| PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| Losing my PUA mentality in a LTR https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=157716 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | ConcreteRose [ Sat Mar 02, 2013 6:09 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Losing my PUA mentality in a LTR |
Will try to make this short: Did a lot of pua stuff, read a lot, still not the greatest ever with women, but coupled with my good looks I can get consistent results. I just figured out that I lost track of my goal and that was getting a girlfriend and not just getting countless different girls. So I got this girlfriend. She was great, she understood me, loved me, was by far the most intelligent person I have met besides myself, etc. Only bad part was that she lived in another country, even though the flight was only an hour away. But she was worth it and I like my privacy anyway. Anyways, I was happy. But then I found out she had some severe issues. She could get depressed and angry out of nowhere. I've been deaing this with the past six months now. She also got upset at me that I never really gave up the PUA lifestyle. I don't cheat on her, but I still flirted with women for fun and to see if I still got it. Anyways, after she found that out, I tried to make things better. I stopped flirting, was really nice to her and all. I kinda returned to my nice guy persona, the AFC. And every time she broke up with me in the last six months I got her back. Because I know her, she doesn't really mean it, she just wants to break up because she is sad/angry. But I'm starting to get tired of this. And also, I'm starting to feel I'm losing my PUA skills. Like that I'm starting to get more boring, not be as entertaining. She has also gotten really sensitive because of her depression...which isn't really a great thing since my humor mostly consists of C&F en sarcasm. I just can't be/aren't the guy I turned into after I learnt all this stuff anymore. And I kinda miss it. I don't really know what I'm asking here, since I'm sure most of you guys think that I should just break up with her. But I don't want to take such drastic steps yet. Is there another way where I can still be her boyfriend, but also regain the PUA persona I have lost? |
|
| Author: | mikemight [ Sun Mar 03, 2013 4:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Losing my PUA mentality in a LTR |
Quote: Will try to make this short:
You can not use PUA skills in a LTR, because PUA is to raise "physical" interest level, which is why it works on girls for a quicky. The key to a successful LTR is to keep raising her interest level beyond the physical level into more of a spiritual level which PUA skills do not cover. This helps smooths out the bumps like you're experience now. Think Space Shuttle vs a single engine Cessna. They both will eventually fall to the ground, but one falls first faster than the other. Less soft next so to speak. LTR skills is used to keep only 1 girl. It showed you were not ready.Did a lot of pua stuff, read a lot, still not the greatest ever with women, but coupled with my good looks I can get consistent results. I just figured out that I lost track of my goal and that was getting a girlfriend and not just getting countless different girls. So I got this girlfriend. She was great, she understood me, loved me, was by far the most intelligent person I have met besides myself, etc. Only bad part was that she lived in another country, even though the flight was only an hour away. But she was worth it and I like my privacy anyway. Anyways, I was happy. But then I found out she had some severe issues. She could get depressed and angry out of nowhere. I've been deaing this with the past six months now. She also got upset at me that I never really gave up the PUA lifestyle. I don't cheat on her, but I still flirted with women for fun and to see if I still got it. Anyways, after she found that out, I tried to make things better. I stopped flirting, was really nice to her and all. I kinda returned to my nice guy persona, the AFC. And every time she broke up with me in the last six months I got her back. Because I know her, she doesn't really mean it, she just wants to break up because she is sad/angry. But I'm starting to get tired of this. And also, I'm starting to feel I'm losing my PUA skills. Like that I'm starting to get more boring, not be as entertaining. She has also gotten really sensitive because of her depression...which isn't really a great thing since my humor mostly consists of C&F en sarcasm. I just can't be/aren't the guy I turned into after I learnt all this stuff anymore. And I kinda miss it. I don't really know what I'm asking here, since I'm sure most of you guys think that I should just break up with her. But I don't want to take such drastic steps yet. Is there another way where I can still be her boyfriend, but also regain the PUA persona I have lost? Let me give you an analogy. PUA is a sprinter and LTR is a long distance marathoner. A sprinter trains for speed for a specific distance. If he tries to sprint the whole marathon distance, he'll have to sprint, stop, sprint, stop and then sprint. That's just the nature of things. Like a PUA. A marathoner runner, however, does not sprint but rather run at a steady pace over longer and longer distances. You can't use jealously to raise girlfriend's interest in a LTR. It's counterproductive, because one ingredient in a LTR is "TRUST" and "Integrity". The Soft next tactics work in the beginning of a committed relationship, but eventually you'll have to switch to good communication and viable actions to raise her interest level much higher, even into space. The skill of a marathon runner. But you have an issue here. It's a long distance relationship? Eventually, one has to be willing to move closer to demonstrate willingly to up the ante in the relationship committent. Are you willing to do that? |
|
| Author: | neo87 [ Sun Mar 03, 2013 5:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Losing my PUA mentality in a LTR |
Quote:
Let me give you an analogy. PUA is a sprinter and LTR is a long distance marathoner. A sprinter trains for speed for a specific distance. If he tries to sprint the whole marathon distance, he'll have to sprint, stop, sprint, stop and then sprint. That's just the nature of things. Like a PUA.
Awesome post Mikemight. Glad to see someone who doesn't believe in PUA tactics to maintain a relationship. A marathoner runner, however, does not sprint but rather run at a steady pace over longer and longer distances. You can't use jealously to raise girlfriend's interest in a LTR. It's counterproductive, because one ingredient in a LTR is "TRUST" and "Integrity". The Soft next tactics work in the beginning of a committed relationship, but eventually you'll have to switch to good communication and viable actions to raise her interest level much higher, even into space. The skill of a marathon runner. But you have an issue here. It's a long distance relationship? Eventually, one has to be willing to move closer to demonstrate willingly to up the ante in the relationship committent. Are you willing to do that? Yeah, viable actions and good communication are key. DHV stories and negs give way to being naturally ambitious, having a good lifestyle and being able to say and do what you want while having the real "value" backing you. To add another analogy, it's like using a fake resume to get a high profile. Sure, the first few weeks are going to be easy as it's orientation etc, but after that, if you cant put a presentation together you're gonna be fired. Sure you be able to study quickly and learn powerpoint, but your lack of public speaking skills will betray you. Eventually you're boss will realize you're not a good fit and axe you. My own philosophy is that one should only get into a ltr once they have internalized the concepts of game - you can't practice during the main event. I don't know why you would want to be in a ldr with a girl with severe issues so I can't comment on that besides saying to leave. |
|
| Author: | Unit [ Sun Mar 03, 2013 10:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Losing my PUA mentality in a LTR |
Bro, first of all you are more than enough and becoming more! your self esteem is shot from the abrasive manner of your relationship. I notice this because it just recently happened to me in my previous relationship. Realize there's no "getting back" the pua persona, if you had it before you still have it now, it's in you you just have to find it. And only way you'll find it is by being a pua again, gaming and picking up different girls for random awesome sex! There is no pua in long term monogamous relationships, make no mistake about that. You learned pua and utilized it for getting a girlfriend, cause you thought that's what you want. It turns out it's not. Decide what you want first. And as a side note. You girl dumped you cause she knew she could get you back. Dump him, have him chase me, feed my ego and hunger for validation, take him back and when I'm down I do it all over again. Next time she dumps you for nothing at all soft next her. She'll come running back in time with a new found respect for you. If she doesn't you're better off anyway |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|