PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Always assuming the worst
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=157348
Page 1 of 1

Author:  Valdemar1 [ Sun Feb 24, 2013 1:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Always assuming the worst

Okay so lately i have been having problems, and it dosent seem clear to me wether it is me who is wrong or the girl...

i have had the best relationship ever, and it is still really good (we talk about being together forever n stuff!)
But for some weeks ago, we had been dating for 2-3 months at that time, and then i saw pictures of ex boyfriend and my girl kissing, due to earlier trauma experience, it was really hard on me... before those pictures, i used to asume the worst, when she wanted to talk i was expecting a break up and when she was kinda closed by some reason, i was expecting her love for me had ended... now it is sort of worse, every time something doesn't go exactly like it does in my head, i get really paranoid and sort of drive my self crazy, like when she is sleeping and i kiss, she then like a reflect turn over and away from me, i then starts to assume she is awake and just dosent want to be kissed ..
funny part is that whenever she thens awakens or if it is another problem and i take it up with her, she then will get close to me and make sure there is no problem, and then i am totally relaxed and the problems dosent seem to bother me anymore... no matter how frustrated and sad i felt...

how do i evolve my self, is it my confidence level? is it because i am to nervous of a break up and just need to get more into other perspectives of my life?

Author:  User13247 [ Sun Feb 24, 2013 1:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Always assuming the worst

It is your self-confidence. I think it is great that your girlfriend supports you, but you must learn to deal with disappointments and challenges yourself. You already indicate that your thoughts at your 'weak moments' are paranoid, i.e. irrational. If you realize that a thought is irrational at the moment you have it, this will give you the control to change it into a more realistic and positive thought. This is a good coping mechanism, even if you are confronted with actual disappointments. Being able to cope with (supposed) problems yourself, instead of relying on your girlfriend for reassurance will also make you more mature, hence more attractive.

Author:  krular [ Mon Feb 25, 2013 4:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Always assuming the worst

I agree with Timo.

Also, you need to realize, nothing every really goes out you play it out in your head. The image in your mind is the perfect situation. Nothing will ever be perfect, it may get close sometimes but never perfect.

Author:  Valdemar1 [ Mon Feb 25, 2013 6:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Always assuming the worst

Quote:
I agree with Timo.

Also, you need to realize, nothing every really goes out you play it out in your head. The image in your mind is the perfect situation. Nothing will ever be perfect, it may get close sometimes but never perfect.
i dont think i fully understand what you are saying :)
can you maybe formulate it in other words?

Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/