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| She's boring the shit out of me! https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=148994 |
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| Author: | Keep_Living [ Wed Oct 24, 2012 5:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | She's boring the shit out of me! |
Everything has become so fucking boring! 1) She has stopped hanging out with friends, 2) She was the State Champion in free throws (24 out of 25) and State Champ in tennis, now she doesn't exercise or want to do anything to be active. 3) We seem to have nothing to talk about in the last week or so... I think because she has nothing exciting going on in her life. 4) She's always available and i can name or schedule on any given day. 5) she constantly ask me about us and how much i like her and where do i see us going? Im starting to feel fucking trapped in!! ugh This is an awesome person Im not sure if its a phase or if i have become her sole source of happiness or what, but somethings gotta change, theres no challenge the fun is gone, her constant compliance has become monotonous and boring, I really like the girl were great friends but i don't even crave sex with this girl anymore. Yall know this feeling I'm talking about. Its a shame because she's really good to me but she was so high value at one time but now she's so complacent. I know i would miss her if we broke up but at the same time my gut keeps telling me she's not the right girl for you! She's not the right girl for you!! Is it me or her. Should i try to fix it since we get along well! I have a hard time breaking up because i want her in my life at a certain degree. Im feeling smothered and bored!! |
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| Author: | Heywood Jablowme [ Wed Oct 24, 2012 5:09 pm ] |
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Give her a "soft next" to see if YOU will miss her! The deceit in loving a woman sometimes, is that most women you fall in love with are an assumed personality, but eventually you must live with their true character. You need to dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy, for yourself! |
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| Author: | Melodical [ Wed Oct 24, 2012 5:20 pm ] |
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The personality change in your GF in that she has lost interest in everything is a strong indicator that she's suffering from depression. Has she stopped caring about her appearance too? if she has then she needs to see a doctor. I would't finish with her till the matter is resolved; doing so might push her over the edge mate. |
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| Author: | vhou812 [ Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:04 pm ] |
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Sounds like she has become emotionally dependent on you. You are the sole source of her happiness, therefore she needs constant validation from you to feel good about herself. It is not love, it is not good for a relationship. If she was an awesome person, she can be again. You need to decide if you're committed to helping her get back to the person you really like again, or not. You need to tell her this. Tell her you love who she used to be, not who she is now, and if you want, tell her you want to help her get back to who she really is. If she's receptive, then give it your all. Chances are she is depressed about something and just needs to figure it out. Depression and emotional dependency isn't a death sentence. Just a road block that needs to be navigated. Good luck. Attached is a link on emotional dependency. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/margaret- ... 69460.html |
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| Author: | puaninja [ Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:16 pm ] |
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Tell her you cheated on her as a shit test. Don't make it super bad, but construct the lie so that she feels ashamed and like it was her fault, but doesn't blame you like you were just being a horny bastard. Use that as the impetus for her to change. Drag out the lie if you have to, and bring it up again if she doesn't change. Like "See, this is what I'm talking about...why do you think you are driving me to see other people?" At some point down the road you can tell her that it was a lie but use the same excuse that the only reason you said it was because you were not happy with her behavior, which is actually true. Then if the relationship gets better after that, you won't have the black cloud of infidelity hanging over it since you never cheated on her in real life. |
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| Author: | User13247 [ Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:23 pm ] |
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Does sound a little like depression. Other possible signs of depression are: more (or less) eating, more (or less) sleeping, having trouble getting out of bed, sadness (obviously), listlessness, and feeling like there is no point to anything. However, don't assume a mental disease too quickly, let her do some tests on the internet first. And, if there is a reasonable indication that she might be depressed, make sure she goes to a psychologist for a real diagnosis. But whether she is clinically depressed or just sad, you could try to do something adventurous together, like a road trip. That might lift her spirits, and, more importantly, you spend some time with her while having fun. If that doesn't change things for you, I would agree with Heywood Jablowme and soft next to see if you still want her. |
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| Author: | Keep_Living [ Wed Oct 24, 2012 8:42 pm ] |
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PUANinja its not my goal to hurt this girl or make her beat herself up for something that never happened, I care for this girl and her emotional health and im not going to be deceitful to her in some kind of manipulative mindfuck. I feel it would be much better to either address the issue that im having or move on. Thank you everyone for the great advice, i feel that depression could be a big part of it given some tough life transitions she has recently encountered. |
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| Author: | Bodymixture [ Wed Oct 24, 2012 9:29 pm ] |
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Look compare you and her to your parents. are your parents depressed? look dude you are valuable - shes asking you " what are we"? as a statement of moving to the next level. its like your playing the game of life and she wants to know where she is on the board walk And the next level is both of you guys getting fat, loosing all your friends getting married having kids. happens to huge percentage of couples she sees you as an end game. you may want to look into something stupid like a promise ring if u still want her. but this is just a temporary fix you may also want to make her chase again so she doesn't get what she wants all the time because its seems shes won. that will put interest back into her life making her again more valuable you can do this by making yourself better. you listed a lot what she did. what about what you have done? have you kept working out, kept all your friends so on? made your self busy? you can also serve as a guide by doing things that both increase your value together. working out joining a social group whatever. |
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| Author: | phubu [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:21 am ] |
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Quote: Give her a "soft next" to see if YOU will miss her!
