PUA Forum :: Went to a party with another girl, losing her ever since

Don't make a big deal out of it is my advice, otherwise you can flip into needy, chasing her mode. I know this all too well.

If she doesn't believe you it's her problem, don't keep endlessly apologising and stuff. She probably just doesn't want to seem like she'll forgive you too easily and let you walk over her.

If she was calling you all night, then why didn't you answer the phone? Or call her back at some point? Are you in a monogamous relationship with this girl? If not, then you should NOT have mentioned the other girl. If you WERE in a monogamous relationship with this girl, then you're not acting like it... which is confusing to her. You aren't leading the relationship very well, which is going to cause her to lose interest.

It sounds like you're creating drama.. is your girlfriend a freak?

Those are just my first couple thoughts upon reading your post. Moving forward, all you can do is wait for it to blow over and try to learn from this so it doesn't happen again.

-Wolf

Author:	Clive55 [ Thu Dec 27, 2012 9:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Went to a party with another girl, losing her ever since
I'll summarise as best as I can Some History My girl and I have been dating since June. We've been very happy and I love her and she's proven that she loves me too. I've found out twice that she's been getting secret lifts from her ex-boyfriend and some other guy and I called her up on the fact that she's been keeping these lifts a secret. She's apologised and promised me no more lies. We are both 18 and have just finished school. Incident Summary -Major party in our town on Christmas with international artists -I go to the party and so does My LTR -My LTR Partner bought a VIP ticket, I bought a normal ticket so I only saw her once -I get wet and as I go home to change some girl I was flirting with calls and tells me to come to her house party -My girl clearly stated that she doesn't like my connection with the girl, I went anyway without telling her -She calls me the whole night, I don't answer (I didn't do anything with the other girl) -I tell her where I was the next day via phone call, she acts unphased -She seems dodgy ever since. A bit distant and she's lost her excitement. Doesn't even respond to my SPAM messages as much as she used to. -I go to her house today and ask how she really feels about me going to the other girls party. She tells me she's OK with it cause I give her freedom too but she's still worried about the other girls visible attachment to me. -I re-assure that nothing is happening and we spend a tense day together. Kissing was awkward, touching was minimal and she didn't reciprocate. I feel like I'm losing her and I don't know what to do. I want to just ignore her until she gets over the incident. It feels like I'm the only one putting effort into the relationship ever since Christmas. How do I save us after this?

Author:	Rough Operator [ Fri Dec 28, 2012 12:40 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Went to a party with another girl, losing her ever since
Don't make a big deal out of it is my advice, otherwise you can flip into needy, chasing her mode. I know this all too well. If she doesn't believe you it's her problem, don't keep endlessly apologising and stuff. She probably just doesn't want to seem like she'll forgive you too easily and let you walk over her.

Author:	Wolfwoodd [ Fri Dec 28, 2012 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Went to a party with another girl, losing her ever since
If she was calling you all night, then why didn't you answer the phone? Or call her back at some point? Are you in a monogamous relationship with this girl? If not, then you should NOT have mentioned the other girl. If you WERE in a monogamous relationship with this girl, then you're not acting like it... which is confusing to her. You aren't leading the relationship very well, which is going to cause her to lose interest. It sounds like you're creating drama.. is your girlfriend a freak? Those are just my first couple thoughts upon reading your post. Moving forward, all you can do is wait for it to blow over and try to learn from this so it doesn't happen again. -Wolf

Author:	Clive55 [ Sun Dec 30, 2012 8:51 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Went to a party with another girl, losing her ever since
Quote: Don't make a big deal out of it is my advice, otherwise you can flip into needy, chasing her mode. I know this all too well. If she doesn't believe you it's her problem, don't keep endlessly apologising and stuff. She probably just doesn't want to seem like she'll forgive you too easily and let you walk over her. I sent her a final apology for spending the night with a girl she obviously has issues with me being with. She came around yesterday and we were back to normal but I sent her an SMS telling her to excuse my behaviour for the next few days as I'm having serious family problems. She hasn't responded after 12 hours. Quote: If she was calling you all night, then why didn't you answer the phone? Or call her back at some point? Are you in a monogamous relationship with this girl? If not, then you should NOT have mentioned the other girl. If you WERE in a monogamous relationship with this girl, then you're not acting like it... which is confusing to her. You aren't leading the relationship very well, which is going to cause her to lose interest. It sounds like you're creating drama.. is your girlfriend a freak? Those are just my first couple thoughts upon reading your post. Moving forward, all you can do is wait for it to blow over and try to learn from this so it doesn't happen again. -Wolf We are in a monogamous relationship and yes, I feel as if I created unnecessary drama. When I call her up on it she says I'm imagining things and reading too much into everything. I just feel a sudden power change suddenly. She is not a freak at all. Something that concerns me though, her ex was throwing a party a month ago and she went with a couple of her friends. The party entrance ticket with her boyfriends picture on it is still on her bedroom table. I don;t know what to make of it. Maybe I'm reading too much into things but i don't think its koscher for her ex-BF's pic to be lying around her room...

Author:	Slip n Slide [ Mon Dec 31, 2012 7:15 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Went to a party with another girl, losing her ever since
Here's the deal, bro, it's really simple. Whatever her behavior is now, it probably won't change very much. It might change a little, but its impossible to make someone change. So she has a photo of an ex, she went to his party, etc. You need to drop all jealousy on those issues. Jealousy hurts everything. If you aren't ok with the things she does, you need to find a new girl who is more faithful. Once dramatic, always dramatic. You cannot expect people to change their patterns of behavior. But if you raise your standards for things worth getting upset over (you allow your girl freedom from guilt, you do not judge her for normal behavior) then you can be happy. But if you do not accept what it is now, you have to find someone new.

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