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How to deal with this
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Author:  Bradski [ Sun Apr 21, 2013 9:12 pm ]
Post subject:  How to deal with this

Ok so, I was typing with my girlfriend on SPAM while in a call with one of my friends and then she said
"When are you done talking to him" and i said why and she said she wanted to talk to him.
But thats not the problem, I know they are just friends, the annoying part is that she wants to talk to him over me. And this isnt the first time, she always calls this guy on SPAM but never calls me, just messaging. I called her out on it later cause I was really pissed, and she was aware of what she did, she knew I was mad because she wanted to talk to him over me.

I can deal with all of that but there is another issue, she never wants to hang out, its been 2 months since i last saw her and thats alot considering we've only been together for 5 months, she only wants to type on SPAM and its getting really really boring. I know she isnt cheating on me, i know for a fact she is still attracted, but she just never wants to do anything it seems.

I've thought alot about breaking up, but other than these issues I really like the girl.
I just want to know what to do about all of this and how to react to the SPAM thing, or if i just should break up.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Apr 22, 2013 2:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with this

Soft next

Author:  Bradski [ Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with this

Alright im already doing that, but how do i get her to actually want to hang out and not just text all the time, every time i ask her to hang out she makes up some bullshit excuse.

Author:  Mak [ Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with this

Walk away , move on.

Author:  Themagicalone [ Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with this

Quote:
Alright im already doing that, but how do i get her to actually want to hang out and not just text all the time, every time i ask her to hang out she makes up some bullshit excuse.
Game other girls since this chick doesn't want to hang with you find another that will

Author:  floridakeys26 [ Tue Apr 23, 2013 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with this

Definitely, definitely move on. You say this girl isn't cheating on you, and is still attracted to you. That *may* be true, but typically a girl not wanting to hang out with you is a bad sign; a worse sign is that she'd rather talk to another guy over you. Even if you say you're happy otherwise, you don't really sound that happy, my friend. Respect yourself: end it with this girl and find someone who cares about you.

Author:  neo87 [ Tue Apr 23, 2013 11:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with this

Move on. Youre not her bf is she hasn't met you in 2 months.

Author:  Stephen B. [ Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with this

Quote:
Alright im already doing that, but how do i get her to actually want to hang out and not just text all the time, every time i ask her to hang out she makes up some bullshit excuse.
What does "never" mean? Was it different when you first started dating?

I got the same problem. No initiative on her part. When we started, she respected my time and asked me ahead when we can meet again. Quickly after initial dating she settled in her position, where I have to plan and confirm things. Its either because she's young and completely inexperienced with relationships, or I'll have problem with her interest fluctuations.

She just agrees on fixed days(we gradually customised it to no more than 2x per week), otherwise when I suggest random daytime activities, she finds an excuse, but doesn't give counter-offer, at all. Yes, she's busy. I am, too.
Instead she prefers to text just for the sake of texting. Of course, that becomes too generic at times. Then I get impression that her interest level is 49% or less, but when we see each other its about 85% or more.

When I do mention some hopefully interesting plan, she almost neutrally responds with "we could do that". But such games and hesitations should normally stop when more than 3 months into exclusive RS.

No need for me to open separate topic, since OP brought this, so can you guys give further comments here?

Oh, another problem - her habit of being late. If its 5:00 at my place, she'll appear at 5:30, but will rarely sacrifice single minute when it comes to going home . If we meet outside, it can be 5-10minutes. I do that too, but what I've noticed, if you don't call her out on things like that, she won't even consider it a problem in future. Exactly how they tend to move boundaries. Sometimes I wonder if we should even bother to set them, or just leave it to test of time and dump them when its over the top.

Author:  Bradski [ Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with this

Quote:
Quote:
Alright im already doing that, but how do i get her to actually want to hang out and not just text all the time, every time i ask her to hang out she makes up some bullshit excuse.
What does "never" mean? Was it different when you first started dating?

I got the same problem. No initiative on her part. When we started, she respected my time and asked me ahead when we can meet again. Quickly after initial dating she settled in her position, where I have to plan and confirm things. Its either because she's young and completely inexperienced with relationships, or I'll have problem with her interest fluctuations.

She just agrees on fixed days(we gradually customised it to no more than 2x per week), otherwise when I suggest random daytime activities, she finds an excuse, but doesn't give counter-offer, at all. Yes, she's busy. I am, too.
Instead she prefers to text just for the sake of texting. Of course, that becomes too generic at times. Then I get impression that her interest level is 49% or less, but when we see each other its about 85% or more.

When I do mention some hopefully interesting plan, she almost neutrally responds with "we could do that". But such games and hesitations should normally stop when more than 3 months into exclusive RS.

No need for me to open separate topic, since OP brought this, so can you guys give further comments here?

Oh, another problem - her habit of being late. If its 5:00 at my place, she'll appear at 5:30, but will rarely sacrifice single minute when it comes to going home . If we meet outside, it can be 5-10minutes. I do that too, but what I've noticed, if you don't call her out on things like that, she won't even consider it a problem in future. Exactly how they tend to move boundaries. Sometimes I wonder if we should even bother to set them, or just leave it to test of time and dump them when its over the top.
At first she wanted to hang out all the time, if i ask her now she just says "If you really want to" hinting that she doesnt want to or just makes up some complete bullshit excuse.

And its really weird that she doesnt want to meet me considering she says shit like "I dont know what I would do if you werent my boyfriend", says "I love you" all the time and she always goes overboard saying sorry when she does something wrong.

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