Hi Everyone,
I'm probably pretty old for this forum at 35 but stuff that I learned here in the past has been a huge help to me to hook this girl..now I'm hoping you guys can help me again.
So, there was this girl who I became friends with at work - she had it all, looks, personality, body...oh and boyfriend. I worked my BUTT off to get out of the friend zone and rid of the BF and boy did it pay off - we became inseparable (I know..alarm bells) and she was a demon in the sack and this went on for 18months.
About 6 months ago she got a new job and this put a lot of demands on her time and she was making new friends etc... but I didn't recognize the effects of this at the time. All I felt was that she was getting distant but in reality she was just getting into her new role at work and enjoying it. Anyways, I had let my guard down bigtime - so I unconsciously started pursuing her with increasing txts, calls and email...classic AFC stuff...you all know where this is going...So two months ago I got the "I need a break" speech and that I was being needy....Fuck!! it was like a ton of bricks was dropped on my head!
So I backed off the communications but I didn't initiate no-contact (in hindsight this might have been better) - however, I continued to call/txt once or twice a week. It turned out that this was too much for her because she pulled away even further and started avoiding my calls (No need for abuse here guys I've beat myself up enough over this and I can now see the error of my ways). Two weeks ago, I called and told her that basically I felt that the relationship had gone to shit because I hadn't left her alone (I'm paraphrasing
) and that I wouldn't be contacting her again - she got a bit of a shock and said she was still processing everything and had been unfair to me for not communicating better. I was expecting LJBF but that didn't happen...which could be a good or a bad thing. Anyways, I told her that I felt we had a good thing going and we could work things out and if she was prepared to give it another shot then to call me.So I've gone into no-contact for the past two weeks, which is so fucking difficult. I know that things are pretty grim and that chances of success are low - but I got her before under challenging circumstances and I'm damn well going to try again. What I've learned about her is that she hates conflict/pressure - if she feels like I'm going to want to talk about this stuff or meet up she takes that as pressure and she'll run a mile.
Ok, so I need to figure out my next strategy and need all the help I can get. Here's what I'm thinking - if I get no contact from her after 1 month I'll call her and give her the LJBF speech - try to get into the friend zone and work my way back in from there. Alternatively, I can wait longer on no-contact but this makes me nervous because of the presence of lurking ex-bfs. Or should I contact her earlier..any suggestions or help would be really appreciated...I feel like I need to get her to make the next move but just don't know how to do it.
Thanks,
Lor