PUA Forum :: Failed a shit test??

Ok so here is what has gone down. I have some mild acne, and my girlfriend of 8 months, now and then just asks me about it. I am not really insecure about it. I think I handle it well. And I feel slightly silly making a post about something so minor...

But the problem is, she ALWAYS asks about it, and it's really starting to bother me. I'm not being a baby. My acne is not that bad, its really mild, but its something someone could get insecure about, to be honest, my acne does annoy me, but doesnt upset me, and I NEVER show that I'm insecure... (as I know game hehe).

But here's what bothers me... it's the repitition of it!

Why does she ask me the same question again and again. She always says "that looks painful" then touches my face slightly. I think she's shit testing me, which is bad, because a girlfriend should not shit test as much as she does (if it is a shit test in the first place). Last night as soon as she said it, I got angry. I never showed it, I answered her back, which is usually "it doesn't bother me/ my skin is sensitive". Then I said that I don't feel like watching a movie any more, I'm tired, let's sleep. Then kind of froze her out. I know this sounds stupid but I guess this is what the forum is for. Any advice on what to say? what to do? do nothing and just man up a bit? Thanks!

She does comment on my body a lot, now that I think of it. I'm good looking (hope that doesn't make me sound vain), but I'm skinny, not anorexic but kind of skinny . And she is always saying how skinny I look. Like I said, not bothered at first, because I am quite secure, but when she keeps saying it, it starts to bother me. I also have a tiny scar on my back she moans about!

She is drawing attention to it because she thinks you could get rid of it if you really tried.

Not to sound like an asshole here, the painting of a girl with a shallow, clueless, narcissistic personality that is starting to emerge? Yes? I'm guessing she's hot and has been told so for a looonng time.

Mirror that BULLSHIT. Tell her how you have never noticed her light mustache before, the little bit of cellulite on her ass, or her crooked toes! She'll forget about any of your imperfections in a fucking hurry!

Quote:

She is drawing attention to it because she thinks you could get rid of it if you really tried.

This, I would suspect. I would confront her on it, it's the only way to find out.

Quote:

I guess I agree that it's a quick way to shut her up, but I don't like the thought of making her insecure in order to feel more secure yourself. A healthy relationship is not based on pointing out each other's flaws.

Author:	Zelda [ Tue Nov 20, 2012 2:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Failed a shit test??
Ok so here is what has gone down. I have some mild acne, and my girlfriend of 8 months, now and then just asks me about it. I am not really insecure about it. I think I handle it well. And I feel slightly silly making a post about something so minor... But the problem is, she ALWAYS asks about it, and it's really starting to bother me. I'm not being a baby. My acne is not that bad, its really mild, but its something someone could get insecure about, to be honest, my acne does annoy me, but doesnt upset me, and I NEVER show that I'm insecure... (as I know game hehe). But here's what bothers me... it's the repitition of it! Why does she ask me the same question again and again. She always says "that looks painful" then touches my face slightly. I think she's shit testing me, which is bad, because a girlfriend should not shit test as much as she does (if it is a shit test in the first place). Last night as soon as she said it, I got angry. I never showed it, I answered her back, which is usually "it doesn't bother me/ my skin is sensitive". Then I said that I don't feel like watching a movie any more, I'm tired, let's sleep. Then kind of froze her out. I know this sounds stupid but I guess this is what the forum is for. Any advice on what to say? what to do? do nothing and just man up a bit? Thanks!

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Nov 20, 2012 3:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Failed a shit test??
Quote: Ok so here is what has gone down. I have some mild acne, and my girlfriend of 8 months, now and then just asks me about it. I am not really insecure about it. I think I handle it well. And I feel slightly silly making a post about something so minor... But the problem is, she ALWAYS asks about it, and it's really starting to bother me. I'm not being a baby. My acne is not that bad, its really mild, but its something someone could get insecure about, to be honest, my acne does annoy me, but doesnt upset me, and I NEVER show that I'm insecure... (as I know game hehe). But here's what bothers me... it's the repitition of it! Why does she ask me the same question again and again. She always says "that looks painful" then touches my face slightly. I think she's shit testing me, which is bad, because a girlfriend should not shit test as much as she does (if it is a shit test in the first place). Last night as soon as she said it, I got angry. I never showed it, I answered her back, which is usually "it doesn't bother me/ my skin is sensitive". Then I said that I don't feel like watching a movie any more, I'm tired, let's sleep. Then kind of froze her out. I know this sounds stupid but I guess this is what the forum is for. Any advice on what to say? what to do? do nothing and just man up a bit? Thanks! It may not be a shit test at all. In her mind she may be just being compassionate. even curious abut it. Either way YOU are not comfortable with her bringing it up all the time, so you must display a direct low tolerance for this behavior. Make it clear to her that you are uncomfortable, with out anger, in a straight forward, low tone unshakable frame. Then reward her when she says she understands.

