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Need really help with my relationship.
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Author:  Roosvicee [ Fri Apr 12, 2013 11:39 am ]
Post subject:  Need really help with my relationship.
Thanks guys for reading this thread :)

So here is the story, I'm sorry for my English, I'm not a native speaker.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 9 months now, she is great for me, we used to have so much fun together. But last month it is starting to become more boring.. I think she is getting less attracted to me.

We see eachother two or three times a week, and we use SPAM alot, we used to talk to eachother non stop during the day. But lately we barely talk to each, no more flirting on SPAM and she never calls, almost no affection if we see eachother. I had the idea that I was putting more effort in the relationship, last week I put less effort in it, didn't notice anything different.

And I have done the most stupid thing a guy can ever do, I read her text mesages a month ago.. She was talking with like 4 guys and I saw that they really liked her, flirting with her and she was sometimes flirting back (not always) . I shouldn't have done this, this show insecurity and jealousy, bad qualities, makes me look like an complete AFC. I think this was the start for becoming a bad, boring relationship. She still talks with them.

We still have sex once or twice a week.

So I dont know what to do, I was thinking about some options I have:

-Next her, I think I have one itis, she drives my feelings nuts this month..
-Soft next her, maybe she will get the attraction back.
-A break, to get myself together.
-Do many fun things with her.
Author:  _Lothario_ [ Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
You were showing insecurity long before you found out she was talking to other guys. I can't believe you looked at that situation like "OMG I am such a fool for doing this" instead of "Who the fuck are all these guys?"

You can't trust her. She will cheat on you if she hasn't already. DUMP HER AND DON'T TALK TO HER ANYMORE!!!

Texting anyone all day is a MAJOR sign of insecurity. You should be filling your time with things more important than texting, and not distract yourself with the phone all day. Put the phone away. Take a break from it altogether, maybe leaving yourself an hour out of the day for actual use. Get off the phone and be in the moment. While you're staring at the phone waiting for replies you are becoming more and more dependent on it while missing out on the world around you.

GFTOW
Author:  Roosvicee [ Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
Quote:
You were showing insecurity long before you found out she was talking to other guys. I can't believe you looked at that situation like "OMG I am such a fool for doing this" instead of "Who the fuck are all these guys?"

You can't trust her. She will cheat on you if she hasn't already. DUMP HER AND DON'T TALK TO HER ANYMORE!!!

Texting anyone all day is a MAJOR sign of insecurity. You should be filling your time with things more important than texting, and not distract yourself with the phone all day. Put the phone away. Take a break from it altogether, maybe leaving yourself an hour out of the day for actual use. Get off the phone and be in the moment. While you're staring at the phone waiting for replies you are becoming more and more dependent on it while missing out on the world around you.

GFTOW
Thanks, you're probably right and I really am considering a break up. But what is your opinion on a break? I still have too much feelings for her. Everybody flirts sometimes with somebody else I think, she did it, I did it and the flirting wasn't such a big deal, she even lets me use her phone if she is away, she TRUSTED me and I fucked it up.

If I'm going to breakup I really need to work on my inner game..
Author:  Roosvicee [ Sun Apr 14, 2013 8:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
Guys, need help, saw her today and was almost just like always?? We didn't talk about us but I felt there was something "different" than normal.

Any suggestions? It is making me feel sick, I'm currently working on my inner game but still..
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
Well I would hold on before breaking up. I mean 9 months isn't THAT long but it's still long enough. Go cold turkey on her. Stop initiating texts. Ignore a text here and there. Stop asking to see her. See what that does. Does she come running back to you and ask you why you've been distant? Does she become insecure? Or does nothing happen? If nothing happens, odds are she may have lost interest in you and there isn't much you can do other than move on and prepare for a breakup.
Author:  Roosvicee [ Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
Quote:
Well I would hold on before breaking up. I mean 9 months isn't THAT long but it's still long enough. Go cold turkey on her. Stop initiating texts. Ignore a text here and there. Stop asking to see her. See what that does. Does she come running back to you and ask you why you've been distant? Does she become insecure? Or does nothing happen? If nothing happens, odds are she may have lost interest in you and there isn't much you can do other than move on and prepare for a breakup.
Thanks, I did cold turkey last week, she asked me why I was being distant and if something was wrong.
So she hasn't lost interest in me right? what should be my next move?
Author:  neo87 [ Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
Your gf flirted with other guys behind your back. She could have hooked up with someone, she could have not. Regardless, she is not gf material and doing anything to make her chase you again, even if it is successful is just going to make you win back a trashy girl. Why would you want that kind of girl to chase you
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
Did she say she missed you? Did she make any additional efforts to talk to you or see you? And how did you answer her question? Did she ask just one time and let it go, or did she insist on a truthful answer?

And when she flirted back with the guys, what kind of flirting was it?
Author:  Roosvicee [ Sun Apr 14, 2013 9:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
Thanks guys ! Really appreciate this.

@Fly, she asked it twice why I was being distant, I told her I was busy with stuff and lately she never says I miss you or that stuff. She asked me why I was being distant, I said I was busy with stuff and she said mmmm okay, it's probably just me then..

The flirting was not really a big deal I guess, the guys asked for hot pictures of her, she reacted playful, if you give me first :) that stuff, just really playful texting, didn't reach much though.

What should I do?
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
That's it? That was all the flirting? She asked for their pictures? Unless she asked for topless pictures, it's not a huge deal but I'd see why you'd be unhappy about it. Still doesn't warrant an immediate breakup though.

If I were you, I'd continue going cold turkey. Although next time she asks why you're being distant, don't lie. Just be honest. Tell her you feel like she's the one that's been distant, and have an open conversation. See where it goes. You've been dating for nine months... By then you should be able to have adult conversations.
Author:  _Lothario_ [ Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
Dude...if she's acting in a way that you feel crosses the line, even if it's just in her heart and not actually in her actions, then break up with her and go out a lot. Have you ever seen Crazy. Stupid. Love?

Do that. Go out. A lot. Go out and hookup with whatever comes your way, and seriously...break up with her. Quit being a slave to her. Quit living this bullshit lie that you won't do better, because you can. It isn't going to be easy at first, but eventually you will have a better life because you don't accept shitty SPAM from others.

GFTOW. Be a man. Keep your fucking chin up and go approach more girls.
Author:  Roosvicee [ Mon Apr 15, 2013 12:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
Fuck, I am going to breakup ..

I wanted to talk her about thtis and she said okay, she would come to my place around 2:30 PM , it is now 3:00 pm and she didn't show up! fuck her, she didn't said a thing since then.
Author:  silvia [ Sat Apr 20, 2013 3:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
I'm pretty sure what you want is reassurance about you being with him but from the things you've provided, I'm sure you can see for yourself that you don't mean to him as much as he means to you.

He had always been trying to work it up with his ex, so he's into her very much and just using you as a backup. You might not think so now, but you'll realize this in no time.

I don't doubt your love but time does wonders. When you find a new man that's willing to give as much as you give in this relationship, you won't regret this.

He's probably only doing "amazing things" because he doesn't want to lose his backup, so he keeps you closer while trying to work it out with his ex.

People change but you've given him more chances than he deserves. I'm not telling you to breakup with him but I would if I were you. Think about it, be smart.
Author:  Sin831 [ Sun Apr 21, 2013 6:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need really help with my relationship.
#1 rule, be the one that cares less about the relationship.
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