PUA Forum :: War of attrition

Hey Guys,

Recently posted about GF refusing sex. I did what was suggested. I pulled back and it worked, she is now way more horny.

However I have this re-occurring problem. Have any of you guys experienced the following?:

This weekend she gives me drama right before bed. I ignore her and go to sleep, next morning she is gone because she leaves before I do. I felt a soft next was in order and I've been 'ignoring' her. The thing is, and this happens most every time:

She will just match me, she simply won't instigate, she will ride it out. It's like shes thinking 'fuck him, if hes ignoring me then I will ignore him' and this goes on and on. If I decide to re-initiate I receive more drama on why I was ignoring (which I will either palm it off and tell her I was busy, or I will eject). In which case the cycle repeats. If she initiates it's usually 'I need to speak to you' and if and when I decide to meet up wth her she is pissed, I will try palm it off, be indifferent, but I find myself either riding it out, or having to soft next again because she won't drop it.

Any ideas? Right now it feels more like a war of attrition. Whoever can ignore the other the longest 'wins'.

Author:	garmondo [ Thu Mar 28, 2013 10:34 pm ]
Post subject:	War of attrition
Hey Guys, Recently posted about GF refusing sex. I did what was suggested. I pulled back and it worked, she is now way more horny. However I have this re-occurring problem. Have any of you guys experienced the following?: This weekend she gives me drama right before bed. I ignore her and go to sleep, next morning she is gone because she leaves before I do. I felt a soft next was in order and I've been 'ignoring' her. The thing is, and this happens most every time: She will just match me, she simply won't instigate, she will ride it out. It's like shes thinking 'fuck him, if hes ignoring me then I will ignore him' and this goes on and on. If I decide to re-initiate I receive more drama on why I was ignoring (which I will either palm it off and tell her I was busy, or I will eject). In which case the cycle repeats. If she initiates it's usually 'I need to speak to you' and if and when I decide to meet up wth her she is pissed, I will try palm it off, be indifferent, but I find myself either riding it out, or having to soft next again because she won't drop it. Any ideas? Right now it feels more like a war of attrition. Whoever can ignore the other the longest 'wins'.

Author:	Absoliutas [ Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:35 am ]
Post subject:	Re: War of attrition
Had similar problem. The way I solved it was by saying how I feel and what I think. I was bored and pissed of these fucking stupid emotion mood changes and told her that it seems that we don't get along very well and we should have a break. She started apologizing and promised it won't happen anymore. Simple as that. But you have to be congruent and be prepared to next her if she doesn't change.

Author:	vhou812 [ Fri Mar 29, 2013 4:25 am ]
Post subject:	Re: War of attrition
Previous answer is right on the money. You're in a relationship and still playing fucking games. Come clean, tell it like it is. If she's a "good girl" she'll appreciate the honesty and the games should subside. If she is anything other than a good girl, you lose power, the games continue, and you have what you need as evidence that you're better off without a girlfriend like that. Establish good communication on the subject and let her response dictate your future. Remember, whatever your girl does, other women do well too, and some of them are good girls who won't put you through that type of bullshit.

Author:	neo87 [ Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:01 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: War of attrition
What the above posters said. Be honest about it and if she doesn't appreciate that and work on it she may not be the girl for you.

Author:	kller [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:22 am ]
Post subject:	Re: War of attrition
I get this sometimes. I usually give her a few minutes to vent a little since she has been very emotional and crying during the next and needs a small emotional release when she sees me. She gives me the usual "you can't just run away when things get bad blabla" to which i explain that i want to keep the energy between us positive because spending to much negative time together is unhealthy for the relationship. And that if i can't manage to bring her into a positive state despite trying then i have no other option than to give her some space. Then i say we are together now and we are going to have a wonderful day together and im going to take you to do X and X then we are going to cook some dinner together its going to be fun. Then escalate to sex ASAP. The sooner you can escalate to sex the better. Sex literally fixes everything. But yeh if she STILL won't let it go then you need to next again its the only option. Not just another short soft next, but a loooong next for a week or two. You want her to go through the phase of "fuck him if hes going to ignore me" to "fuck is this relationship over?".

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Author:	PUA Kenny [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 8:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: War of attrition
Quote: Hey Guys, Recently posted about GF refusing sex. I did what was suggested. I pulled back and it worked, she is now way more horny. However I have this re-occurring problem. Have any of you guys experienced the following?: This weekend she gives me drama right before bed. I ignore her and go to sleep, next morning she is gone because she leaves before I do. I felt a soft next was in order and I've been 'ignoring' her. The thing is, and this happens most every time: She will just match me, she simply won't instigate, she will ride it out. It's like shes thinking 'fuck him, if hes ignoring me then I will ignore him' and this goes on and on. If I decide to re-initiate I receive more drama on why I was ignoring (which I will either palm it off and tell her I was busy, or I will eject). In which case the cycle repeats. If she initiates it's usually 'I need to speak to you' and if and when I decide to meet up wth her she is pissed, I will try palm it off, be indifferent, but I find myself either riding it out, or having to soft next again because she won't drop it. Any ideas? Right now it feels more like a war of attrition. Whoever can ignore the other the longest 'wins'. Hey Garmondo, I feel your pain. If you go back to my earliest posts on this forum, I went through similar shit with my LTR. My GF was always looking to 1 up me and out Alpha me and stuff. A relationship becomes a power play most times where 1 partner tries to jostle for power. It shouldn't be that way but that's how it is in this feminized world where women are now taught to be dominant and run over their men. Anyway, I have a powerful concept for you to try. It's called DTR: Definining The Relationship. Check out the video below of me explaining this powerful concept for LTR management. [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cwnvgSnx74[/youtube]

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