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Please help me save this
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=156388		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  fitandalertbrain [ Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:44 am ]
Post subject:  Please help me save this
I met a girl on POF. She is everything I've ever wanted in terms of looks.

We have been on 6-10 dates in the last 6 weeks. Had sex 2 times. After the second time we had sex, she fell sick and was not able to see her for 10 days. We texted each other everyday about 50 times. Tonight I met her and clearly she was not into me. I made a few jokes and she never laughed at either one.

I am feeling hurt due to the following:
- I know very little about her. When I ask her questions, she gives me brief/incomplete answers and uses "I dont know" a lot.
- She rarely asks me questions. I have asked her when her birthday is and she has never asked me for mine :(
- She has asked me out only once.
- She has never paid for any date, not even coffee.
- She used to initiate conversations via text initially, lately she does not anymore.
- She has not kissed me anywhere on my body except for my lips but I have kissed her several places. :(

What should I do? How do I make her interested?
Author:  cmd [ Fri Feb 08, 2013 12:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Please help me save this
Next time post such stuff under "General Questions", this is relationships only...
There's many "methods" you can try by reading about them in this forum. However, I doubt it will help you.
First thing is: Change your mindset, that will take some time. Seems like you are trying hard to qualify yourself to her, stop that! She knows you are just one of these try-hards and that makes her bored.

She's gorgeous? So what! If that's your only criteria, you are automatically putting her on a pedestal.

Next time you meet her, tease her about how she's so distant.. Anything will do, tell her: "So it looks to me you haven't had sex in a while... (She'll be like WTF?) That's the only explanation I have why you are so grumpy. One of my female friends is in the same mood when she hasn't had it for some time"
You can replace sex with breakfast whatever man show her you have balls.
If she really is uninterested and cold, just tell her she doesn't seem like much fun and end the date. Tell her to give you a call when she's feeling better...

If she doesn't reply to your texts, go no contact and try other girls. Text her again in a week...

And don't ask boring questions. Don't make her feel like it's a job interview. Continue to be funny, pick stuff out of the environment. If u genuinly are fun and don't give a shit about her reactions, you'll do better. Be nice to her when she's nice to you. Ignore her when she's cold.
Author:  R.C [ Fri Feb 08, 2013 12:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Please help me save this
Quote:
- I know very little about her. When I ask her questions, she gives me brief/incomplete answers and uses "I dont know" a lot.
Call her out on it. "You really don't know much,do you?". Playfully though. Tease-like.
Quote:
- She rarely asks me questions. I have asked her when her birthday is and she has never asked me for mine
You're hurt because of that ?
Quote:
- She has asked me out only once.
That probably because she's used to guys being the ones doing all the work. Pull away a bit,see what happens.
Quote:
- She has never paid for any date, not even coffee.
I cannot even begin to understand why you would pay for her stuff. Does she deserve it ? Why ? cuz you had sex ? Please...You work your ass off every day (or your parents if that's where you get your $ from if you're younger) for that money. Fact that she's hot or has sex with you is by no means a reason to pay for her shit. When she PROVES her worth to you yeah,it's ok to pay for the occasional coffee.
Far as I'm concerned you're paying a sex toy that barely has enough life force to even answer a damn question with anything smarter than "lol idk"
Quote:
- She used to initiate conversations via text initially, lately she does not anymore.
Things tend to shift in one direction or the other when it comes to human relationships. Some get used to being chased and see it as 'normal'.Again,pull back here.
Quote:
- She has not kissed me anywhere on my body except for my lips but I have kissed her several places.
If you're sad about not getting a blowjob but going down on her then man up and demand it. Not in a "On your knees bitch. Time to fight the dragon" way. Be dominant , be male.Don't be afraid or either your sexuality or of asking for what you desire.

You're gonna have to be a little bit more specific on this last one if I misinterpreted your problem.


A'right , now here's my confusion. She's hot. Great. Her character ? nothing close to what you want. You have to understand that you can not CHANGE anyone. If you find a girl with a top model body and the character of a sloth you move on. If you find the perfect character and the body of a McDonald's addict ,yeah,you guessed it , move on.

Like I said,don't try to change people in what you want them to be. I suggested the pullback so you can definitively see if she's the type of person that has a default inaction setting and consequently if she can switch to action (as no one wants a relationship in which he does 99% of the work) OR if she's simply a lifeless zombie.

Either way,don't be afraid to walk away. Don't settle for less than you want.
Author:  cmd [ Fri Feb 08, 2013 12:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Please help me save this
R.C gives great advice, listen tho that stuff!
Author:  fitandalertbrain [ Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Please help me save this
Thank you for your response.

I mean literally what I said, I have kissed her on her neck, chest, boobs, etc but she has not kissed me anywhere else besides my lips. Her behavior forces the mentality "why is she not kissing me? She must not be attracted to me. What did I do wrong?" This results in loss of confidence.

Yes I can pull away. Thank you for the suggestion. Does that mean I should not text her back the next time she SMS's, "Hi, how are you?" For how long should I do this? How many days? We have texted everyday since we met.
Author:  R.C [ Fri Feb 08, 2013 3:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Please help me save this
Quote:
I mean literally what I said, I have kissed her on her neck, chest, boobs, etc but she has not kissed me anywhere else besides my lips.
Does she enjoy it when you kiss her ?Pay attention to her body language ? She's having sex with you...how can she not be attracted ? Maybe she has some sort of intimacy issue. What can I say ? the reasons are endless. Maybe she wants to be 'dominated' and you're not doing it. Only way you can find out is to try. Like I said,don't be afraid to express your sexuality.
Quote:
Her behavior forces the mentality "why is she not kissing me? She must not be attracted to me. What did I do wrong?" This results in loss of confidence.
You worry to much. Thinking things out is always good. Overthinking is an extreme and like all other extremes , it's bad.

There's a little vicious circle with cause and effect. You lack confidence because she seems unresponsive because you lack confidence because... Do you see where this is going ? you gotta brake through that.

Quote:
Does that mean I should not text her back the next time she SMS's, "Hi, how are you?" For how long should I do this? How many days? We have texted everyday since we met.
No. Pull away does not mean ignore. Text her back,not instantly though. Just lay off of her a bit. Don't initiate as often. Say you used to initiate once in the morning , once in the afternoon and once before bed. Now, you will initiate only once , say , before bed or whenever.

You're taking away some of the attention she's gotten used to and she'll start to wonder why that is. Eventually , she will try to get it back by getting more involved .

Do it for however long you feel like doing it. Until you're satisfied. Just be careful so you don't fall in extremes like ignoring her or relapsing to showering her with attention. Reward her efforts when she's doing good.


@cmd

Thanks ^_^.
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