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Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how to?
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Author:  resistence [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 12:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how to?

Hey folks,

I was in a long distance relationship for about 1,4 years. I am 28, she is 25. Met her in a club and after a couple of sex weekends she wanted to be my girlfriend and after careful consideration, I agreed and it has been a blast since, wonderful, good, good times.

After 8 months she did something strange. My friends and we went to a club, good times, dancing, everything. All of a sudden she tells me: 'I am bored' while I am right in the middle of playing darts with my friends so I suggest her to dance with the other friends we are with on the dance floor. She starts crying and rushes out of the club. Note: We are in my town, she has no keys to my place. Nothing. I am like fuck, this is crazy, and run after her. She completely loses it but eventually I calm her down. Turns out she has been adopted, two times and struggles with that, her last boy friend treated her not good and now she wants to face those issues.

1 month later. We cuddle in my bed, all good, and out of nothing, she starts to cry again. She saw a wallpaper on my dekstop pc - they constantly change and are always covered by my chrome browser window so you only see a small part of the picture - the picture was just a random hipster girl pic on it. Note: The picture has been on my harddrive for ever and she must have seen it countless times. She asks me to delete all those picture, I tell her that there is no reason, she is above all those woman who can never amount to her.

2 month pass. We argue way more than before and she always starts it for dubious reasons. Generally speaking: There is something wrong but she wont tell me and I just cant figure it out.

---
Last weekend we were supposed to meet, I tell her to arrive at 6. She says she would want to come at 4 and I tell her I cant make 4 and 6 should be finde since we have four days of pleasure ahead of us. Huge fight starts on the phone, I tell its better to discus this face to face.

So she arrives at 7, no kiss, no hug, nothing. She is in tears. Guess she wants to break up. She says, and I quote, 'You never support me'. I go berserk, tell her how disrespectful her words are and ask for an apology. She apologies and so do I for not seeing her earlier on Friday. All seams good, we go out, only the two of us, we both agree that this was important for our relationship. She called her best female friend though, which I caught by accident, something like 'cant believe it, its all good, we are still together, I though I would be single by now'.

1,5 days pure happiness, in my arms she tells me how much of a good man I am and how happy she is to have me. I tell her I love her. She loves me too, she says. We make lots of plans for the next weekend.

On Sunday we wake up. It is our No-Sex-Day since we have A LOT of sex in our relationship. I introduced her to sex toys and made her squirt regularly, she never had that before. She wants sex but I tell her to get off, it is our NSD. She gets up, sees a part 'of the picture' on my desktop pc again and is complete silent. Tears in her eyes. We go for a walk as we had planned. Lots of accusations from her. I tell her it might be better for her to leave for today.

She says (without hesitation): No, its better when we never see each other again and end the relationship forever. I am shocked, turn around and cant say a word and walk away. She whispers: 'You only need to apologize'. We arrive at my place where she starts to pack ALL HER stuff, even her used tooth brush. At the door she says she regrets deeply what she just said and how very much she loves me but just cant be in our relationship. I am still shocked.

5 hours later she writes me a msg on Facebook how much she still loves me, she cant bear the thought of me ever falling in love with another girl and that she is sorry for not meeting my requirements to a relationship. She wishes me all the best and so on, and so on and that she the wants the relationship to end. She deletes me on Facebook and so does her best female friend.



This has happened two days ago I am still shocked, it all ended so quickly. What would you guys do? Every answer/tipp, means A LOT to me. Thanks in advance guys.

Author:  Valdemar1 [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 1:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how

Wow that sounds hard man, i don't know if i can see any thing to do?
i mean if you are over what can you really do?

and though it may sound hard i might be for the best, could seem like she is just not capable of being in a relationship like the one you were in, the long distance might have had an huge effect on this

i guess i can kinda identify myself with her, since i am in a relationship where is tend to freak out sometimes like she does, of couse in my head it dosen't seem as bad as the way she does it, but then again it is in my head.

i guess my point is, that she could not live with the way your relationship is, however she still loves you deeply and truly which have made it very hard for her. Maybe it is because you did not have the same opinion on how the relationship should be like or something?

hope everything works out for the best!! good luck

Author:  resistence [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how

She never has been in a 'normal' relationship, always long distance.

I asked her if we need to see each other more often but she said that is just fine so I dont really know what to do. I never said she needs to do this or that to be in relationship with me, things just worked out.

