PUA Forum :: . . . Exs, this shit is getting old

#1 - Things like this are why I always tell my GFs that their exes need to disappear. And since I do not care if it looks needy, beta, or whatever, it actually ends up being alpha, because I set the frame, and make my boundaries clear.

#2 - On to your specific problem. I see two potential options here
- a) she was uncomfortable with you and the ex talking (she did not introduce you as the boyfriend, did she?) and wanted to get you out of the scene with the water thing. you acted the "alpha male" way, defusing her attempt, and that pissed her off

- b) she was hoping you would get jealous with her talking for so long to her ex, trying to elicit an emotional reaction out of you. you did not do that, and she was mad. the water thing was just an excuse to pull the trigger.

if a) you might want to ask to yourself exactly what kind of vibe there is between your girlfriend and her ex. if b) you may need to provide some more validation and reassurance. are you still in game mode with her?

More then likely, this chick openly gets off on pissing me off. It's a fun little game we have together, this however is crossing a line.

If she is any good at pissing you off intentionally, I would dump and next.
My exGF was like that. She had the amazing power of pissing me off more than any other human being ever has.
It was not good.
I would get really mad at her, like crazy mad. One day over the phone I insulted her and her entire family. When it ended, my health benefited a lot.

Anyways, both of them happened to show up at her workplace at the same time. The former flame eventually asked, "So, are you dating anyone?" right in front of the boyfriend. She muttered nothing but an awkward, "Uh..." and looked at the boyfriend. "HIM?" He asked. The boyfriend did nothing but sit there and clench his fists

btw, I am curious to know exactly WHAT that girl said to save her relationship after such a feat of disrespect.

Author:	Mr. Gatsby [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 2:30 am ]
Post subject:	. . . Exs, this shit is getting old
So, go to visit my girlfriend and she takes me to a picnic with a bunch of her friends. Her ex is there and she starts feeling uncomfortable and wants to make it less awkward so she goes over to talk to him, leaving me alone with her friends. I talk and make jokes while she is talking to him for about 30 minutes. Finally she comes back over and introduces us, me and him share a few laughs blah blah blah. While him and I are talking she asks me for some water and I point over to a cooler and say, "There is a whole cooler full over there." She gets pissed. We get in the car to leave and we get into a bit of a match. She says something to me about being a dick with the water, I laugh and tell her exactly how little room she has to talk about me being a dick. Things get smoothed over. I start heading home and try to give her a call, she doesnt return my calls for about 4 hours and in which time she had a small conversation with her ex about exactly who I am and then hung out with her friends. The part where she didnt tell her ex who I am is just pissing me off. Thoughts?

Author:	TheSeagull [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 4:28 am ]
Post subject:
#1 - Things like this are why I always tell my GFs that their exes need to disappear. And since I do not care if it looks needy, beta, or whatever, it actually ends up being alpha, because I set the frame, and make my boundaries clear. #2 - On to your specific problem. I see two potential options here - a) she was uncomfortable with you and the ex talking (she did not introduce you as the boyfriend, did she?) and wanted to get you out of the scene with the water thing. you acted the "alpha male" way, defusing her attempt, and that pissed her off - b) she was hoping you would get jealous with her talking for so long to her ex, trying to elicit an emotional reaction out of you. you did not do that, and she was mad. the water thing was just an excuse to pull the trigger. if a) you might want to ask to yourself exactly what kind of vibe there is between your girlfriend and her ex. if b) you may need to provide some more validation and reassurance. are you still in game mode with her?

Author:	Mr. Gatsby [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 4:42 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: #1 - Things like this are why I always tell my GFs that their exes need to disappear. And since I do not care if it looks needy, beta, or whatever, it actually ends up being alpha, because I set the frame, and make my boundaries clear. I am going to start running by the same rules. They have to go. Quote: #2 - On to your specific problem. I see two potential options here - a) she was uncomfortable with you and the ex talking (she did not introduce you as the boyfriend, did she?) and wanted to get you out of the scene with the water thing. you acted the "alpha male" way, defusing her attempt, and that pissed her off She introduced me to him as her new boyfriend, when I am the dude that she bitched to him about before they got together. She didn't tell him who I really was until their one on one chat later. Quote: - b) she was hoping you would get jealous with her talking for so long to her ex, trying to elicit an emotional reaction out of you. you did not do that, and she was mad. the water thing was just an excuse to pull the trigger. More then likely, this chick openly gets off on pissing me off. It's a fun little game we have together, this however is crossing a line. Quote: if a) you might want to ask to yourself exactly what kind of vibe there is between your girlfriend and her ex. if b) you may need to provide some more validation and reassurance. are you still in game mode with her? Last night I got so pissed I told her to send back my dog tags and that if she wanted them back she could earn them. That what she did was the kind of disrespectful that I am just not going to deal with. We are talking today and I am keeping my cool if only barely.

