PUA Forum
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Nexting
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=151967		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  betablaster [ Sun Dec 02, 2012 11:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Nexting
So i nexted my girlfriend of a year relationship. we got in a argument she caused, i went over to her house packed up my things and said. "this isn't working out for me" she asked for her key and i left.

this was friday night. and i haven't herd from her at all.

totally not what i expected. seems like she isn't affected by it. how long should i wait until i completely wright her off and the relationship?

Im at the point to where if she contacts me and trys to make up then i know shes worth keeping around. if not its her loss. any insite would be appreciated. thanks
Author:  Andre2807 [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 11:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
Stop playing the blame game. You'll know when to bail and if she's treating you like sh*t, NEXT her.
Author:  betablaster [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
Not trying to play the blame game. i just want to straighten things out. or move on with my life.
Author:  User13247 [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 3:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
Write her off now and go out to meet other women. You'll be better off than waiting around for something that may or may not come. A plausible explanation for the fact that she hasn't contacted you yet, is that she started the argument because she wanted to break up but didn't dare do it herself. In that case, both of you are better off.
Author:  betablaster [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 3:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
Oh trust and believe i'm already trying to spin a few plates... not trying to wait for her at all. it would be nice if things worked out for us cause i care for her. but it is what it is.
Author:  vhou812 [ Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
Timo hit the nail on the head.

Sounds to me like it was clear to her by your choice of words that it is over. If it's over after a fight she initiated and she didn't react to your statements and actions within a couple days, then it is over and that may have been what she wanted all along. That being said, it is telling how mature and good of a girl a woman is if she resorts to tactics like this to end a relationship. Guys do it all the time, it's very common, mostly because it's hard to look someone in the eye and tell them the truth when they think or know it's going to hurt.

Good luck with the new endeavors.
Author:  betablaster [ Tue Dec 04, 2012 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
Update**

i called her she said she was really upset, feels rejected talked about "how i already made up my mind" and how i was so quick to leave her and how she feels like i dont lover her and care about her. i tried to talk with her about fixing our relationship but she just kept throwing it back in my face. i told her there is nothing i can do to fix our relationship if shes going to hold this resentment. and i told her i have to say goodbye. she said its not that easy for her. and i told her i cared about her and that i guess this is goodbye and hung up. she text me an hour later saying "i hope we might be able to be friends" i didnt text her back until this morning and asked her if i can meetup with her after work. she said "not today, tomorrow will be better". and thats where i am at now.

a few notes: she hasnt changed her facebook relationship status or remove any photos of us. she did however post a picture that says "so what do you do when somebody you're so devoted to suddenly stops loving you and it seems as if they havent got a clue of the pain that rejection has put you through" and she said "im lost.."

How the hell do i fix this? or is there no fixing it at all?
Author:  Mark_Eleven [ Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
Quote:
Update**

i called her she said she was really upset, feels rejected talked about "how i already made up my mind" and how i was so quick to leave her and how she feels like i dont lover her and care about her. i tried to talk with her about fixing our relationship but she just kept throwing it back in my face. i told her there is nothing i can do to fix our relationship if shes going to hold this resentment. and i told her i have to say goodbye. she said its not that easy for her. and i told her i cared about her and that i guess this is goodbye and hung up. she text me an hour later saying "i hope we might be able to be friends" i didnt text her back until this morning and asked her if i can meetup with her after work. she said "not today, tomorrow will be better". and thats where i am at now.

a few notes: she hasnt changed her facebook relationship status or remove any photos of us. she did however post a picture that says "so what do you do when somebody you're so devoted to suddenly stops loving you and it seems as if they havent got a clue of the pain that rejection has put you through" and she said "im lost.."

How the hell do i fix this? or is there no fixing it at all?


My own personal opinion here, when people start putting desperate, emotional drivel in Facebook you need to end it and not look back, EVER, your partner won't respect you if you do, they will probably think something along the lines of "he made me go through all this crap, and now he comes crawling back, ha!" I know a couple who were like this, it only ends up in a continual cycle of blame flinging, attention seeking bullshit MOVE ON DUDE!
Author:  cmd [ Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:39 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
Ok I'm looking at it from a different perspective... You've been together for a year right? The fact that she posted that stuff on Facebook for everyone to read, indicates that she does care for you a lot.

