I now have a real though problem here.

She wanted to talk about history details early on. And asked me for example why I broke up last relationship, etc. She directly stated "the past was before us", and how that past looked like should be completely irrelevant. I knew she had casual sex to loose virginity. I got over that. I had another topic about that before. But I stopped caring if it was casual one nighter. However, few months later something raised my curiosity about the whole story. Mind you, I had my own reasons, I started suspecting it was threesome or foursome.

Now I have the info, 100% sure what she now told me is true. And fucking Hell, I'm bothered.

That night, on vacation with her friend or something like that, one of them invited three guys. Strangers, as she told me. Also she didn't count on it at all. She was also very drunk. I knew she had ONS in the end with one of them. But now she mentioned clearly the main part: they were all playing bottle spin game, which comes down to kissing with everyone, female-female kissing, and so on. And blowjobs involved. So. That. Was. Pure. Sluttery. She did a blowjob to ONE guy, just like that. While her friend did it to all three of them. Afterwards, unrelated, separately she ended having sex with another one. Nothing happened simultaneously, at the same time, so it was no threesome. Back then she was younger than 18, and was a part of this whoredom party, with her female freaky insane whorish friend.

She said its not uncomfortable for her to talk about it. I clearly saw she doesn't lie and told me everything at this point. And I'm mindfucked how she doesn't even seem to comprehend my reaction about this. I feel DISGUSTED, and she mistakes it for irrational jealousy. It doesn't matter if it was before me, and now she wants a deeper relationship, now I am "the first one she cares about", I'm not jealous, I am sick and disgusted.

The problem is, she IS a quality girl, appears for now, and this really seems like quality relationship, has been so far. I absolutely can't complain on her as a girlfriend. But I don't have a fucking clue what to say, think or do anymore.

The problems is, I'm already exclusive with her 4 months. I can't de-attach like this. She also clearly shows that she had chosen me for a relationship (which is her first RS btw).

So these options that you speak of can only be applied as to completely break up, for that sole reason. Well, I'm not sure what to do, its a god damned though decision.

And now, if you look into my older topic with similar name, I was attacked for being "unreasonable", because I dared to question person's past and thought that past defines future.

I'm not saying dump her, by all means, keep seeing her. I'm saying don't get serious/exclusive with her, and keep your own options open, or you'll get hurt.


The problems is, I'm already exclusive with her 4 months. I can't de-attach like this. She also clearly shows that she had chosen me for a relationship (which is her first RS btw).

So these options that you speak of can only be applied as to completely break up, for that sole reason. Well, I'm not sure what to do, its a god damned though decision.

And now, if you look into my older topic with similar name, I was attacked for being "unreasonable", because I dared to question person's past and thought that past defines future.

Damn, sorry to hear. Unfortunately there's little you can do. My suggestion is, make sure you have options waiting in the sidelines. Don't cheat, but don't hold back from checking out new girls and getting to know them. Not trying to be "negative", but chances of this relationship working long term are zero to none. However, there are exceptions to every rule, and I don't want to turn you away from her without knowing for sure. Just make sure that you do not let yourself become too emotionally involved, and if and when it falls apart, you won't be too hurt. Enjoy it while it lasts, but understand that she is most likely incapable of having a serious relationship at this point in her life. By the time she's ready to settle down, you probably won't find her attractive anyways.

The guys that are calling you unreasonable and insecure, are themselves deeply insecure, and use over-the-top and outrageous promiscuity as compensating behaviors to try to validate themselves as "A MAN". Any time you see a "BRO" in his douchebag affliction tank top, tatoos, and a flat brimmed cap walk in to a room, you can be damn sure whose ego there is the weakest (watch these same bros cry like little bitches every time they get drunk and fight with their gf). Be strong, and be a man. Don't let any man or woman make you their bitch. The people that are out to prove to you just how manly they are (be it with their artificial d-bol grown muscles, or their extensive collection of utterly meaningless lays), have the emotional fortitude of a porcelain vase, and are the first to crumble when shit hits the fan.

Many people tend to sleep around after a breakup, with people they generally wouldn't consider to be models. I have too. Why? Because a breakup makes us insecure in our sense of worth and "manhood", and so we go around and try to compensate by sleeping with a bunch of others to try to validate our worth. In the end, it doesn't do much good. Do what you are comfortable with doing, be honest with yourself (this is EXTREMELY important), and be with people you really desire, and not just placeholders for "fuck buddy" or a token girlfriend.

Good luck mate, PM me if you have questions.

Excuse me for quoting the whole post, its from mobile phone. So then, in order words, I have to base this relationship on lack of trust, have eyes open all the time, calculate, and beat myself down to decrease investment which would be better deserved by some other girl in her place? And live with doubt, that it isnt going to last anyway? The problem being, I cannot function that way, and she would probably notice change inside me, we both couldnt be happy. Nothing in life is certain, but I prefer investing in things worthy of investment, cant live other way around. I have two questions left. Is it a mistake to talk any of these things with her? And, if shes still close with that crazy female friend of hers,hanging out,what to think about it?