Author:	vhou812 [ Tue Nov 20, 2012 5:12 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Failed a shit test??
What is the rest of her personality like? Do you feel like she is shit testing you in other areas or only about this? If this really bothers you, then take Heywood's advice. Otherwise, I would turn it into something positive. For instance, if this doesn't bother you, and she says something like "it looks like it hurts" my response would be something along the lines of "it does hurt baby. It hurts so bad. Can you please kiss it and make it feel better?" Turn the subject into a form of foreplay or something positive and let it go. Sounds to me like your acne doesn't bother you, but that you are insecure that it might bother her because she brings it up. Her response to my advice will tell you if it bothers her in a "yuk I wish I had a guy without acne" way or if it bothers her in a "ooooohhh, my man has a booboo and needs me to tend to him in some way" Would this really bother you if she brought it up every night and her kissing it leads to you kissing her back and ending up in some hard sex?????? I didn't think so.

Author:	puaninja [ Tue Nov 20, 2012 6:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Failed a shit test??
Yea, I agree with the other posters. It's hard to say for sure. I doubt it's a "shit test". That term gets overused too much. It's either she is being empathetic, or she is drawing attention to it because she thinks you could get rid of it if you really tried. For instance, I know guys who had big ol' pimples on their faces that could easily be popped and cleaned out and left to heal, yet they just leave them there for weeks on end with bulging juicy white heads sticking out of their face. People without acne typically have a lower tolerance for that kind of stuff and that might be why she is saying "Looks painful...(WHY DON'T YOU JUST POP IT?!?)" Another possibility is that she is one of those people that talks with her eyes and doesn't think much about how other people will feel about her words. Her first thought when she sees your acne may be that it looks painful, and there might not be anything else to it. Although if she says that shit all the time I'd start to look deeper into her intentions.

Author:	Zelda [ Tue Nov 20, 2012 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Failed a shit test??
She does comment on my body a lot, now that I think of it. I'm good looking (hope that doesn't make me sound vain), but I'm skinny, not anorexic but kind of skinny . And she is always saying how skinny I look. Like I said, not bothered at first, because I am quite secure, but when she keeps saying it, it starts to bother me. I also have a tiny scar on my back she moans about!

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Author:	User13247 [ Fri Nov 23, 2012 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Failed a shit test??
Quote: She is drawing attention to it because she thinks you could get rid of it if you really tried. This, I would suspect. I would confront her on it, it's the only way to find out. Quote: Not to sound like an asshole here, the painting of a girl with a shallow, clueless, narcissistic personality that is starting to emerge? Yes? I'm guessing she's hot and has been told so for a looonng time. Mirror that BULLSHIT. Tell her how you have never noticed her light mustache before, the little bit of cellulite on her ass, or her crooked toes! She'll forget about any of your imperfections in a fucking hurry! I guess I agree that it's a quick way to shut her up, but I don't like the thought of making her insecure in order to feel more secure yourself. A healthy relationship is not based on pointing out each other's flaws.

Author:	vhou812 [ Fri Nov 23, 2012 4:56 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Failed a shit test??
Yeah, this clarifies some. Sounds to me now like she is in the beginning stages of feeling like she is better than you, worthy of someone with your good looks, minus the acne and skinny body and back scar. I don't think I would bring it up, that will only validate that it bothers you. Also not sure I'd neg her either. But I would think about beginning to illustrate that there are plenty of women out there who don't give a shit about a little scar on your back or the fact that you're not a musclebound ape. Perhaps a fun time with one of your female friends is in order? Nothing out of line if this a committed relationship, but if she is not available because of work or something, the threat of another woman getting your attention should put an end to this stuff pretty quick.

Author:	Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Nov 26, 2012 3:31 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Failed a shit test??
Quote: Quote: She is drawing attention to it because she thinks you could get rid of it if you really tried. This, I would suspect. I would confront her on it, it's the only way to find out. Quote: Not to sound like an asshole here, the painting of a girl with a shallow, clueless, narcissistic personality that is starting to emerge? Yes? I'm guessing she's hot and has been told so for a looonng time. Mirror that BULLSHIT. Tell her how you have never noticed her light mustache before, the little bit of cellulite on her ass, or her crooked toes! She'll forget about any of your imperfections in a fucking hurry! I guess I agree that it's a quick way to shut her up, but I don't like the thought of making her insecure in order to feel more secure yourself. A healthy relationship is not based on pointing out each other's flaws. The point is:Stop Rewarding Bad Behavior Learn To Set Boundaries Now!

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