Author:	TheSeagull [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 4:47 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: More then likely, this chick openly gets off on pissing me off. It's a fun little game we have together, this however is crossing a line. If she is any good at pissing you off intentionally, I would dump and next. My exGF was like that. She had the amazing power of pissing me off more than any other human being ever has. It was not good. I would get really mad at her, like crazy mad. One day over the phone I insulted her and her entire family. When it ended, my health benefited a lot.

Author:	Mr. Gatsby [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 5:04 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: If she is any good at pissing you off intentionally, I would dump and next. My exGF was like that. She had the amazing power of pissing me off more than any other human being ever has. It was not good. I would get really mad at her, like crazy mad. One day over the phone I insulted her and her entire family. When it ended, my health benefited a lot. Not like that, its more of a kinky game she likes to play. She how hot she can get me before I "put her in her place" as she likes to call it. However sometimes this little game spills over into the relationship and it gets bad!

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Author:	Dr. Jones [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 10:13 am ]
Post subject:
This reminds me of a situation I encountered recently. My friend was dating this guy, and it fizzled out. He didn't work, collected disability, and had no aspiration other than to play golf. So my friend started dating this other guy, who eventually became her boyfriend. He's actually hard-working and a decent dude, but he is more beta than not. Anyways, both of them happened to show up at her workplace at the same time. The former flame eventually asked, "So, are you dating anyone?" right in front of the boyfriend. She muttered nothing but an awkward, "Uh..." and looked at the boyfriend. "HIM?" He asked. The boyfriend did nothing but sit there and clench his fists. Point is, not a lot of women have had two men fighting over them at the same time. They know it could jeopardize everything, but they just can't help but be curious, just the one time, to know what it's like. And I was there later on to see the boyfriend get mad, and it wasn't attractive. Nor would it have been if he quietly kept it to himself, because he is still lying to himself by doing so. I can't tell that guy what I think he should do, because my loyalty is vested in the girlfriend after years and years of friendship. So I'll tell you: make it clear to your girl that she can enjoy that soap drama competition, but only for a few seconds, because you will walk away when she is at the peak of enjoying it.

Author:	TheSeagull [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 3:41 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Anyways, both of them happened to show up at her workplace at the same time. The former flame eventually asked, "So, are you dating anyone?" right in front of the boyfriend. She muttered nothing but an awkward, "Uh..." and looked at the boyfriend. "HIM?" He asked. The boyfriend did nothing but sit there and clench his fists maybe not all exes are created equal. but my dogmatic rule has yet to fail me. if a girl is not ready to let go of her exes, she is not ready for me. btw, I am curious to know exactly WHAT that girl said to save her relationship after such a feat of disrespect.

Author:	league [ Tue Sep 11, 2012 9:38 pm ]
Post subject:
this reminds me of what i said to one of my nutcase exs who always seemed to be trying to score points on me 'i'm not one of the guys you are used to dating who by your own words seemed to be terrified of you dumping them so would shit thier pants everytime you argued with them, you are with a proper guy now, if you ever manage to get a reaction out of me by playing your silly games it will be me dumping you' sadly she never quite got the point but if i'd of been like what she said her exs were like then i'd of been walked over

Author:	Dr. Jones [ Thu Sep 13, 2012 12:03 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: btw, I am curious to know exactly WHAT that girl said to save her relationship after such a feat of disrespect. The ex came back the next day and tried to get a job at that very place! She sat with me, the boyfriend, and another friend at lunch and told us he applied. She didn't tell the higher-ups, "Hey...this guy isn't to be hired. He's an ex- things could get weird." She just gleaned the attention. The boyfriend works there too! That's what it's all about: the attention. I know this girl, she would NEVER do anything behind this guy's back. So Hobbit is right: not every ex is the same and they won't all cheat. But my friend's current boyfriend went into silent, clench-your-fists-and-grind-your-teeth mode, and she will never forget that. Here was a possibility that the couple AND the ex would all be working at the same place, and he did nothing about it.

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