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Shows no affection
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Author:  l3tsp1ckUp [ Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:05 am ]
Post subject:  Shows no affection
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 months and its been going great. But a week before she left for Cuba she made an excuse that she couldn't hang out and then didn't call me when I told her too. Then when she left for Cuba i left her a big I miss you message but when she came back she just replied with "hey im back" or something subtle like that.. Then when we hung out I gave her her birthday present then the i missed you little speech and she did not say a word. at that point i was getting rattled and said if you have no input then leave my house. she stayed in my room and I said I want you to speak to me like a Boyfrend and not a friend. at that point she was kissing me and showing affection but still didn't say a word. When she left for home she sent a message saying "we can speak like friends too" and still showed little affection.. Feels like shes losing interest and i feel like if i cut off contact for a couple days i will lose her completely.. what should i do.
Author:  mikemight [ Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:33 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
Learn how to be affectionate to her and don't always treat her like a sex object either. You need to be a genuine person or a real man. She's giving all the affection because you are lacking in this area. You can't really learn this overnight either. Just start giving her hugs and kisses whenever you see her and not touch her other sexual parts. If you know how to make dinner, make it for her but not the kraft dinner stuff. Women are especially impressed if you can make a good dinner. Usually a dinner leads to sex. You need to treat her like a little princess, but not too overly dramatic being needy either.

She's already telling you that you aren't giving her any affection because it's mostly her that's doing the hugging and kissing.
Author:  l3tsp1ckUp [ Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
I think my post was a little confusing.. it was her who was kissing me when I was mad and its her thats showing ME little affection. I told her how much i missed her and loved her and I took her out to a surprise dinner right before that. I told her she needs to show affection, because I am constantly complimenting her and showing her affection though she shows little to none.
Author:  mikemight [ Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
Quote:
I think my post was a little confusing.. it was her who was kissing me when I was mad and its her thats showing ME little affection. I told her how much i missed her and loved her and I took her out to a surprise dinner right before that. I told her she needs to show affection, because I am constantly complimenting her and showing her affection though she shows little to none.
Nope it's you who's confused. Men give affection, while women provide unconditional love. That's their trait because they give birth to babies and only women do that. When women start giving you affection, it simply tells you that you aren't giving enough.

Affection is not like sucking tits and licking pussies. It's a little more romantic like making dinner for her, making her special and hugging, kissing at the appropriate times and giving her warmth and safety at the appropriate times through actions. It's a little art lost nowadays with modern culture. Complimenting women is good, but sometimes they think you are just wanting to get into her pussy by saying too much!
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Mon Mar 25, 2013 4:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
Lmfao. Another lame mightmike post.

l3tsp1ckUp, if she's being cold/distant and not showing you affection, it's in fact because she's losing interest as you pointed out. But notice how she became affectionate when you got mad at her? That's your incentive to start arguments. It could be that she's getting bored of you. So from now on, when she disrespects you, slam your fist on the table and don't take that shit. That's DHV and your way back to her becoming interested in you again. However, if you get mad at her and she still doesn't seem to give a shit, then there isn't much you can do besides cut her loose. After all, you don't want to start chasing her as you'll seem a lot more needy and that would in fact insure your quick dismissal.

If she wants to be friends, just be like "yeah cool no problem" then go pick up a ton of girls and make sure she sees this. That would ideally get her jealous.

Go get her bro.
Author:  mikemight [ Mon Mar 25, 2013 1:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
Quote:
Lmfao. Another lame mightmike post.

l3tsp1ckUp, if she's being cold/distant and not showing you affection, it's in fact because she's losing interest as you pointed out. But notice how she became affectionate when you got mad at her? That's your incentive to start arguments. It could be that she's getting bored of you. So from now on, when she disrespects you, slam your fist on the table and don't take that shit. That's DHV and your way back to her becoming interested in you again. However, if you get mad at her and she still doesn't seem to give a shit, then there isn't much you can do besides cut her loose. After all, you don't want to start chasing her as you'll seem a lot more needy and that would in fact insure your quick dismissal.

If she wants to be friends, just be like "yeah cool no problem" then go pick up a ton of girls and make sure she sees this. That would ideally get her jealous.

Go get her bro.
You are espousing an action of an angry boyfriend. Are you easily angered?

Cheers..
Author:  SirPounceAlot [ Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
Heheha...I see something others don't....she makes out with you and then, says we can talk as friends.....

Dude...I think you've got yourself a FWB possibility here. She wants the makeouts and sex...she doesnt want the affection, I'd take it. Keep her as a friend, and still hookup and have sex. Nothing wrong there.

