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How to keep a relationship fresh from long distance ?
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Author:  SE23 [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 9:41 pm ]
Post subject:  How to keep a relationship fresh from long distance ?
I am in a relationship that has been going on for 7 or 8 months, with this girl which is very cool, we have had some long breaks from each other because she is from a different country, however she is now back in the same country, but lives in a different city. I don't see her a great deal anymore because she is a workaholic and it is a bit out of the way for either of us to see each other, let alone the cost of travel.
However she isn't needy and i am busy pursuing new hobbies and work in my life, so there isn't much conflict.

However i am still aware that this distance and lack of seeing eahcother can be a strain, and she is working with lots of high value guys and girls who are her colleagues, so i feel some extra pressure to keep up my value and not get boring.
How can i do this though ? any advice would be great ? or dates i could set up and do possibly.

Cheers
Author:  Mr. Gatsby [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 10:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is one of those situations where tonality is very important. That said, phone sex. See what you can get her to do, this is where some fun can happen! Thats all I got :) Have fun!
Author:  Clive55 [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 4:42 am ]
Post subject: 
*Phonecalls are probably gonna be your main form of contact then that has to be where you blow her away
*Make sure you have your voice game on lockdown
*Make sure that every call has enthusiasm and actually make her long for you more!
*Try your best not to give off the vibe that you are lonely and helpless without her by your side (this ruined my 2 year long-distance relationship)
*Sexual escalation is important so send her sexual SMS, voice notes or calls atleast once every 2 days.
*Enjoy your LDR and make sure she gets the vibe that you enjoy it
Author:  Phill-Rio [ Wed Sep 12, 2012 11:44 am ]
Post subject: 
i´ve lived a LDR with my ex gf (she was a model and use to live part time here in rio, part time japan, spain, italy, whatever) and it SUCKED a lot.

nowadays I´m kind of living it again. two years ago I´ve met the nicest girl I ever met. It was perfect, we chatted a lot, sex in the first date... she was visiting a friend here in rio, and she lives in the south a thousand miles from here.

in the next months she got back to her ex, I started a girl (that nowadays is my ex) and 6 or 7 months ago we started seeing each other again. And stills magic, why?

1- because we´re no boyfriend/girfriend so there´s no need to be jealous or complaining about the single life the other is living
2 - we see each other at least 1 time per month (1 month I go visit her, 1 month she comes to visit me)
3 - we SPAM each other almost every day

so in this way we´re present in each others lives, we´re not someone that just lives far away, we´re real.

I don´t have any clue what´s going to happpend in the future, but it is fun right now.

so if i have some advice: be present (SPAM, see each other, sms, SPAM), do not demand her to nothing and don´t allow you to me demanded (you´re both single, you both will fuck different persons too, don´t be silly and pretend that´s not going to happend) and AVOID reading each others facebook page because stress will be there.
Author:  d0minantsp3cies [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 3:45 am ]
Post subject: 
I was in a LDR for 4 months and it ended because it was hard not seeing eachother....if shes not coming back anytime soon, just call it off, its double the effort with half the results of a real relationship.
Author:  Dr. Jones [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 5:30 am ]
Post subject: 
You can literally hear the love draining from your relationship when you do long distance. Call after call, SPAM session after SPAM session.

When you eventually see each other, it's really passionate and I can't describe how awesome it feels. But as you make multiple visits, you have dinner and whatnot and if the visit isn't back-breakingly amazing, you both second-guess things. There's an expectation placed on everything you do to be AMAZINGLY FUN.

Whereas if you guys were seeing each other on a regular basis in the same town, if you have a ho hum night, who cares? You'll see her tomorrow or the next day.

Do what you will. You'll learn something either way. But I would never do it again.
Author:  SE23 [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 12:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the comments, yeah I'm going to see where it goes, I live in the U.K so its not a massive long distance and once i get into the habit of uni again we could probably manage to see each other a couple of times a week, which was what it was like when we were in the same city, because of work commitments. I was put out at first, because i got used to seeing her everyday when i lived with her in her country for a while.
To be honest this is my first relationship and I'm very laid back mostly, but I'm concerned that sometimes i am too laid back when it comes to things, so thats why i come on here of some advice :) its not like you can get decent advice from anywhere else.

In conclusion, make dates more exciting and enthusiastic, get on with your own life (which i do anyway) and take things one step at a time.

Peace
Author:  Boyo [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 2:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
One of the best bits of advise i know is this:

"To make a distant relationship work and last. You have to have a plan to end the distance. - If there isnt one in sight or near future. Why continue?"

Most people reply because she's the perfect girl... If that was the case you wouldn't have the distance part.

Secondly, why go through all that extra effort and cost to go see someone when i guarantee you there is another girl right round the corner.


"When you eventually see each other, it's really passionate and I can't describe how awesome it feels. But as you make multiple visits, you have dinner and whatnot and if the visit isn't back-breakingly amazing, you both second-guess things. There's an expectation placed on everything you do to be AMAZINGLY FUN.

Do what you will. You'll learn something either way. But I would never do it again."

- i completely agree and relate. I too went through it.

You mention this is your first relationship? - ill say bluntly, end it and go find a new girl. I guarantee you you'lll find a better girl/relationship thats nearby :P

Whatever happens, Good luck,

Boyo
Author:  ldon2203 [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 7:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
how often do you guys see each other?i don't think i could handle a ld-ltr because i'd be wondering what she's doing all the time and if she's cheating. do you wonder about those things at all?
Author:  SE23 [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 7:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
how often do you guys see each other?i don't think i could handle a ld-ltr because i'd be wondering what she's doing all the time and if she's cheating. do you wonder about those things at all?
Well she lives about an hour away but works a lot, and it varies, sometimes twice a week, sometimes once every two weeks. I suppose it isn't that long distance.
And about cheating, well to be honest, if they are going to cheat, they are going to cheat, it could be with the dustman who collects the bins every wednesday morning.
If anything i am more in a position to cheat than her, because i am surrounded by women at university all the time.
Author:  T.Sterling [ Sat Oct 27, 2012 5:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Since I sympathize with you, I'm going to try and give you at least some good advice if it's not too late.

Try your hardest to keep up contact. That is the most essential part of LDR's, because most of them are destined to fail. So set up times when you can both talk, and always be there during those times. Everything else you do is your choice.
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