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| girlfriend tries to reschedule did i handle properly? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=148745 |
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| Author: | pocket_rockets [ Sun Oct 21, 2012 5:10 pm ] |
| Post subject: | girlfriend tries to reschedule did i handle properly? |
My girlfriend of four months and I made plans to chill today earlier this week. Today she texts me saying how her mom made plans with her for tonight and just told her even though her mom knew about our plans, and how she's sorry and will make it up to me. This pissed me off especially since her mom knew about our plans and was basically like "fuck that you're chilling with me instead". I call her and express to her how it's not fair for her mom to do this especially since we're both busy people and we put aside time to see each other. After a few minutes of her saying I put in her a horribly shitty situation and some awkward silence, she says bye and hangs up. Then she texts me something like "I'm going but I'm not happy so watch out". Then she texts again to confirm the time and place and it's done. Some background on her, her mom is very strict and she's ditched our plans in the past for her (not an excessive number of times but a few for sure). Even though she lives at home she's 20 and I feel like she needs to learn to stand up to her mom and make her own decisions. I did this for two reasons. First of all, I want to see her (obviously). Second, I feel like if I don't start doing this, she'll take my time for granted and think that she can disrespect my time without consequence. It's lose-lose for her cause she's either pissing off her mom or pissing off me. It's lose-lose for me cause I can either call her out on it (and risk pissing her off, which I did) or I can let it slide (again) and continue to have her mom dictate when we can chill. Did I fuck up or did I handle it well? And what would you guys have done? |
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| Author: | Snarg [ Sun Oct 21, 2012 5:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Oh come on. It's her fucking mom. That's like the one person who, unfortunately, has full rights to fuck over your plans. Obviously your girlfriend wasn't trying to disrespect you - it's just out of her hands. She lives with her parents, under their roof, and you need to respect that. I know it sucks for everyone involved, but sometimes you have to take a few bitch slaps in very isolated situations such as these. If it's not too late, I would call her and apologize for overreacting. Tell her to spend time with her mom so as to not cause trouble, and reschedule for a later date. Say it nicely and sincerely too. |
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| Author: | pocket_rockets [ Sun Oct 21, 2012 5:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks I did what you told me. It was too late though cause she already told her mom that she's sticking with my plans. She said something about appreciating the fact that I called but she's still not gonna be in a good mood.  I guess if it's not family, what I did would have been justified. But if it's family I guess I should back off. |
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| Author: | User13247 [ Sun Oct 21, 2012 6:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Perhaps also apologize to the mom next time you see her. I'm guessing she doesn't know you very well, and that skews her perception of you negatively. A negative image with parents will eventually negatively influence your relationship with their daughter, because her parents should always be in her life. As for your girlfriend, tell her you love her very much, but that you feel like you are competing with her mom for her attention. She will probably try to neutralize this feeling by reassuring you that this is not the case. That is good enough, you don't want an argument, you just want her to be aware of the way you feel at those moments. This will pop up in her head the next time such a situation occurs, and hopefully she will then decide differently. |
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| Author: | Sidnne [ Mon Oct 22, 2012 12:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
This is the danger of pua, and not internalizing your inner game. You listen to all this shit about being an alpha male, and setting boundaries, and how to handle flaking, etc. Then when something happens, you think to yourself "well, I've got to set my boundaries and let her know that I'm not happy with this blah blah blah blah..." You over-think and over-react and end up making even more of an ass of yourself when you try to fake masculinity. Forget about the techniques and strategies, and just work on internalizing the aspects of inner game. Once you truly internalize what it means to be a man, you won't have to worry about dumb shit like this anymore. |
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