The deceit in loving a woman sometimes, is that most women you fall in love with are an assumed personality, but eventually you must live with their true character. You need to dedicate yourself to the good you deserve and desire for yourself. Give yourself peace of mind. You deserve to be happy, for yourself! What is a "soft next?" |
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| Author: | vhou812 [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 2:45 pm ] |
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I also would disagree with the ninja. Rules in relationships are different than casual gaming. You still have to maintain some things to keep a woman attracted to you after you have them, but largely the game changes the deeper you get into the relationship. If you care about her, then ask her probing questions as to why she feels this way, etc. It's likely that you pulling away feels like rejection to her, so that in and of itself is depressing. It will take work to make her see that her life not depending on you is not you rejecting, it's you asking her to be the person you really care about. Tell her that you being the center of her universe is a lot of pressure for you to live up to. Tell her if she is responsible for her own happiness, then the pressure is off you and you can just enjoy your relationship and time together without worrying about if you're doing enough to keep the other person happy. Instead, you can just both be happy together. It's likely a tough road, but if she's worth it to you, then it's worth the effort. Good luck. Keep us posted how things turn out. |
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| Author: | Keep_Living [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Haha bodymixture your response about getting fat, losing all friends, and popping a few out cracked me up! lol, typically thats true however i have have maintained a high value lifestyle, i go to the gym 5 days a week, take spanish lessons, read self help books, run, bicycle along numerous other hobbies and interest, i spend about three to four days a week with my girlfriend, I have all the same friends and still spend time with them every week. I think she is unhappy that I'm not investing enough. I make a good living, I live in a nice home, and I'm not a betamale chump so to her im probably ENDGAME for her. At 25 though that scares the shit out me. We will see. I think i need to nut up and break up because she's not the girl i want to marry. She's an awesome person I just don't think were awesome together. I want to spend the next years putting my effort toward growth of my business, and myself. I don't desire to get serious with any girl and in there lies the problem. Were wanting totally different things. Strangely enough i think scarcity of women in the town i live in keeps us together. I live in a city that revolves around oil and gas, for some strange reason there are very few attractive girls, call me crazy but its a phenomenon that most guys here would agree with me on. My theory is all the cute girls go to big cities and have fun why they are young and then come back when they are ready to settle down. That being said im probably too picky![/quote] |
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| Author: | dinomosin [ Thu Oct 25, 2012 4:26 pm ] |
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Quote: What is a "soft next?"
I wondered the same thing so I googled it at the top listing was from right here in this forum. Interesting reading. Below is the link...1-vt125554.html?start=0 |
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| Author: | Sidnne [ Fri Oct 26, 2012 3:18 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Boring is something that I just can't tolerate in a relationship. If you are bored, then it's a sign that this is not a person you should be with, because this is someone who is going to hold you back. This is not someone who is going to motivate you, or drive you, or make you feel alive. They are going to make you feel stuck, bring you down, and eventually put you in a depression. She may be a great person, but that doesn't mean she is a great person FOR YOU, and that it what matters most. Talk to her, tell her what is bothering you, that it is a problem. Be specific. Try to motivate her to change and to have a life outside of your relationship. But, be careful that you don't put so much into trying to change her that it sucks the energy out of you. Put a stop-loss on it and say to yourself "if there isn't a significant change by then I'm outta here." Ultimately, she is responsible for her own life and her own emotions, not you. Understand that: You ARE NOT responsible for her. You are only responsible for YOU. If she is dependent on you, then she will suck the life out of you. |
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| Author: | cmd [ Fri Oct 26, 2012 7:21 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Talk to her, tell her what is bothering you, that it is a problem. Be specific. Try to motivate her to change and to have a life outside of your relationship. But, be careful that you don't put so much into trying to change her that it sucks the energy out of you...
Listen to this guy! Seriously, Sidnne gives ALOT of quality advice!
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| Author: | CaliForniCatioN [ Fri Oct 26, 2012 9:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
There are two options: 1)She's depressed-I was once and it sounds close enough.(but it can be only a temp' dep' so don't go overboared with Doc's and shit-talk first.) 2)She's a very wise chick and is testing you as a serious partner for future more committing partership. She might be doing this on purpose to see how you respond and behave.(She most likely does that Sub-Consciously though as a Screening System) That's that-Good luck Chuck 
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