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| is she just confused? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=158858 |
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| Author: | bullshit_destroyer [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 3:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | is she just confused? |
Need some input -Been seeing this girl for about 6 months. -I'm 24 she's an 18yr old Asian girl I'd say she's a 7 or 8 (i know not necessarily a recipe for success) - not long after Valentines day she starts flaking on me - she acts like I'm crowding her but we barely even talk maybe see her once a week - i just moved to Philly recently so i don't have a good social circle yet. Either way here is my dilemma after having to soft next her a few times she keeps on flaking on plans. So i end it, she texts me apologizing pretty much. She explains she is stressed out with family. But she still has time for her friends...suspicious? So we kinda try to make things work. I end it again for the same reason. So last night she calls at 3am , i answer after second call. She asks to come over. She's shows up wasted. Next morning i get some, she leaves for work. She tried to kiss me goodbye and i hesitated before giving her a peck. Brother said she looked sad on her way out. So, what I'm asking is what do y'all think i should do? I plan on not texting her because she still acting distant and pretending like we don't have problems. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Quote:
I plan on not texting her because she still acting distant and pretending like we don't have problems.
Do that, if you fucked her good she'll show back up on radar!
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| Author: | mikemight [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
She's basically lost almost all interest in you and is deciding on how to dump you. Her emotions are bouncing like a ping pong ball, wanting to keep you or not. She's not happy, because she is a user and you are being used. Here's the deal. If your woman simply wants a caucasian guy (dating for preference), than you will be in somewhat of a trouble because she forced herself to like you because you are someone outside of her culture circle she couldn't get. Or she could be rebeling her parents to show them what she could do. Either way, you are her pawn in her own game and that the game is ending. Yes, girls can fake high interest level only to serve their game and plan. Or maybe she likes to try a different dick other than Asian. One day they have 100% in you and the next she's completely cold and distant. Soft next ONLY WORKS if she has genuine and non-fabricated high interest in you and raise it if somehow you lowered it. If you soft next her by being a challenge to her and yet it does not seem to improve and it keeps going down and down, that is your answer (she was never into you in the first place!). These girls play games early on already in the game by being a manipulator. Women should win multiple Oscars by being great actresses. Just move on and don't waste any of your time and money for any more free dinners on her. And don't think sex was great, because that's all she's got to keep hooking you. If she's not making you happy other than giving you sex, than she's not relationship material. Good luck. |
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| Author: | bullshit_destroyer [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:26 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Yeah, but i didn't fuck her all that good. I was selfish haha. Kinda wanted her to see my interest was fading. Idk she knows the sex is normally good. We've soaked the sheets to the point we have to change them multiple times |
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| Author: | mikemight [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 4:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Quote: Yeah, but i didn't fuck her all that good. I was selfish haha. Kinda wanted her to see my interest was fading. Idk she knows the sex is normally good. We've soaked the sheets to the point we have to change them multiple times
Yeap, they're great fucks aren't they. But if she can't make you love her for what she is then yes, it's a shallow kind of love and eventually will end. However like you said, I did miss all those women I used to get lucky in bed, sheets soaking wet with sweat and cum/pussy juices. |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 5:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Quote: Yeah, but i didn't fuck her all that good. I was selfish haha. Kinda wanted her to see my interest was fading. Idk she knows the sex is normally good. We've soaked the sheets to the point we have to change them multiple times
FWB list!
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| Author: | bullshit_destroyer [ Wed Mar 20, 2013 5:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Damn mike, you have a point. I'm just moving on, if she is into me she'll show it. The cultural thing kind of makes since though. |
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| Author: | andyredsox [ Thu Mar 21, 2013 6:31 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Why not try to talk to her? ask her what really bothering her, and why she acted that way? Because in a relationship, you cannot solve any problems if you let the pride control you. Your relationship will not work if both of you have nothing to do, by just waiting who will be the first to communicate with each other or not. |
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| Author: | Fly_Swatter [ Thu Mar 21, 2013 7:24 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Quote: Based on your story i wouldnt do a damn thing. If she chases you, by all means let her continue doing so even though it can be a bitch getting calls at 3am all the damn time
This.If you are planning more serious stuff with this chick, think about whether laying her occasionally is worth all the other drama surrounding her. Ignore mikemight. |
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| Author: | bullshit_destroyer [ Thu Mar 21, 2013 2:34 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Quote: [/quote
I have brought it up, but i try not to tackle it directly. Problem solving is a masculine trait, women are compatible of doing it but its not natural. Trust me, I'm fighting the urge to text her now. The girl is full of life. I've done the whole " i understand you're frustrated and stressed lately, but just think about whether you want me around cause I'm not feeling it" followed by telling her until she figures it out ill be doing my own thing . Instead of an answer though she shows up at 3am drunk. That's what really gets me. Hadn't heard from her since she left yesterday morning.
