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| What to do? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=149073 |
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| Author: | P1nkstar [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | What to do? |
Guys, I don't know what to do? Did I do something wrong here, i feel like my gf disrespected me. She's moving, and can't find a bed, she buys one, i promise her to help put it together. It doesn't fit (it was bought over the internet for not much money, so ok, bad fucking luck). It ruins her day, she has moodswings, is pissed, negative thinking, everything is wrong. Offcourse, i'm there to help her, she reacts aggregated on me, my bad there, i take it personally and we have a major fight, that was last week. No make up sex, since she's on her period. Yesterday, i reschedule my work for her, to drive with her to a store to get a cheap bed (she's a student and doesn't have much money). I drive her, and her friend there, the bed is sold out. Ruins her fucking day. We had a romantic evening planned, setting the bed up, and moving some stuff. In the way home, i ask her "how long is it going to take?", and i say, we'll move the stuff, and i'm going for a jog afterwards, and return to you. She says, "OK". She is major pissed, and was even pissed before i said that. We get the stuff from her room, move it. And i say "Let's bring it upstairs, so it's over", "No, i'm ok, i'll do it on my own." End of the night, not much said to eachother, she says, i'm going home. I'm like WTF, I fucking reschedule my work for you, i drive you 30 min ride, for a bed, i'm there with you 3 hours in the store, i move your bags, i called her after running to ask if i could do anything else. She says, she feels like i don't want to help her, and want to get it over as fast as possible, because i said, how long is it going to take? We talked for hours, but we kept going in circles, she blaiming me, i'm blaiming her. I'm not doing things if i don't like them. So her point is invalid, and she treathens me like shit. |
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| Author: | gtdave [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:28 pm ] |
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I don't have any advice for you but I'm interested in what people have to say about this! My girl also tends to get very negative during her period and everything is always so damn dramatic and "not going to work". She always asks loaded questions ect. Like you I do the whole loving bf, I'm here to help routine but I always feel disrespected after! I think it may be a subconscious attention seeking thing but I'm not sure. Usually I'd withdraw my attention with a freeze out but when a girl is getting all illogical and dramatic my gut instinct is to try and talk to her. This is because if I'm having a bad day then ill want to talk and vent to my friends/gf. |
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| Author: | vhou812 [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Your woman is on her rag. And apparently hers affects her this way. This is part of her deal, and if you're committed to her, you need to learn how to deal with it. That being said, she needs to be able to recognize that it is a contributing factor, if indeed she is not like this all the time. There are things these days that can help that sort of thing. My wife was like this, then got a Mirena put in. I could feel it during sex, but she stopped with the periods, and her hormonal issues that went along with it were reduced as well. It's up to you to decide what to do with this chick. If you want to stay, this is something you should help solve. Either by learning better ways to deal with these times of the month, or medically. If you don't think it's worth the effort, then cut the cord and make a clean break. But either way, in my view, it's worth it to do your best in a non-accusing way to explain that her hormonal issues detract from the relationship and you'd rather find a solution to that problem. |
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| Author: | qwe123 [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
she's acting like a bitch ignore her for a few days or somthing till she calms down and realises how she's being stupid. why should you help her to be treated like that. usually when my gf is on her period i just make fun of the fact she's on her period or if shes being totally irrational and then she starts to laugh too, so you could try that, tho it depends on the girl i guess is she usually pretty up tight or is she laid back? |
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| Author: | Wolfwoodd [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 8:38 pm ] |
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Why are you in a monogamous relationship with this girl? How invested are you in this relationship? Personally, I would not put up with this kind of behavior. Life is too short. My recommendation to you would be to start dating other women. However, if you're in too deep, then you'll just want to distance yourself when she gets in these irrational moods. If you stick around, then she'll start to subconsciously associate you with her negative emotions. The "I'm here to help" routine, as GTDave puts it, is only a good idea if it's a reward for good behavior. If she treats you like a king, then sure, help her with her crap. If not, then you really shouldn't feel obligated. Seriously though, I really don't tolerate girls who do this irrational pissed-off mood swing bullshit. My life is sooo much less complicated (i.e. better) since I made the decision to not get serious with these kinds of girls. Think on that. There are a lot of girls out there. -Wolf |
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| Author: | P1nkstar [ Fri Oct 26, 2012 2:19 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Why are you in a monogamous relationship with this girl? How invested are you in this relationship? Personally, I would not put up with this kind of behavior. Life is too short. My recommendation to you would be to start dating other women. However, if you're in too deep, then you'll just want to distance yourself when she gets in these irrational moods. If you stick around, then she'll start to subconsciously associate you with her negative emotions.
