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I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
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Author:  hervine [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:58 am ]
Post subject:  I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
We were both in love. I've checked her Facebook messages, and saw her writing to her friends she never had this deep a connection. I'm a very high value person. Our relationship was good, sex was great, we were having lots of fun, deep conversations, cuddling/gazing.

However whenever she would voice concerns, I would just freeze her out (not interested in drama). Looking back I think that was short sighted and I should have been more open when she was voicing her disagreements respectfully. I basically never compromise. She was saying how I'm this nice person but there's this whole other side to me that's running away (the side where I freeze her out and ignore her/change topic).

I said I'd join her upstairs, but I changed my mind and fell asleep downstairs. She came down upset I didn't come to sleep with her. I rolled over and ignored her. She then said she's leaving. I told her: "ok, jog on. It was nice being with you. Bye." and went back to sleep ignoring her packing her things. She left.

When she comes back, I'll refuse to take her back. But I'm missing her loads. I fear I'll compromise on my ideals. We would have such great times and experiences together. I can't help feeling that I was a little too tough on her, and did too much pushing. I'm 25, she's 21.
Author:  Danzella [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
Sounds like you've taken the freeze outs too far and haven't quite understood the purpose behind them.

You're only supposed to do a freeze out when she does something wrong, something that crosses your boundaries. Bringing up something in a controlled and calm manner is a perfectly acceptable thing to do. If she feels something isn't quite right you should let her voice those concerns and discuss it, the freeze out only comes into it if things become heated.

Sounds like you're just being completely cold to her for no apparent reason, though you seemed to have realised that already. She hasn't done anything wrong from what I can work out. If you want to be with her, apologise and get back with her, if not, be kind, polite and wish her the best for the future.
Author:  neo87 [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
Not high value because someone who's high value won't say they'd do something and then not do it.
Author:  snillaheart [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
yes you shouldve had sex when she said im leaving, she now thinks youre not interested
Author:  krular [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 1:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
You have alot to learn. There is a differences between sarging women and actually being in a relationship. You cant play The Game to the "T" in a relationship, you loose your relationship like you have here.
Author:  7000 [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 2:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
Yep if you're in a relationship that you actually want to last more than a couple of sex sessions then things like freeze outs and that just don't work. This is my main annoyance with pick up; when people misuse it and basically just become poor human beings. If a girl is interested in you after quite a while of sex/basically a relationship and wants an emotional connection, why freeze her out and all that crap? Let her talk to you; if she's falling in love then either commit or let her down gently and get out. Why hurt her?
Author:  hervine [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 12:00 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
She came back to visit me. I saw 2 missed calls from a random number, tried to call her and she suddenly walks through the door.

Everything's peachy. We have a bit of heart to heart, and share the highlights from our last few days. She's happy and has moved in somewhere else.

- She asks me to take her on a date. We're apart and she wants me to do the whole dating thing. Dates aren't really my thing and it won't happen.
- She asks me if I will come visit her when she moves to Sweden, and I agree.
- Her: "I miss you." Me: "I love you." ... bit of cuddling.
- Told her I'm busy this week, so she's lucky she caught me now while I had some free time.
- She says sorry. I said I shouldn't be so hard on her.
- We're getting sexual and she suddenly breaks off in a fun way to get some food.
- I said it's good we spent time apart and I had time to reflect on things and gain new experience.
- She leaves.

I think she's fucking someone else and I'm not really feeling her anymore. I'll LJBF her. I feel much better after her visit. She was affectionate but not really working for it.

EDIT:

I SMS: "You're full of life and vitality. Lets just be good friends. Visit soon. xx"

She calls me 10 mins later, sounds down. I tell her we're making a movie night and she kind of goes "ohh, sounds nice... I should've stayed...". We talk about the SMS, and I say that I think it's the best way because I don't see us getting anything out of the relationship except lots of wasted energy and time. She says "You really think so?...". I tell her that she even said it herself when she said we're both so different. She goes "noooo. I didn't mean that." and insists we talk tomorrow. My schedule is busy so I let her know the 2 hours when I'm free to meet me. She's enthusiastic to come.

EDIT2:

She calls a friend to hand me their phone. Tells me she loves me.
Author:  andyredsox [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
You are rude man, if you're not feeling her anymore, tell her, don't let her hope for nothing.
Author:  neo87 [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 3:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
This has got to be the most idiotic break up ever if there isn't any info missing. Can someone tell me what this was about?
Author:  PUA-Paris [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
Quote:
This has got to be the most idiotic break up ever if there isn't any info missing. Can someone tell me what this was about?
lmfao seriously, made me chuckle a bit..


She's not being a bitch to you, why are always insisting on being cold with her? You say you love her so then just love her man, quit being stubborn.

You sound like you have major self esteem issues
Author:  Mr. Assertive [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
Ah, I got bit by the PUA tactics and inadvertently hurt a girl I care deeply for. Don't game your girlfriend hardcore, you get into mental masturbation. Luckily, I apologized to her the next day after doing idiotic things like you are doing. If she is displaying GOOD behavior why would you punish her? No reason to do so. For example, I thought my girl going no contact for a 2 days was unacceptable. Then I looked back and realized how much effort she puts in when she is with me before those two days and I slapped myself for overdoing it and overanalyzing the situation. Clearly, my relationship game is amateurish at best. My advice :Don't sabotage your own relationships.



Mr. A
Author:  smushed [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
Hervine I'm sorry to say, but you have emotional problems. You're not alpha. (I write this with concern and not to challenge you). Your asshole behavior will certainly attract girls, but I am sure you are in for pain down the road if you don't grow up and deal with whatever shit is blocking you.

Being alpha is being aware that you are responsible for those around you and being up for that challenge. You are responsible for their physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual (where applicable) well being. Being alpha is not just doing whatever the fuck you want. It's knowing where you are going and not deviating from that.
Author:  harare [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
Quote:
We were both in love. I've checked her Facebook messages, and saw her writing to her friends she never had this deep a connection. I'm a very high value person.
You were not in love, and you are not high value my friend... Being asshole without any reason is not sign of alpha and value but sign of emotional insecurity...
Author:  vhou812 [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
I won't be so hard on the OP.

If you had a great thing going, and you miss her, be honest with yourself. I'm not saying you should waste your whole life on her. But you owe it to yourself to let her know that you may have been too hard on her because of your own issues. A good woman will jump at the chance to help you overcome them if you're worth it. And a smart man will accept her support.

If she moves on or takes your sincerity and shits on it, then you can get over it all however you see fit. But you're not helping yourself by simply letting something you admit was pretty good go to shit over one lousy mistake of playing too much PUA game in a real relationship. You fucked up. Big deal. We all do. Apologize, ask for forgiveness and let the good things happen. If it's too late, accept that, and apply what you learned next time around.
Author:  7000 [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: I told my girl to jog on. Missing her.
Yep, I think in many ways it's almost pick up's fault rather than the OP. I used to read quite a lot about 'morals in pick up' and there was at one time a lot of posts on here discussing the idea of using game but leaving a girl better off than you found her (even if that was nothing more than a good session of sex in a one night stand). I haven't seen such posts very often recently, although I may just have missed them.

I won't criticise the OP too much, but certainly I think you need to adapt how you use your tactics hervine.

As for the situation - I'm fairly sure I saw you say somewhere that she was moving to Sweden. If this is relatively soon then why are you getting too worked up anyway?
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