Honestly, it all depends on how much she means to you right now. If you really do love her, then I'd say breaking up now is unwise...
However, aside from her past history pre-relationship with you, you need to consider past history post-start relationship with you. That's also extremely important. So far it seems to be just fine. So why ignore what happened (or didn't happen) during your 4 months together and only fixate on what happened in the distant past?

I care about management of this RS.

And I do put pieces together, thus tend to analyse present period even more, just because of past variables. (BTW, that past may really not be so distant, rather close). Its naturally how my mind works, and because of my programming expertise, it happens to be my way of thinking/analysis about everything, even simple little things outside of computer. Using such logic, I have real difficulty to believe that things can deviate from patterns in small time interval. It may seem so, but any explaining is usually easy. Since this happened once, its not really a pattern, but - screw it, I'm gonna use harsh language suited with context - its a clear demonstration that she is capable of being complete slut, not like every woman. I'm not making a reduction only to call her a slut, but the facts show she is capable of being one. And I estimated she doesn't regret it, maybe she's even proud of it. Told me twice "it didn't mean anything to her", but of what use is that statement exactly? None.

To me, every potential problem, and change will be magnified because of the past, unfortunately. For example, it seems to be "just fine so far" and in total, however I do have few problems, such as I don't like that we had sex only once in last 3 weeks. Reasons being, her period first week, then because we manage to be together at my place only once, twice a week, so we did it once, and then in next two occasions I am surprised she seemed to completely avoid sex. In cuddling things can turn into a foreplay, and at this point she turns me down for sex very subtly, and telling me she loves me. I know for sure she was tired from previous prom night, but still... Its obvious sex can't be highest priority, you have to focus on other things, but its not that we are doing it daily. She lives 5minutes away from me, and in 95% of cases, goes home by 11p.m. (yes, home because she then hangs online for a while to talk). So, by getting turned on, half an hour before 11p.m. - time was her excuse + not preferring "quickie", like its a problem to add another half hour. Do you really control your desire by a clock? Not even once did she sleepover at my place yet, though I suggested, and response is technically always - "at some other time".

Another thing I don't like is when I suggest spontaneous things, like going for a short walk, and get excuses. I repeat we live 5 minutes apart. The "routine" is to meet 2-3x per week, in average. My place and drink outside. As I get to 'lead', I tried suggesting random simple activities, so even though she is not extremely outgoing, and neither am I, almost always it was "at some other time" type of response. She was always supposedly studying, or this or that - and no, I'm not feeling needy, + I am busy myself, but once in a while to have short meeting in Sunday shouldn't be a problem just because we had a major date the night before. In other words, there's this feeling sometimes like we are still dating, instead of entering deeper levels of relationship after almost 5 months. I know that 5 years age gap will leave effects, but she is also individual who I got along very well, and not only some stereotyped 18yr old. However, some things I just don't get.

My friend, I'm going to be honest with you, and it probably won't sound pleasant, but I think you need some perspective on the matter.
From what I've seen from this/other threads by you about this girl, you have fallen in to the trap of rationalization. You make observations, and then you try to explain everything in the context of those observations. The problem here, is that you are being subjective, and selective in what observations you use, and what assumptions you make. With this error, no amount of rationalization will lead you to the right conclusions. Sometimes over thinking a situation can be dangerous, because you arrive at a set of conclusions that can be completely wrong because you made too many assumptions, or were too selective in what you considered, and then acted on those wrong conclusions. You should think less. Much less.

In my personal, possibly flawed opinion, what I observe here is a typical relationship where guy and girl meet, girl becomes interested, guy falls madly in love, girl becomes uncomfortable and withdraws, and the guy starts to look for the fault in the girl. You mentioned somewhere you had sex once in three weeks. First off, that's a big red flag, especially only 3-4 months in to a relationship. You appear to be pulling for most of your dates, and she seems to realize this and be in control, and not particularly excited about it anymore, because she has learned to take you for granted (because you let her). You have noticed this, and subconsciously you realize this, and you see the relationship is headed on a fast track to nowhere, and now you are trying to protect yourself by finding fault in the girl and finding reasons for ending the relationship. Now, I don't want to sound mean, but I highly doubt you will act on those reasons/or the decisions you're contemplating. What will happen instead is most likely she will continue to withdraw and you will continue to try to make it work, while blaming her, and becoming more and more insecure, and eventually it will all come to a whimpering end.
I don't want you to get hurt, and this is the synopsis of how things will progress if you don't do something about it. What you need to do immediately, is find your huge bag of fucks you carry around and hand out all the time, and throw it in the nearest bin. Stop giving so many fucks. Meet some other girls. Stop caring about what this chick did or might do. She's not wife material. Enjoy her while you can, and when she becomes unsuitable, find someone who is. She'd do the same to you, trust me. It's how the game of dating works.

Good luck.