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Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it up
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Author:  Neutrino [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it up

So I went on a match.com date and she was the first girl I could picture having a relationship with in a long time.

We had a great night out, dinner, drinks, and getting to know each other. By the end of the night she said she definitely wanted to see me again and I said ok, hopefully next weekend. She said that it was so far away and wanted to see me sooner, so we made plans to go out one night in the week.

Well between our first night out and our next plans, she told me her job had an event and asked me to come, or we would have to reschedule.

The thing is she knew I would probably still be working at that time, and also before we even met, she had gone out with someone else from match.com when I asked her if she was available that night she said she was busy.

So even though she offered to invite me to the event and also said she could see me the night before the event, I felt like maybe she wanted to reschedule so she could make plans with someone else that night.

I told her no to the event and that I wasn't free anymore for the night before (I didn't want her thinking she can "make up excuses" for why she can't talk or see me).

So stupid me, I sent her a text saying I thought she might be a little too young for me and that she wasn't being very trustworthy (a simple shit-test). And it was all downhill from there.

Everything else has been perfect, the date, the anticipation and conversations before the date, as far as first dates and compatibility it really was a great match. So after that text she was really upset and said it was ridiculous of me to say something like that and it was really a turn off because she says she didn't do anything to deserve it, which is true.

She ignored me at first, but I finally got through to her and we talked it out. BUT she won't make plans with me now, and says shes going to the event with her best friend.

I think all she needs is a little bit of space, but this is a girl I unfortunately made the mistake and don't want to lose any opportunity.

Any suggestions? This girl is a keeper, not a play date kind of girl. Thanks.

Author:  krular [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

Quote:
So stupid me, I sent her a text saying I thought she might be a little too young for me and that she wasn't being very trustworthy (a simple shit-test). And it was all downhill from there.
Wow, you shit tested a girl you met online because you were insecure that she might have been meeting her guys off the site. Instead of just being Alpha and winning her over.

This one is gone dude. Live and learn.

Author:  Neutrino [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

Quote:
Quote:
So stupid me, I sent her a text saying I thought she might be a little too young for me and that she wasn't being very trustworthy (a simple shit-test). And it was all downhill from there.
Wow, you shit tested a girl you met online because you were insecure that she might have been meeting her guys off the site. Instead of just being Alpha and winning her over.

This one is gone dude. Live and learn.
She's not gone, she just says there's no way I can take it back. She still texts me when she could completely ignore me or say to delete her number. Again it's not some play date alpha bs, she's just disappointed. How to get her out again is the question.

Author:  krular [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

Quote:
She still texts me when she could completely ignore me or say to delete her number.
Shes just being nice and keeping you as an option, nothing more. Once she finds someone else on the site, you will be gone for good.

Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

Quote:
This girl is a keeper, not a play date kind of girl. Thanks.
It's sentences like this that make me go WTF???

You only went on ONE date, and decided this is the ONE!?!
Quote:
The thing is she knew I would probably still be working at that time, and also before we even met, she had gone out with someone else from match.com when I asked her if she was available that night she said she was busy.
Yep your right, I think she's fresh as a flower too.
Quote:
So stupid me, I sent her a text saying I thought she might be a little too young for me and that she wasn't being very trustworthy (a simple shit-test). And it was all downhill from there.
Then you scold a chick you barley know, for making plans that don't involve you?

Flashing your big red needy flag already?

I can't believe she text you back at all!

Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

Everyone here is basically correct.

But let me ask you this... If she thought the same of you, do you think she'd be playing the little bitch she is right now? Do you think she'd say crap like "you can't take it back now?" She probably thinks of you as just another guy she got along with, but not someone she told herself "wow, HE is the one."

So, lick up your wounds and move on my friend. If she really likes you, she'll go get you when she sees you're moving on. But odds of this happening are maybe 1 in 5.

Author:  Neutrino [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

my bad she's the keeper "type". not necessarily the one. but you guys are right, thanks.

Author:  Neutrino [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

But let me get this straight. in order to keep a chick, be a douchebag, play games, and kiss her ass basically. is this the correct formula to be a winner?

Author:  mikemight [ Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

Quote:
So I went on a match.com date and she was the first girl I could picture having a relationship with in a long time.