Author:  Volter130 [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 4:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how

On the positive side, she sounds like she really loves you. On the negative side she sounds a bit emotionally unstable to me. You never know what to expect with those type of girls man. Give her some space, maybe send her a message like "this is not what i want, but if you feel this is not for you, then i wont stop you." Then wait for her to contact you, and when she does, take things slow, but you have to have a conversation about what a relationship means to both of you, what are your expectations and what things would you like your partner to do more of to make you happier in the relationship.So i would say NC for awhile, let all her emotions settle down a little bit, then take it from there when she contacts you. But you may really need to decide if she is worth the emotional stress she is going to cause, odds are you are in a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Is it worth it? Ill let you decide.

Author:  Themagicalone [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 5:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how

Quote:
On the positive side, she sounds like she really loves you. On the negative side she sounds a bit emotionally unstable to me. You never know what to expect with those type of girls man. Give her some space, maybe send her a message like "this is not what i want, but if you feel this is not for you, then i wont stop you." Then wait for her to contact you, and when she does, take things slow, but you have to have a conversation about what a relationship means to both of you, what are your expectations and what things would you like your partner to do more of to make you happier in the relationship.So i would say NC for awhile, let all her emotions settle down a little bit, then take it from there when she contacts you. But you may really need to decide if she is worth the emotional stress she is going to cause, odds are you are in a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Is it worth it? Ill let you decide.
I can tell you OP that it is NOT worth it. You don't want to be in a relationship with a emotionally unstable women because she is always going to find some flaw with you or your relationship until the point you are completely submissive.

Author:  skills360 [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 5:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how

Quote:
Hey folks,

I was in a long distance relationship for about 1,4 years. I am 28, she is 25. Met her in a club and after a couple of sex weekends she wanted to be my girlfriend and after careful consideration, I agreed and it has been a blast since, wonderful, good, good times.

After 8 months she did something strange. My friends and we went to a club, good times, dancing, everything. All of a sudden she tells me: 'I am bored' while I am right in the middle of playing darts with my friends so I suggest her to dance with the other friends we are with on the dance floor. She starts crying and rushes out of the club. Note: We are in my town, she has no keys to my place. Nothing. I am like fuck, this is crazy, and run after her. She completely loses it but eventually I calm her down. Turns out she has been adopted, two times and struggles with that, her last boy friend treated her not good and now she wants to face those issues.

1 month later. We cuddle in my bed, all good, and out of nothing, she starts to cry again. She saw a wallpaper on my dekstop pc - they constantly change and are always covered by my chrome browser window so you only see a small part of the picture - the picture was just a random hipster girl pic on it. Note: The picture has been on my harddrive for ever and she must have seen it countless times. She asks me to delete all those picture, I tell her that there is no reason, she is above all those woman who can never amount to her.

2 month pass. We argue way more than before and she always starts it for dubious reasons. Generally speaking: There is something wrong but she wont tell me and I just cant figure it out.

---
Last weekend we were supposed to meet, I tell her to arrive at 6. She says she would want to come at 4 and I tell her I cant make 4 and 6 should be finde since we have four days of pleasure ahead of us. Huge fight starts on the phone, I tell its better to discus this face to face.

So she arrives at 7, no kiss, no hug, nothing. She is in tears. Guess she wants to break up. She says, and I quote, 'You never support me'. I go berserk, tell her how disrespectful her words are and ask for an apology. She apologies and so do I for not seeing her earlier on Friday. All seams good, we go out, only the two of us, we both agree that this was important for our relationship. She called her best female friend though, which I caught by accident, something like 'cant believe it, its all good, we are still together, I though I would be single by now'.

1,5 days pure happiness, in my arms she tells me how much of a good man I am and how happy she is to have me. I tell her I love her. She loves me too, she says. We make lots of plans for the next weekend.

On Sunday we wake up. It is our No-Sex-Day since we have A LOT of sex in our relationship. I introduced her to sex toys and made her squirt regularly, she never had that before. She wants sex but I tell her to get off, it is our NSD. She gets up, sees a part 'of the picture' on my desktop pc again and is complete silent. Tears in her eyes. We go for a walk as we had planned. Lots of accusations from her. I tell her it might be better for her to leave for today.

