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| Jealousy & LTR https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=153258 |
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| Author: | Thesocialbum [ Sat Dec 22, 2012 2:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Jealousy & LTR |
Hopefully my words will inspire, give enlightenment and clarity on this matter. Here are my thoughts, mainly on the topic of jealousy and LTR. Disrespect is not tolerated. Women will find themselves attracted to somebody else. That is normal. It has nothing to do with you personally. But that does not mean you should tolerate disrespectful behaviors. If she is not suitable and does not have LTR qualities, politely and calmly dismiss the relationship by saying “This is not a good fit” or continue the relationship without the expectance of a long term relationship. Jealousy is powerful. Jealousy causes low self-esteem (which can be contagious), which as an Alpha I will not sanction my game around creating low self-esteem in women, and for that reason I find I rarely will have relationships with women who are already broken from their past relationship experience. I find the solution to jealousy is to come to the realization, she has had sexual relations before you and after you she will continue to have sexual relations, that I am not special in any sense, believing that I am the Omega would be arrogant of me to think. I do not, nor will I ever own a woman, instead of trying to change her, see the relationship for what it is, ask her politely to dismiss those behaviors you deem disrespectful to you and if she continues then she is not a good fit for a LTR. Love is a very strong word that is misused so it can be very blinding. I say if you say you love someone and you are thinking of what you hope love to be, it can be damaging when things fall apart and the person you are with isn’t what you expected to be. So when you tell someone you love them, keep in mind what you’re really saying is “I will continue this relationship (or seek a LTR) as long as I feel respected by you and the terms we’ve agreed upon are met.” A relationship is not defined by sexual exclusivity; jealousy can create sexual exclusivity, but if the terms are that respecting the relationship is through sexual exclusivity that is a different story. My girlfriend still continues to give her number out to other men because of her attraction for other men, as an Alpha Male, I can say I do not control her, nor do I own her or will ever own her, I can continue the relationship but I will not pursue a LTR with my girlfriend. I will enjoy the benefits of spending time together, the sex, the gifts, the adventures, etc., but I will see it for what it is—she is not suitable for LTR status. There are many beautiful women in the world; I just happen to have an exclusive sexual relationship with one of them based on the terms of our relationship (friendship, partnership, etc.). I will continue to follow the terms I was asked to follow; out of my respect for her I will not stoop to her level, because I will always convey that I am LTR status. |
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| Author: | Gmorsik [ Sun Dec 23, 2012 6:42 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Jealousy & LTR |
Very good and informative exchange .. Thank you! |
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| Author: | Lambert [ Tue Dec 25, 2012 11:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Relationships are not difficult by nature, they are difficult because we cannot accept their natures. There are certain unchanging, sacred, and albeit gross truths that people will forever refuse to acknowledge regardless of how brazenly their attempts to lock them down get tossed to the curb. There is no cure for these maladies, no escape from their clutches, and ignorance is anything but bliss when you’re within the grasp of their articulations. You cannot stop her from cheating by being overprotective. What you can do is draw a line in the sand and tell both her and yourself that if she chooses to risk your relationship in that way, it’s over. But asking her “who are you going out with?” trying to keep her from hanging out with slutty friends, or butchering her with interrogative questions will never, ever prevent her from cheating. If a girl WANTS to cheat on you, she will find a way to cheat on you. You can try and maintain a healthy relationship, you can keep her interest level high, you can build a strong sense of trust, but you CANNOT impede on her freedom in a way that will proactively stop her from cheating. She will always, always, always, always be shit testing you. There is no “if we just past this one issue.” There is no “This is the main conflict of our relationship.” Don’t ask yourself “why is she ruining a perfectly happy moment?” Don’t ask yourself “we’re doing perfectly well right now, why did she have to bring that up?” There is one issue, and then the next issue, and then the next one, ad infinitum. There is no end. When you’re 95 and in your death bed, you will be shit tested. And god forbid god is a woman, it will continue thereafter. There’s always a risk she’ll cheat. Yes, if she sees you as the undisputed Alpha heavy weight champion, there’s little chance of real emotional cheating. But could she get drunk at a party, suffer from a split second of sexual attraction, and end up hooking up with a guy? Could her subconsciously driven crack-headed need for drama, that impulsive desire for that oh-so-wondrous chemical rush, make her do something she’ll regret later? Yes. So what’s the answer? Nothing. There is no solution to these, there is only the hope of coming to peace with them. You’re in a relationship and your girlfriend suddenly brings up some shit that happened 3 years ago? Don’t freak out. She says some completely illogical shit that makes less sense than a single penny? It’s ok. Embrace it. Let go. It’s been 5 years in your relationship and you find yourself getting more over protective because you’re afraid she might throw everything away? Let go. It’s not going to help. Life is a risk, love is a risk. There is no security. As long as you struggle for it, you will remain struggling for it. Entropy is the way of the universe. It is futile; the moment you STOP seeking utopia is the moment you arrive in it. Let. Fucking. Go. |
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