The initial argument might have been a test to see if you are going to stick with her. If a girl with LSE falls for you, she often needs to know you're gonna be there. This is a relationship and different from gaming randoms..

The little self esteem she had, you took away by cutting her out. While I think this was not a bad move in general, with low self esteem girls it is not always the best. The reason why I say low self esteem is, because she lets the whole world know she's very sad about the situation with you but does not make an effort to fix anything. And she thinks everything is lost as she couldn't believe you ended it that quickly.

Talk to her. Communication is key. Take it easy tho and don't be a wuss about it. State clearly what you feel but don't be needy. Do this only for a while, probably give it a month to try to fix it. If she flakes first, be cool with it and try again later. Don't buy her flowers and all that shit. Tell her you want to fix things but it takes 2 people.

If nothing changes, move on and cut all contact.

If it ever works out with her again, next time she acts up just tell her to contact you when the normal, good girl is back..

Personally I would stay away from low self esteem girls, but something tells me you don't want to and it's ok. You know the situation best and if she's a good girl generally, it's worth a try.
Author:  betablaster [ Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
im meeting with her today to tell her i fucked up, im going to tell her i made a bad decision over a stupid argument. ive had time to clear my head and i see now that i was too focused on protecting my own feeling that it allowed everything else to fall apart. im going to control my emotions and stay as relaxed as possible.
Author:  JuanAntonioB [ Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
you dug yourself your own hole here.

why would you do what you did and then expect her to come crawling back?

if YOU ended it, you should stick by your decisions.

now if you go back to her, she will resent you, and see that you have no backbone.

she will lose respect for you.

you say "she caused the argument".

bro let me tell you if you are unable to control the situation, handle arguments with demeanor, not be an angry impulsive little bitch, then you will never be able to handle women.

cuz women will always always always be driven by EMOTIONS. and you as a male should be driven by LOGIC.

if you stoop down to her emotional level, you are fucked
Author:  betablaster [ Wed Dec 05, 2012 10:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
SO what are you suggesting i do here? just give up? and walk away?
Author:  cmd [ Wed Dec 05, 2012 10:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
While Juan has some good points, I think give it a go. He is right in that it might be too late, but as a real man you can acknowledge your mistakes. Just don't make a big deal out of it.. Apologize once properly while holding strong eye contact, still be emotionally stable tho. The worst thing you can do is to beg her for anything.

Don't expect everything will be cool straight away, she might have to "think" about it.
If so, that's cool you let her think and DON'T contact her for a week at least.

1 year is a descent amount of time, so nothing's lost yet. Power's in her hands now, so TAKE YOUR TIME and don't beg for anything.
Author:  betablaster [ Wed Dec 05, 2012 10:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
Quote:
While Juan has some good points, I think give it a go. He is right in that it might be too late, but as a real man you can acknowledge your mistakes. Just don't make a big deal out of it.. Apologize once properly while holding strong eye contact, still be emotionally stable tho. The worst thing you can do is to beg her for anything.

Don't expect everything will be cool straight away, she might have to "think" about it.
If so, that's cool you let her think and DON'T contact her for a week at least.

1 year is a descent amount of time, so nothing's lost yet. Power's in her hands now, so TAKE YOUR TIME and don't beg for anything.
You do have any porblems with what i plan to say to her? if she declines and asks to be friends what do i say?
Author:  cmd [ Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Nexting
I think what you're going to say is good. Be open about it. Lead the conversation.
Just have the mindset that nothing is lost yet. Even IF she tells you the worst things, you still keep this mindset. Like Juan said, girls think emotionally and she might be saying something different in 5 days. With 1 year of relationship there will be a solid amount of attachment she has for you.

If she tells you to just be friends, tell her that's not what you want right now and you know that's not what she wants either. You can say you respect her decision but for you, friendships never worked afterwards.

So even if the outcome is negative today, still nothing is lost. That's the mindset you need to have:

1. She loves you and you know it
2. You are emotionally strong while you acknowledge your f#ck up
3. You are a good catch
4. You can walk away and know nothing is lost

Feel free to add stuff to that mindset list if it's positive.. And read this all over again and again before you go there. You really have to believe in it. Probably set aside half an hour and focus on your mindset.

DON'T MAKE IT AN ALL-OR-NOTHING DAY, just see this day as a little step to get her back.
But you really do have to walk away before you find yourself begging for anything
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/