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| Long Distance nerves and expectations https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=159005 |
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| Author: | Jthesly [ Fri Mar 22, 2013 6:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Long Distance nerves and expectations |
Been in a relationship for almost 3 years and we are both graduating from college and moving away to different cities about 5 hours away from each other for work and grad school. My GF has become afraid of a long distance relationship and is not sure if it is going to work out and by being afraid of a breakup has put up a barrier to our relationship and is over thinking everything instead of just letting things go with the flow and see what happens. I asked her if we would both be in the same city next year what she would want to do and she said no doubt stay together, but the long distance and next stage of life is scaring her. In my perspective she is looking at it as we stay together there is a expectation and she is afraid that it will end bad. I would like it to work out however, I don't know how to make her let go of the stress and not worry about the situation so much causing the barrier. What is the best way to help her clear her mind and not let the stress ruin a great relationship? |
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| Author: | morket [ Fri Mar 22, 2013 8:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long Distance nerves and expectations |
Be romantic. Have sex and make promises. Everything she'd like to hear. Flatter her. Important though: is she scared of you losing interest? Then do what I said, it will help. Otherwise, what is she actually scared of? Anyway, u gotta keep contact. On SPAM if you have to. And there's gotta be hope of you being together eventually. U need to make her believe that. |
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| Author: | R.C [ Fri Mar 22, 2013 11:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long Distance nerves and expectations |
Some posters here will disagree with the post above. Just a heads up. I agree however,it's pretty much what you gotta do. Regardless...LD sucks.And trust me , as I speak from experience. LD WILL relentlessly destroy any relationship. No matter how perfect. So if it's gonna be LD for 1 year , 1 year and a half even(as I'm feeling generous today) , you might just make it.Barely. If it's anything longer than that , I won't pretend to be a prophet , but I'm pretty certain it won't end well. |
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| Author: | User13247 [ Fri Mar 22, 2013 11:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long Distance nerves and expectations |
I do not know why long distance relationships even qualify as relationships. It's celibacy. Anyway, I think you are completely right when you say this: Quote: being afraid of a breakup has put up a barrier to our relationship and is over thinking everything instead of just letting things go with the flow and see what happens.
Your girlfriend is right in expecting it to end, she is wrong in acting like that has already happened. They way I see it, you have only two options:1. Try to convince her to let go of her fear, go with the flow and see where it takes you. 2. Break up. I would try option one, perhaps even twice. Then I would let her know I'm going for option two. If anxiety for a break-up is a significant emotion in your relationship, then it is not a good relationship. |
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| Author: | Dr. Jones [ Sat Mar 23, 2013 9:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Long Distance nerves and expectations |
She will subconsciously lose respect for you if you agree to the terms of a LDR. Women in the movies love to be told, "I'll wait for you", but in real life, there is nothing that will kill attraction faster. One of you needs to move closer to the other person, and ASAP, or things will go south. If I was you, I'd put the option of an open relationship on the table. You're not being a pig; you're just being realistic that sure, you love each other, but you're also a man with physical needs that meet to be met. The beauty of it is she'll feel less likely to cheat if you do that because you're giving her permission to do what she wants. Your other option is to game her twice as hard and reap half the benefits. |
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