She says (without hesitation): No, its better when we never see each other again and end the relationship forever. I am shocked, turn around and cant say a word and walk away. She whispers: 'You only need to apologize'. We arrive at my place where she starts to pack ALL HER stuff, even her used tooth brush. At the door she says she regrets deeply what she just said and how very much she loves me but just cant be in our relationship. I am still shocked.

5 hours later she writes me a msg on Facebook how much she still loves me, she cant bear the thought of me ever falling in love with another girl and that she is sorry for not meeting my requirements to a relationship. She wishes me all the best and so on, and so on and that she the wants the relationship to end. She deletes me on Facebook and so does her best female friend.



This has happened two days ago I am still shocked, it all ended so quickly. What would you guys do? Every answer/tipp, means A LOT to me. Thanks in advance guys.

Women are not logical, some of them throw tamtrums and act up, when you fail to understand her and her underlying problem, i do not know what it is, but you should have identified it, and address it, you never did, and you don't even know what it is. I think she was trying to reach out to you(without saying exactly what the problem was) and you fail to recognize it, she got super frustrated that you never get it or got it, and left. I know is sounds crazy, but that is what i got from the story, if it was me, i would still be with that girl, since i would have identify the "underlying problem" which i bet to this day you don't even know what it is, i know cause you are posting, and you still don't know. You need to get her to open up.

Author:  resistence [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how

Quote:
On the positive side, she sounds like she really loves you. On the negative side she sounds a bit emotionally unstable to me. You never know what to expect with those type of girls man. Give her some space, maybe send her a message like "this is not what i want, but if you feel this is not for you, then i wont stop you." Then wait for her to contact you, and when she does, take things slow, but you have to have a conversation about what a relationship means to both of you, what are your expectations and what things would you like your partner to do more of to make you happier in the relationship.So i would say NC for awhile, let all her emotions settle down a little bit, then take it from there when she contacts you. But you may really need to decide if she is worth the emotional stress she is going to cause, odds are you are in a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Is it worth it? Ill let you decide.
Thanks mate. I will take things slow and wait for her contact me, no relationship ends because of pictures on a desktop.

Like skills360 said, I never managed to find the real reason for her frustation, for her drama, maybe I gave her too much attention, I asked her more than once what is _really_ wrong here. We never connected on this level.

What really happened here: She erased (!) me out of her life within 4 hours. I am sure she even deleted my phone number, everything, took ALL (!!!) of her stuff at my place. I mean, what the fuck?, I would have send her her stuff no problem and than in the night she calmly explains me on facebook that she loves me but cant be in relationship for reason she made up.

Author:  vhou812 [ Wed Mar 06, 2013 9:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how

Quote:
Quote:
On the positive side, she sounds like she really loves you. On the negative side she sounds a bit emotionally unstable to me. You never know what to expect with those type of girls man. Give her some space, maybe send her a message like "this is not what i want, but if you feel this is not for you, then i wont stop you." Then wait for her to contact you, and when she does, take things slow, but you have to have a conversation about what a relationship means to both of you, what are your expectations and what things would you like your partner to do more of to make you happier in the relationship.So i would say NC for awhile, let all her emotions settle down a little bit, then take it from there when she contacts you. But you may really need to decide if she is worth the emotional stress she is going to cause, odds are you are in a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. Is it worth it? Ill let you decide.
Thanks mate. I will take things slow and wait for her contact me, no relationship ends because of pictures on a desktop.

Like skills360 said, I never managed to find the real reason for her frustation, for her drama, maybe I gave her too much attention, I asked her more than once what is _really_ wrong here. We never connected on this level.

What really happened here: She erased (!) me out of her life within 4 hours. I am sure she even deleted my phone number, everything, took ALL (!!!) of her stuff at my place. I mean, what the fuck?, I would have send her her stuff no problem and than in the night she calmly explains me on facebook that she loves me but cant be in relationship for reason she made up.
Stop focusing on this. Face the truth and accept it. And from what I've read, the truth is that she has no business being in a relationship until she has her issues sorted out. Until then, she's just going to hurt herself and anyone who is in a relationship with her.

Focus on accepting that fact, get on with your life, and accept that the only way you will be together is if someday in the distant future, she convinces YOU that she has gotten past her issues.

Author:  skills360 [ Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how

http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php? ... oming-back

Author:  Volter130 [ Fri Mar 08, 2013 6:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girl says it might be over but she still loves me - how

Great link skills.

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