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Fucked up with girlfriend. Need help!
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Author:  MrNiceGuy248 [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 6:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Fucked up with girlfriend. Need help!
Hello fellow pua's. I've been lurking on this forum for a while now and decided to register :)

So here's my problem: I'm in a relationship for a year and 11 months now. But the relationship started off badly. She was subconsciously some sort of rebound I guess and when I kissed her the first date I also touched her breasts in the cinema. I also wanted to finger her but she wouldn't let me. But afterwards i started to have doubts and also told her that I kinda still loved my ex too. Basically i treated her like shit the first month. But afterwards it was better.

However, she developed a sexual trauma because of the cinema event (her own words) and this caused her to detest having sex with me. It resulted in having sex for the first time after being together for 6 months( she was a virgin) and then having sex once per month. We broke up after a year and 7 months because too much happened ( she also couldn't handle me having had a few ONS before we had met).

I desperately wanted to get her back and a friend of me who is in the whole pua thing got me over her, resulting in her wanting me back.

I took her back and it was all good. But after a while I started to become the nice guy again but also said things I shouldn't have said. (nothing very bad really, just things like talking about her birth control with friends present for example). This made her very mad and she started to doubt me.

She said she also still has the trauma and refused sex with me. (When we got back together again we had sex after a month, that was the only time, it has been 2 months again since the last time). She even refuses going to my house because there would be opportunity to have sex then.

What can I do to get her back into me and get her to love having sex with me? Because I really do love her.

PS: her parents choose her side (ofcourse) and forbid her from having contact with me.
Author:  MrNiceGuy248 [ Sun Dec 09, 2012 11:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Fucked up with girlfriend. Need help!
Someone help me please. It's rather urgent.
Author:  MrNiceGuy248 [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 5:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Fucked up with girlfriend. Need help!
So we broke up. But we keep the sex so I guess we have become fuckbuddies now
Author:  Rough Operator [ Mon Dec 10, 2012 11:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Fucked up with girlfriend. Need help!
Drop her, she sounds seriously fucked up.

She developed a sexual trauma at the result of your natural human advances and refuses to go to your place as its an "opportunity to have sex?"

That's a red flag right there. She's got some serious issues and personally I would run for the hills and find someone less weird.
Author:  MrNiceGuy248 [ Tue Dec 11, 2012 11:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Fucked up with girlfriend. Need help!
Quote:
Drop her, she sounds seriously fucked up.

She developed a sexual trauma at the result of your natural human advances and refuses to go to your place as its an "opportunity to have sex?"

That's a red flag right there. She's got some serious issues and personally I would run for the hills and find someone less weird.
Yeah I know. But even the thought of her having sex with someone else and liking it is hard for me. Especially because she tried to avoid sex with me
Author:  smashthecrash [ Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Fucked up with girlfriend. Need help!
#1. Sexual trauma because you tried to finger her? SHhhyyeaah.... oookay.
#2. After you popped her cherry, still only sex once a month!? WTF?

I gotta tell ya, I was seeing this virgin for a couple months during the summer, and let me share it with you. And no, I never had sex with her. It took almost a month before I could successfully k-close, but after I did it was ON. About a month after that, I finally got her to come back to my place, and we spent about 3 hours doing nothing but getting physical. She eventually let me finger her, but I was never able to do more. I could tell that once she was 'deflowered' she'd be the kind of girl that would want to fuck ALL THE TIME. Your girl, I doubt she was actually a virgin when you met her. Because likely she experienced some kind of sexual trauma as a child, and has convinced herself that she is a virgin. For this reason, sex probably freaks her the fuck out, and doing it once a month was just to keep you happy. Think about it, have you ever been in a relationship where you couldn't get laid at least on a weekly basis? Even way before PUA, all of my relationships were almost DAILY, because girls LOVE TO FUCK (especially when you're good).

Hate to admit it but RO is probably right. If you really "love her" as you say, then becoming fuckbuddies will only prolong YOUR suffering. Trust me, I just went through the same thing, I couldn't control my emotions and couldn't imagine her fucking other guys. I eventually got more controlling and jealous and pushed her away again. Maybe you can handle fucking her from time to time, but like most breakups no contact is probably best. It doesn't sound like you were really happy with the (lack of) sex in the relationship anyways. If her parents forbid her from having contact with you, then they probably see something you don't - just lay off her. How old are you guys anyways?
Author:  MrNiceGuy248 [ Wed Dec 12, 2012 1:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Fucked up with girlfriend. Need help!
Quote:
#1. Sexual trauma because you tried to finger her? SHhhyyeaah.... oookay.
#2. After you popped her cherry, still only sex once a month!? WTF?

I gotta tell ya, I was seeing this virgin for a couple months during the summer, and let me share it with you. And no, I never had sex with her. It took almost a month before I could successfully k-close, but after I did it was ON. About a month after that, I finally got her to come back to my place, and we spent about 3 hours doing nothing but getting physical. She eventually let me finger her, but I was never able to do more. I could tell that once she was 'deflowered' she'd be the kind of girl that would want to fuck ALL THE TIME. Your girl, I doubt she was actually a virgin when you met her. Because likely she experienced some kind of sexual trauma as a child, and has convinced herself that she is a virgin. For this reason, sex probably freaks her the fuck out, and doing it once a month was just to keep you happy. Think about it, have you ever been in a relationship where you couldn't get laid at least on a weekly basis? Even way before PUA, all of my relationships were almost DAILY, because girls LOVE TO FUCK (especially when you're good).

Hate to admit it but RO is probably right. If you really "love her" as you say, then becoming fuckbuddies will only prolong YOUR suffering. Trust me, I just went through the same thing, I couldn't control my emotions and couldn't imagine her fucking other guys. I eventually got more controlling and jealous and pushed her away again. Maybe you can handle fucking her from time to time, but like most breakups no contact is probably best. It doesn't sound like you were really happy with the (lack of) sex in the relationship anyways. If her parents forbid her from having contact with you, then they probably see something you don't - just lay off her. How old are you guys anyways?
Thank you for the comment. First of all,let me explain the trauma part. I was the first person she ever did something other than kissing with. And after the movie I kinda told her I was doubting to get back together with my ex (which was a enormous a-hole move from my part). This was the thing that traumatized her. She let me touch her,because she loved me and thought we were already together, and then she hears that I'm doubting to get back to my ex. So I actually kind of understand her.

I'm now reading the book "No more Mr. Nice Guy" from Robert Glover and I could really identify myself with it. I'll try to work on it but it seems that mainly this so-called nice guy syndrome is the actual relationship killer. I was also a nice guy with a previous ex of mine, resulting in a lack of sex too.

About the parents: apparantly it was a defensive reaction because they saw her daughter cry and they actually don't really forbid the contact anymore. They know we talked and stuff and they didn't mind. They didn't even react when she said we broke up.
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