My girlfriend has a tendency to talk to her friends when something bad happens between us, which didn't bother me at first because most girls do that... right?

I found out she talks to her friends about me in a bad way because once her friend threw out my jacket, I asked my girlfriend why it happened and she then replied it was because her friend was pissed off at the way I apparently treated my girlfriend. I accused of my girlfriend talking about our arguments to her friends, and making out as if she is perfect and I am the devil (her friends would look it like that anyway) and she never really denied it.

I told her that she shouldn't talk to them FIRST. I told her she should speak to me if there is a problem, because we are adults in a relationship, and part of that means working things out. I told her that she needs to tell me if she has a problem with something I've done, rather than keeping it in, then bitching about me. She's young and I am her first boyfriend. I know she can be naive about things sometimes and her talking to her friends is just a way of making herself feel better. She understood what she did was wrong and she said from now on she'll discuss things and become better at communication. She said next time we argue, she will sort it out with me and me alone. I know she will talk to her friends, I accept that, bui I don't accept her doing it in such a way that makes her look so innocent before even trying to sort it out with me.

That problem is now over and we've moved on....

However, the other day really took it too far, because we argued and she talked to a friend that I consider a friend as well! (I know this because, and this will sound bad lol, I saw a message on her facebook with my name on it, I had to click on it as I was way too curious and saw the whole conversation). I not only feel betrayed by my friend, since she told my girlfriend to dump me (I do not care about my friend though, I care about my relationship) so I am quite annoyed at my girlfriend. She talked to someone that I know... about me! That's just rude. I would never talk to someone that my girlfriend knows about her, would I? It was not innocent talk either. She was bitching about me, making me look terrible once again, making herself look innocent and it has really bothered me.

So my question is what should I do, and am I right to feel pissed off?

I've already brought this up with her and it felt like we got it sorted. And this time it's even worse because it's with a friend that I (used to) consider a friend! What could I do?

Your girlfriend sounds like a drama-queen. She also sounds like she doesn't treat you very well. I personally wouldn't tolerate a girl who was trying to poison my friend group against me. Hard next. I'm just too old to put up with that kind of stupidity. The alternative is to ignore it completely and not let it bother you. She thrives on the drama and she's not going to stop. There's not a whole lot of middle ground to work with on this one.

Just my 2 cents.

-Wolf

I respect your advice but I really don't think she did do it to create a drama... After all, she did not expect me to see what they said.

Just to let you know, she did not take her friends advice. This is something that was sorted out a few days ago, but has now come up again because I saw the message.

Listen to Wolf, read his post and quit trying to argue with something that is spot on. Whether she takes her friends advice is irrelevant. You saw a problem, you laid out your rules. She broke them. It's irrelevant whether she takes the advice her friends give or not. Just hearing "he's such an ass, you could do so much better" is just validation to her. It's the same thing as having guys slobber over her, or a million other ways to get validation. This is simple. You laid out how you think a relationship should go. If she cannot work within that frame, then you're just making your life harder than it has to be. You seem to be looking for reasons why you should tolerate piss poor behavior. Hard next her, maybe when she gets older and grows up some your relationship could be better. You won't help her do that by enabling her to not have to change.

I respect your advice but I really don't think she did do it to create a drama... After all, she did not expect me to see what they said.