I won't analyze where you're screwing up, I just wrote a 5 paragraph essay to the last thread in relationships I read...look at my posts and find it, it was posted 3/25/2013, it'll help you too, the advice I gave.
Author:  mikemight [ Mon Mar 25, 2013 2:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
Quote:
Heheha...I see something others don't....she makes out with you and then, says we can talk as friends.....

Dude...I think you've got yourself a FWB possibility here. She wants the makeouts and sex...she doesnt want the affection, I'd take it. Keep her as a friend, and still hookup and have sex. Nothing wrong there.

I won't analyze where you're screwing up, I just wrote a 5 paragraph essay to the last thread in relationships I read...look at my posts and find it, it was posted 3/25/2013, it'll help you too, the advice I gave.
Are you sure about that? He said, he wants her to speak to him like he's her boyfriend. To me that's begging. In my experience, women usually don't want a begging man (beta) to be her FWB; unless that's something new or she's so desperate for a fuck? :shock:
Author:  User13247 [ Mon Mar 25, 2013 3:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
Quote:
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 months and its been going great.
Wrong, you thought it was going great. But obviously, she didn't think the same way. For me, such differences signal a lack of communication.
Quote:
Feels like shes losing interest and i feel like if i cut off contact for a couple days i will lose her completely.. what should i do.
Going no contact for a while is a stopgap solution for being too needy (which I think you clearly are). If, however, there are also other problems that the two of you have failed to communicate about, going no contact may exacerbate the situation. A third possibility is that the damage is already done and going no contact would make no difference at all. So my advice, before deciding on anything, would be try to understand better what the problem is. Think about it: has she mentioned things about your behavior that bother her, when did/does she appear to get disinterested, did anything special (ostensibly unrelated to your relationship) happen to her recently, etc. There may be a more acute problem that needs to be discussed, but if you cannot think of anything, I would think going no contact for a while is the best way to go.
Author:  l3tsp1ckUp [ Mon Mar 25, 2013 10:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
alright so i went no contact for less then 6 HOURS, and she was in my hands like a puppy. but i was still tryna not show any emotion so when she left she was upset. her friends told me she was crying, which in my opinion is good because it shows she cares. now all i have to do is damage control and im set.
Author:  neo87 [ Tue Mar 26, 2013 12:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
OP, why did she go to Cuba? Is she Cuban/Hispanic or something?
The reason I ask is because it sounds like she just doesn't like when a guy talks mushy to her. The "don't speak to me as a friend" sounds like speak to me like you're my man. If she IS cuban/hispanic or a similiar ethnicty, this makes sense. I have some friends who only date latin women and one thing that they say is that you need to be dominant with them and not really give "affection" but more protector/masculine behavior to keep them. You don't need to start arguments to be the man.
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Tue Mar 26, 2013 6:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
Quote:
OP, why did she go to Cuba? Is she Cuban/Hispanic or something?
The reason I ask is because it sounds like she just doesn't like when a guy talks mushy to her. The "don't speak to me as a friend" sounds like speak to me like you're my man. If she IS cuban/hispanic or a similiar ethnicty, this makes sense. I have some friends who only date latin women and one thing that they say is that you need to be dominant with them and not really give "affection" but more protector/masculine behavior to keep them. You don't need to start arguments to be the man.
OP is obviously Canadian... Cuba is a popular touristic destination for Canadians.
Author:  l3tsp1ckUp [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 10:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
ended things with her, to immature.
Author:  n2thevoid [ Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
Quote:
Quote:
I think my post was a little confusing.. it was her who was kissing me when I was mad and its her thats showing ME little affection. I told her how much i missed her and loved her and I took her out to a surprise dinner right before that. I told her she needs to show affection, because I am constantly complimenting her and showing her affection though she shows little to none.
Nope it's you who's confused. Men give affection, while women provide unconditional love. That's their trait because they give birth to babies and only women do that. When women start giving you affection, it simply tells you that you aren't giving enough.

Affection is not like sucking tits and licking pussies. It's a little more romantic like making dinner for her, making her special and hugging, kissing at the appropriate times and giving her warmth and safety at the appropriate times through actions. It's a little art lost nowadays with modern culture. Complimenting women is good, but sometimes they think you are just wanting to get into her pussy by saying too much!

WOW, where'd you learn this from????
Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Shows no affection
Quote:
WOW, where'd you learn this from????
The guy's an idiot.
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