making out, she kept telling me she likes me so much, that I'm hot, called me sugar, etc. But then she started talking about different views on future, how she's not ready (she ended 2 years relationship 3 months ago), how I don't deserve that, how it would just end badly, how she's older and looks for different things and I'm young and want to party, but that's ok she says...

The next day we met again, I kissed her on the mouth when we met, we went for a coffee and the same story all over again. We can't, I can't, I'm crazy, I'm not ready, etc. The funny thing is, while she was telling me this, she was kissing my hands, looking me in the eyes like she's in love, hugging me, kissing me, calls me sweet names (like sugar, honey, it's hard to translate in english :D), everything. When she starts talking bullshit I start singing and she shuts up and starts staring at me like I'm an angel :D She also said it's not easy for her cause she likes me a lot.

So I went home, devastated. Can't stop thinking about her. I don't know what she did, but it only took her 5 days. She wrote me later this day, that she finds it strange that she is thinking about me and to get off her mind. We still text each other, but she refuses to meet me, says that it's not a good idea.

So what now... Should I be persistent and just give her some time? Should I just run? Should I ignore her? She said she needs a lot of attention...
Author:  In$tinct [ Sun May 26, 2013 12:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Not ready for realtionship, but likes me and texts me
Hi!

Thing is if she ended a 2 years long relationship not long ago, she might really not be ready for another one.

But on the other hand she's all over you. I think the best you could do is take the lead here if you really want her.

She's concerned because you're young and I'm sure that what she liked the most about you is your energetic vibe and way of living. Too bad this also signals for her that eventhough you're really attractive, you just might not be the really serious stuff she's looking for.

So you better show your mature side. I guess others will send a remark too, but I'd go with something like this next time you're out for a coffee or something and she starts her shit:

"Sweetie... Sssh.... Sweetie. Let ME decide what I'm ready for. I know you like me a lot, and I really like you too. You can't deny the strong connection that is already between us. Why torture yourself when I am here? You may think I'm immature but you'll never know unless we try. Now here's your choice. I'll walk out that door without you and we'll never see each other again, or with you."

And then you take her hand and lead her home. I think you can pull the other stuff alone. Oh and don't let her interrupt you.
Author:  Ratlor [ Sun May 26, 2013 12:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Not ready for realtionship, but likes me and texts me
Great, thanks!

But the problem also is, that yesterday when I asked her to go shopping with me cause I really need more clothes, she said:

Me: "You wanna go with me blabla..."

Her:" I'm thinking :P"

Me: "Well, why not, blabla..."

Her: "Kitten (it's sounds WAY better in my language), how good is this idea? :/"

Me: "Meow good."

Her: "Hehe, you're really sweet, but I'm serious."

Me: "Look, I need more clothes, and I'm gonna do it with you or with someone else. Altough I'd rather do it with you."

Her: "Heh, you're soo sweet, but it's better if you go with someone else."



How am I supposed to even meet her? She's all over me but kinda decided it's "bad".
Author:  In$tinct [ Sun May 26, 2013 12:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Not ready for realtionship, but likes me and texts me
Wait a day or two, and then text her:

"I want to talk to you. Meow serious stuff. And not in text. Let's get a coffee at X place. Free at Y"
Author:  Ratlor [ Sun May 26, 2013 1:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Not ready for realtionship, but likes me and texts me
Will do that... thanks.

If anyone else has any opinion on what are my chances, what to do, etc. please feel free to share :)
Author:  Ratlor [ Mon May 27, 2013 2:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Not ready for realtionship, but likes me and texts me
So yesterday at 22.30 I invited her to smoke a cigarette. We sat on a bench and she put her bag between us, I think it was on purpose. We talked for an hour and a half mostly about random stuff, and also a bit about us. It was all kinda friendly... she made it clear again that we can't be together I guess. She thought that after we made out on that party and then when she told me about her not being ready and other bullshit I'd be more like ok whatever, cause that's what we 21 year old guys do. Bullshit.

I think it's over... if I knew there was a chance, I'd do a lot to get her, but then again I'm afraid to get hurt even more and I'm kinda sick of that. Sick of women and their bullshit. You're sooo sweet and sooo cute honey, but I can't. Fuck. Just want her out of my head...
Author:  Dr. Jones [ Tue May 28, 2013 7:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Not ready for realtionship, but likes me and texts me
You doused the sexual tension with cold water. You drank coffee with her for hours. Then you met her again for coffee for hours. Then you texted for hours, then you met her at a park and sat and talked for an hour and a half.

If you ever take a woman to coffee, make it quick and whisk her away to a bar. If she resists, then to hell with her. Go get yourself a drink by yourself.

She just got out of a two-year relationship and that means she's reluctant to jump into another, but it doesn't mean she won't. Your job is to swoop in and be as awesome as you can and work towards getting the lay. You're a musician. Next time, rep that and make it happen faster. Amplify that sexual tension.
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