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Great Girlfriend, But Interested in Another as Well
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Author:  Yoghity [ Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:32 am ]
Post subject:  Great Girlfriend, But Interested in Another as Well
I have an amazing girlfriend; she is very sexual with me, she is very loving, and we have been together for about a year and a half, but there is this one girl at my college (which my girlfriend doesn't attend) who has a huge boner for me. I'm very attracted to this other girl, and she has made passes at me. I don't want to lose my girlfriend, but I'm interested in the other girl as well.

When talking to the other girl, I asked her if she cares that I have a girlfriend and she said, "Idk yet.. but it doesn't seem to bother you." She's interested and that's great and all, but I've never been one to have a girl on the side.

I don't want to tell my girlfriend about the other girl because that is a sure-fire way of breaking up, which I really don't want to happen. We all have these urges for other girls and they aren't going to go away. My question is: what do you all think about this situation?
Author:  Yoghity [ Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great Girlfriend, But Interested in Another as Well
Also, as an after thought, please don't tell me things like "do this" or "don't do that." I'm a grown man and I don't need people imposing their way of life on me. I'm a leader, not a follower. I'm just inquiring on your thoughts and not your moral agenda.
Author:  tru3demon [ Sun Dec 23, 2012 9:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great Girlfriend, But Interested in Another as Well
I personally believe cheating is wrong. If you let your gf know that you want an open relationship and she agrees then go for it. But doing it behind her back is wrong and you know it. Tell her or don't cheat or dump her and go after new girl.
Author:  Mago812 [ Sun Dec 23, 2012 10:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great Girlfriend, But Interested in Another as Well
Quote:
I personally believe cheating is wrong. If you let your gf know that you want an open relationship and she agrees then go for it. But doing it behind her back is wrong and you know it. Tell her or don't cheat or dump her and go after new girl.
i agree...

but the fact is i'm nice guy on the inside, and the world is anything but nice.

I'd say go for it if you feel like you will regret not doing it. Why not have both? I know tons of girls in "happy" relationship, who go wild from time to time, so they are also not as pure as you might think.

But ask yourself, is your interest in this new girl only sexual or something more than that? If it's only sexual, and it's mutual, then you can have a fuck buddy. Just set the rules straight. Be careful though if you think this new girl might have feelings for you. Things could get messy and you might end up loosing your girlfriend.

Anyways, I would in no case just tell my girlfriend that i like some other chick, just for the sake of telling her. Tell her if you want to break up, or keep it a secret and don't tell her anything (whether or not you have/will have something with this girl)
Author:  vhou812 [ Sun Dec 23, 2012 11:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great Girlfriend, But Interested in Another as Well
Me personally, I've been down this road. I was married, had a great wife, but had those urges. Finally I acted on them, more than once. Finally acted on them with a woman who real made my whole world stop. Ended up in a full blown affair and found my whole life all fucked up.

Long story short, I'd never do it again. I now think that what I really want is to be able to tell my significant other anything. Including the kinky thoughts or feelings I have about someone else. I'm happiest with someone who can accept these things, and deal with them in a good way, like maybe a bunch of kinky sex, threesomes, or helping figure out why those thoughts exist.

In my case, I never told my wife those things because I was afraid of the consequences of sharing them. Sounds like you would be too. I found out in the long run that holding that shit in caused me a lot of being unhappy with myself because I knew I was better than that. If I had it to do all over again, I'd just have told my wife how I felt and let what comes of it come. Hindsight is 20/20.
Author:  Yoghity [ Mon Dec 24, 2012 2:02 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great Girlfriend, But Interested in Another as Well
Thanks for the input, guys. I really appreciate it. I ended up telling the other girl that I'd feel guilty about doing anything with her at the moment. She said she felt the same way. We agreed that perhaps in the future, something could happen, but she also said that "for now, a lot of tension between us."

That being said, I feel I could easily have this girl on the side and learn to live with it, but my guilt is what is standing in the way of me cheating. I wouldn't want to tell my girlfriend about it, if it was to happen, because I wouldn't want to hurt her. She is too sweet of a person and doesn't deserve that. I feel that having an open relationship is something that needs to be established at the beginning of the relationship along with boundaries. It's hard to mold a hard thing after it's been drying in the sun, so to speak.

Although I have already made up my mind, I'm still very curious about other people's thoughts. Keep them coming!
Author:  rainier [ Mon Dec 24, 2012 3:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Great Girlfriend, But Interested in Another as Well
Currently doing this. Just don't get caught. Haha.
Author:  Dr. Jones [ Mon Dec 24, 2012 12:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great Girlfriend, But Interested in Another as Well
Keep the girlfriend. If things fail with her, you know who to call, and it's not Ghostbusters.
Author:  vhou812 [ Mon Dec 24, 2012 6:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Great Girlfriend, But Interested in Another as Well
Quote:
Thanks for the input, guys. I really appreciate it. I ended up telling the other girl that I'd feel guilty about doing anything with her at the moment. She said she felt the same way. We agreed that perhaps in the future, something could happen, but she also said that "for now, a lot of tension between us."

That being said, I feel I could easily have this girl on the side and learn to live with it, but my guilt is what is standing in the way of me cheating. I wouldn't want to tell my girlfriend about it, if it was to happen, because I wouldn't want to hurt her. She is too sweet of a person and doesn't deserve that. I feel that having an open relationship is something that needs to be established at the beginning of the relationship along with boundaries. It's hard to mold a hard thing after it's been drying in the sun, so to speak.

Although I have already made up my mind, I'm still very curious about other people's thoughts. Keep them coming!
I would just add, if you have some feelings, it might be worth your while to tell your present girl about it. There are lots of potential outcomes, like maybe she will get insecure, and make life hell. But if that happens, it leads to a breakup with a girl who was pretty good, but not great.

She could also talk all this through and in doing so make you forget all the shit in your head, or better understand it.

Lastly, and best of all, she could be open minded and use her new knowledge about you to fuck your brains out and make it the most intense sex you've ever had, or maybe a 3some?

In any case, I can attest, dealing with the thoughts of wanting to put your cock in another woman is far easier when your woman knows about it and is just fine with knowing it. It's actually a form of intimacy and when you have a woman that appreciates that instead of fearing it, you've got a keeper.
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