I'm invested, 2,5 year relationship. The "I'm here to help" routine, as GTDave puts it, is only a good idea if it's a reward for good behavior. If she treats you like a king, then sure, help her with her crap. If not, then you really shouldn't feel obligated. Seriously though, I really don't tolerate girls who do this irrational pissed-off mood swing bullshit. My life is sooo much less complicated (i.e. better) since I made the decision to not get serious with these kinds of girls. Think on that. There are a lot of girls out there. -Wolf I still feel like shit about the situation, 2 days later, and she's all fine again. Bed fixed in the meantime. I'm thinking now, "don't break up with her, she's a good girl", "it's only because of stress she acts like that", making up excuses in my head to talk her good. But I still can't be myself around her. Taking a break from it, feels like the right choice, but i'm not sure if i'm going to regret it later. I have a family dinner planned with her tomorrow, it's reserved, so she has to be there. I'll give it time untill tomorrow, any toughts? |
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| Author: | gtdave [ Fri Oct 26, 2012 2:32 pm ] |
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Do what you think is right for you! Trust your gut instinct!! Though if you have been together for 2.5 years then why don't you discuss it with her in a calm and mature manner! Don't blame her but instead explain to her how it makes you feel! If its something she can't change then you need to ask yourself "can I put up with this as one of her flaws?" Ps nobody is perfect! I talked to my fiancée about it last night and she was very open! She said its someting she cannot control too well as her period makes her somebody she is not! (My sis had the same problem). She said she would try and improve and I asked how can I help better when you begin to get emotional! Now in my case my girl treats me very well when she is not on her period so I decided that I can put up with it! These things tend to improve a bit the older the girl gets! |
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| Author: | SE23 [ Fri Oct 26, 2012 3:52 pm ] |
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Sounds similar to what happened between me and my ex. She was moody all the time, despite me making the majority of the effort, as it was long distance, and it was difficult to challenge her about it due to the circumstances. Challenge her about it, tell her "how you feel" If she keeps it up and doesn't alter her behaviour or seem genuinely apologetic about it, just start flirting with other women, and pick one, and dump the moody gf. It sounds harsh, but women don't respect you if you don't respect yourself, if it keeps up, she will either dump you for not being challenging enough or she will start cheating on you. Remember you don't have to be a nice guy to anyone, you are not going to be respected for it. |
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| Author: | Wolfwoodd [ Fri Oct 26, 2012 4:17 pm ] |
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It's really hard to give advice on a situation like this because there could be a lot of different things going on here. The 2+ year mark is when monogamy starts to get more challenging, because the endorphins start to die down at that point (unless you have kids or get married). I'm assuming this is new behavior from her? The best I can do is to give you advice that I'd give to anybody around the 2.5 year mark (my apologize if these do not fit your circumstances.. I'm not exactly sure of all the details of your relationship): 1) Increase the variety and frequency of your sexual encounters. People start to get bored around this time and let sex fall into a routine. Now would be a good time to get her to tell you about her latest fantasies, buy some new sex toys and/or act out some light bondage scenarios. 2) Increase the sexual tension. Make a point to show high value by being active with a social group of other high value people. Let your dominant tendencies show a bit more. Show her that you can walk away (i.e. soft next) when she starts behaving badly. 3) Stop compromising with your girlfriend at the expense of your own happiness. If her presence isn't making you happy, then cut down on how often you see her until her behavior improves. 4) Don't argue or fight.. if your girlfriend can't discuss things like an adult, then you need to leave until she starts acting like an adult again. In conclusion, you don't necessarily need to break up with her at this point. There are ways you can go about improving her behavior. After all, it COULD just be a fluke. Perhaps her body is going through a phase where it is producing more estrogen than normal. It's possible. Also, now might be a good time to explore things sexually and try stuff you haven't done before. Maybe have some really dominant, "screw her like you're paying her" sex (which can actually help bring out a girl's more submissive tendencies). -Wolf |
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