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Freezing her out. Need to know next move.
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Author:  kevinsp [ Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Freezing her out. Need to know next move.
Here's the situation.

I've been in a relationship with a girl for 10 months. For the most part, things have gone fine with her.

The last month, however, has been a big rollercoaster.

After New Year's Eve, she is a bit aloof and tells me that she still thinks about her ex and doesn't think its fair to me. I don't say much about this. Then, a few days later, everything is fine and we have a great time.

I go over to her house a week later to help her with a homework assignment. As I am typing something for her on the computer, I look for a computer file with a previous assignment (need info from it for the current assignment). She is upstairs with her kid during this time. I accidentally open up the wrong file- this turns out to be her journal entry for December. In this journal entry, she says that she is thinking about breaking up with me in a few months. Also, she reveals that she is talking to some guy she met online.

I confront her about this and explain that it was an accident. She doesn't get too mad- after all the file wasn't marked as a journal entry. She explains that the guy she has been talking to is an online friend who lives in Illinois. She also points out that I have some female friends. As for the breaking up, she explains that the journal entry is just a way for her to work out problems. Then, she shows me a message she sent to the online guy telling him that she doesn't want to talk to him anymore because she wants to be with me. Finally, she shows me a journal entry in her handwritten journal (she has two) and this shows (in its last entry) that she wants to be with me and really committ to our relationship. I accept her explanation and we have a great makeout session.

Since then, she just seems to be giving a lot of mixed signals back and forth. She is either hot or cold. Two nights ago, I am at her house and she is totally distant. She is having a fight with her kid about something. So, I think that something is going on with her kid. I really should have just politely left. However, I go upstairs to hang out. She is rather hostile and says "Are you just going to stare at me?" I point out that she had an argument with the kid and maybe she is just stressed. Then, she goes ballistic, accuses me of being clingy, acting weird, etc. I just decided to leave at that point. She calls me a couple of hours later (really late at night, which is unusual for her) and tells me that she has been going through a rough time and that it has nothing to do with me.

The next day I have mixed feelings. Part of me is angry with her for using me as an emotional punching bag. Another part is just wondering what is going on. So, I write her a lengthy facebook message expressing what I felt was going on with all the mixed signals and such. I didn't beg or grovel for her but just put things honestly. At the end, I told her that we could either just get out of each other's lives or take a break.

She responds with anger by calling me and expressing outrage that I wrote this on a facebook message. For some reason, she thinks that facebook email is less secure than regular email. We get into a big of an argument over this and the conversation ends. Later, I text her that we need a break from each other. She texts back and agrees. I apologize for sending it on facebook. She apologizes for being aloof and standoffish.

So far, I haven't texted or called her. This weekend, I agreed to play some music for an event she is involved with. My plan is to play the gig and leave. I want to just ignore her for about a week or two. The ball is in her court.

Maybe later, I will just send a few friendly texts and see how that goes. If she is favorable, I might up the game and send some suggestive texts. Really, I am on the fence about this girl. On the one hand, the first 9 months were great. On the other hand, I just can't stand behavior like this.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Jan 22, 2013 6:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Freezing her out. Need to know next move.
Quote:
Maybe later, I will just send a few friendly texts and see how that goes. If she is favorable, I might up the game and send some suggestive texts.
This is not a freeze out.
Author:  Rough Operator [ Tue Jan 22, 2013 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Freezing her out. Need to know next move.
Next.
Author:  Themagicalone [ Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:45 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Freezing her out. Need to know next move.
Quote:
Next.
What he said, don't be her b$tch
Author:  andyredsox [ Wed Jan 23, 2013 4:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Freezing her out. Need to know next move.
That's a tough one but yeah... Next Please.

If it's something that bothers you, then go ahead and start being abundant.

Are you definitely sure that she's thinking of the ex? Or she just want to exit the relationship.

Some girls can't make up their mind.

You can,
Author:  sg777 [ Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Freezing her out. Need to know next move.
Quote:
Quote:
Maybe later, I will just send a few friendly texts and see how that goes. If she is favorable, I might up the game and send some suggestive texts.
This is not a freeze out.

You mean you actually have to stop talking to them? Novel concept! It works; left up your dress and grab your manhood.
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