We had a great night out, dinner, drinks, and getting to know each other. By the end of the night she said she definitely wanted to see me again and I said ok, hopefully next weekend. She said that it was so far away and wanted to see me sooner, so we made plans to go out one night in the week.

Well between our first night out and our next plans, she told me her job had an event and asked me to come, or we would have to reschedule.

The thing is she knew I would probably still be working at that time, and also before we even met, she had gone out with someone else from match.com when I asked her if she was available that night she said she was busy.

So even though she offered to invite me to the event and also said she could see me the night before the event, I felt like maybe she wanted to reschedule so she could make plans with someone else that night.

I told her no to the event and that I wasn't free anymore for the night before (I didn't want her thinking she can "make up excuses" for why she can't talk or see me).

So stupid me, I sent her a text saying I thought she might be a little too young for me and that she wasn't being very trustworthy (a simple shit-test). And it was all downhill from there.

Everything else has been perfect, the date, the anticipation and conversations before the date, as far as first dates and compatibility it really was a great match. So after that text she was really upset and said it was ridiculous of me to say something like that and it was really a turn off because she says she didn't do anything to deserve it, which is true.

She ignored me at first, but I finally got through to her and we talked it out. BUT she won't make plans with me now, and says shes going to the event with her best friend.

I think all she needs is a little bit of space, but this is a girl I unfortunately made the mistake and don't want to lose any opportunity.

Any suggestions? This girl is a keeper, not a play date kind of girl. Thanks.
You don't need to be a douche bag getting girls. That's a jerk attitude. She knows this.
Most women on Match.com or eHarmony.com are serial daters. Basically, they can date up to 7 guys in a week if they want to. That's the most efficient way of filtering you guys out, PLUS free coffee or dinner. So why wouldn't she be enticed not to do this?!?

On the first date, she had a really good impression of you and wanted a second date soon. This is actually a GOOD sign, because she is actually re-scheduling her other date meets on match.com to accommodate YOU! But then, your ego kicks in thinking that she's seeing someone. Yes she was probably seeing that guy, but because of you now, she WILL BE seeing that guy. You just let that guy win over you because of your needy and childish attitude.

Author:  vhou812 [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 4:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

Quote:
But let me get this straight. in order to keep a chick, be a douchebag, play games, and kiss her ass basically. is this the correct formula to be a winner?
You have a lot to learn about women and pickup with this post. That's not a slam, just meant to be a statement of fact. There is a difference between being a douchebag and a confident, alpha male who values himself.

A beta chump sends a girl who flakes a text message scolding her or saying anything about her flaking. And alpha male looks at a girl who exhibits this behavior and says to himself, if she is trying to get out of a date with me or pressuring me after 1 measly lousy date to bend over backwards for her, I am better off without this and I will chalk the date up to what it was, 1 fun night out on the town with some chick. Period.

Learn from this. You had 1 date. You had no business worrying about who else she is dating or when. The only thing that matters is that she asked you to do something you couldn't do or weren't willing to do. Don't apologize, don't act beta, and don't accuse her of being untrustworthy. Just accept the fact that you won't be doing anything at that event or that specific night, and if she wants to make it up to you or REALLY wants to see you again, she will make it happen.

Your best bet at this point is to not initiate anything, wait for her to approach you, which she may not do at all. Accept this. Don't sit around and wait for her. Find some other options and use what you've learned to increase your success with the others. You are not committed to her and she is not committed to you. You simply went on one date and enjoyed each other's company. Because you're not committed to each other, you can and should be dating other women as well.

Author:  Neutrino [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

Lol so I had a profile visit on another site I'm on and it was her. thing is it says her name is different and says she's bi. All the profile stuff was correct, job and everything. weird because when we were out she showed me pics of her instagram and of her family etc. I know which her real name is because I can look it up online. very weird lol

Author:  Neutrino [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

I am located in south Florida by the way, date I put this chick on blast??

Author:  Neutrino [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

she's denying it right now, will keep you guys posted too funny

Author:  Neutrino [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

aww she's crying at work now this shit be cray

Author:  Fly_Swatter [ Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great 1st date, she wanted to see me again, I screwed it

I doubt she's crying. Typical crazy POF women.

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