Quote: Why not try to talk to her? ask her what really bothering her, and why she acted that way? Because in a relationship, you cannot solve any problems if you let the pride control you. Your relationship will not work if both of you have nothing to do, by just waiting who will be the first to communicate with each other or not. |
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| Author: | mikemight [ Thu Mar 21, 2013 4:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Quote: Quote: [/quote
I have brought it up, but i try not to tackle it directly. Problem solving is a masculine trait, women are compatible of doing it but its not natural. Trust me, I'm fighting the urge to text her now. The girl is full of life. I've done the whole " i understand you're frustrated and stressed lately, but just think about whether you want me around cause I'm not feeling it" followed by telling her until she figures it out ill be doing my own thing . Instead of an answer though she shows up at 3am drunk. That's what really gets me. Hadn't heard from her since she left yesterday morning.Quote: Why not try to talk to her? ask her what really bothering her, and why she acted that way? Because in a relationship, you cannot solve any problems if you let the pride control you. Your relationship will not work if both of you have nothing to do, by just waiting who will be the first to communicate with each other or not. Breakup and make up is the woman's decision, because women do not think by LOGIC. They think by their feelings and emotions, so there must be some external factor that causes a drastic shift in her emotions. Either you are way too easy and needy or something else. Being drunk and so far is to drown that painful emotion that she feared. Must be something bad either you did or something else. My question to you is this, have you met her parents yet? Or had you been stalling from meeting them, because you fear they will not accept you? Since this is a cross cultural dating scenario, any possibility of race incompatibility suggested by her parents can sway her emotions away from you. Any thoughts? |
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| Author: | bullshit_destroyer [ Thu Mar 21, 2013 4:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
No, i haven't met her parents. But not because i hadn't refused or been opposed to it. She's never brought it up. The girl works almost 80 hrs a week, and i did too but I'm waiting on my next job to start. So we would only see each other late. Sometimes if i got put on night shift I'd go see her at work or she'd come by in the morning when i got off. So I'm not sure she's doing it to rebel against her family or not. On another note these have been some of my thoughts. I've read a lot about nlp and other pua methods. My job requires me to travel up and down the east coast, and it brought me to Philly. So I moved here. I haven't met too many friends. I get the feeling she feels like she's too big a part of my life. Like i focus my time only on her. But in reality the fact is I've been too busy until now to hot bars or discover the social scene. What are your thoughts on that? |
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| Author: | User13247 [ Thu Mar 21, 2013 7:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Some rampant misogyny here. Women are people too, you know. @bullshit_destroyer I notice that your focus is on staying with the girl. If that is indeed what you want, may I ask why you broke up with her twice? Was that just some manipulative power play? And you had to soft next her a multiple times? What did she do to deserve that? And why was it not an effective way to deal with the problem? |
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| Author: | mikemight [ Thu Mar 21, 2013 8:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
Quote: No, i haven't met her parents. But not because i hadn't refused or been opposed to it. She's never brought it up. The girl works almost 80 hrs a week, and i did too but I'm waiting on my next job to start. So we would only see each other late. Sometimes if i got put on night shift I'd go see her at work or she'd come by in the morning when i got off. So I'm not sure she's doing it to rebel against her family or not.
When you mentioned she came in drunk at 3AM however, that made this highly plausible. I have a feeling that she may be sneaking around with you behind her parents back knowing that they might not approve both your relationships and this time is coming up. Despite how our society had evolved over many centuries, racism still exist and can make interacial relationships difficult because ultimately, her interest level to her parents is always higher than you. No matter how many months or years you put into her, she will always side with her parents. But we are just speculating here. Best way for you is to keep no contact and if she calls you, just say "wanna meet?" If no, just leave it. Eventually you'll get the "let's talk" and you will know why you're getting the cold shoulder. Make sure to end it well with an Alpha frame and take it like a man. If she wants a hug and a kiss afterwards and is very affectionate, then you know for sure she split because she sided with her family and not because you became beta. It had happened to one of my friends. He loved her dearly but knew without the parents support, marriage will be very difficult. Like Romeo and Juliet. On another note these have been some of my thoughts. I've read a lot about nlp and other pua methods. My job requires me to travel up and down the east coast, and it brought me to Philly. So I moved here. I haven't met too many friends. I get the feeling she feels like she's too big a part of my life. Like i focus my time only on her. But in reality the fact is I've been too busy until now to hot bars or discover the social scene. What are your thoughts on that? |
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| Author: | bullshit_destroyer [ Thu Mar 21, 2013 9:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: is she just confused? |
@timo If i knew how to make this work i would. The reason i ended it is because every weekend she babysits her aunts kids in new Jersey so i don't see her, which is fine . But she drops contact with me. Now o don't expect constant contact, but damn... And she knows it irritates me ( which i shouldn't have let her realize) . So when she would get cold and distant i would to. Not on every occasion but a few times. I just feel if I'm not happy and she isn't willing to put time into me why should i waste it on her? I love the girl but it shouldn't be hard to you know? @mike Sounds plausible, and I'd like to think that. But idk. On one hand if i thought that was the case I'd feel like even more of a dick than I already do about the other morning. On the other this seems like something I'd think in an afc state of mind. But it does make since. Part of me says initiate contact but that's the part that is normally wrong. I feel a little torn on whether or not to follow my instincts. The girl has a real tough shell ( tattoos, a few piercings ) but you can tell its a facade. I just wish she wasn't so damn cryptic. |
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