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Problem flirting
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Author:  musicandidol [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 1:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Problem flirting
Thank you all for the advices.
Author:  pumpington [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 1:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
ignore it, start flirting with other girls, flirting isn't cheating, fucking some other guy is, if she likes you she will be with you, if she is a cheater she will cheat, if she isn't a cheater she won't cheat

you just have to either trust her, or not be with her, trying to force her to not do something, or being possesive will often will have the opposite effect you hoped it would have

and it's sort of weird already that you are checking her phone and shit like some sort of inspector gadget or some weird shit

no matter what you do, if she wants to fuck another guy, she will be able to do so, whether you know about it or not, no point in stressing
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Why are you staying with a girl, that clearly hurts you?

Flirting with other guys oh well its human nature , and you shouldnt be worried

Sending txt to her ex "i love you?" Omg this isnt normal and do be naive at this point this should be really bothering and hurt you.

Meaning that if tomorrow her ex call her to go back together , she will dump your ass. If I ve seen this I would think damn im the second choice.

And if you dont think she will cheat you why go to her phone? Are you sure you are not feeling a bit insecure... because if you fel completly secure you wouldnt go checking her phone.

Just my thoughts.
Author:  Snarg [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
How is it not cheating if she's telling her ex she loves him? Dump the whore. Seriously. She doesn't value your relationship at all and it's better to end it now than have it hurt exponentially worse later on.
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
^^

I didnt want to be that rude... but yes dump her, trust me sooner or later she will do it, better to save you the trouble of more emotional baggage

But lets face you know what you should do... you simply dont have the courage and you are looking for someone here to tell you that is okay her behavior.

When she is in relantioship, she should only be telling I love you, to you not to her ex.

that she secretly want to be with him and not with you
Author:  dark one [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 8:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Conscious flirting is cheating in my books, there is innocent subconscious cheating, things your girlfriend will say or to do other guys and not even be aware of it, thing that she would do right in front of your eyes, such a flicking her hair ect ect....things that you should ignore and not worry about.

Then there is conscious cheating, things a girl will do behind your back, knowing that you would not be happy if you found out, things she purposely hides, and things she knows are wrong. This kind of cheating is a red flag, and is a disrespectful act! and should not be tolerated.

That being said you probably should not have gone through her phone and that will not help your case, but if your girlfriend had nothing to hide then she would have no problem with you looking at her phone.

If it was me I would come out and ask her "What do you consider cheating in our relationship? Is conscious, out right flirting considered cheating?" and see how she reacts, If she say no then you perhaps you should not be with this girl, if she says yes then she is a hypocrite, and you should call her out on her bullshit.

Be prepared for her to get super mad that you looked at her phone! she will go on the defensive trying to turn things around on your to make you look like the bad guy, stay calm and do not let this happen! reminder her that although you were wrong to look in her phone if she had nothing to hide it should not have been a problem and she would not be reacting this way.

Also be prepared to walk away! If things don't go your way then I would break it off...if she does not admit to it, or show remorse I would bail and tell her to have a nice life.
Author:  dark one [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 8:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
p.s I just was looking and did not realize she said "I love you" that is messed up! I would not even hesitate to call her out on this!
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 12:40 am ]
Post subject: 
de'nile ain't just a river in egypt
Author:  Furiox [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:33 am ]
Post subject: 
If she looked at your phone would she find anything she could get pissed about? Pics from other girls.. flirtatious texts, convo with your buddy about things you hate about your girlfriend....

When you type all this on your phone you KNOW it would hurt your partner if he/she found out so in a way this is disrespecting your partner but the reason people do it is because they think noone will find out!

You disrespect her privacy but only because you did not trust her. You were right and now that you know does it feel better? I think you rather did not check and still had faith she never texts with other guys but this is very dumb to think as girls get mad attention from boys when there over 15, if a guy says your so hot and we should chill sometime many girls will be interested and talk to him as it makes them feel good about themselves.

Find me a girl who would say fuck off i got a boyfriend and block the guy right away. I will marry her and make children with. My current girlfriend is pretty close to super loyal but in the back off my mind i know if things went downhill she could start texting with other guys. If this occurred and i would found out what you found out i would meet-up like normal and tell her this:

"Your a very good girlfriend and i love you to death but i would not expect this disrespectful behavior from you and i think i need to let you go because of it."

She will say: "What are you talking about?"

"I found out you still text your ex "I love you" even though you told me you were just friends... and are flirting with other guys behind my back. You mean the world to me but i will not putt up with this shit, it hurts me and i do not deserve that, have a great life".

Now you stand up and walk away without listening to what she has to say, she starts to cry 99% or gets mad but thats cool.

Update your relationship status to single if you were in relationship on FB and delete her from it. DO NOT TEXT HER/ ANSWER CALLS for a few days.

If she really loves you she will say sorry and things will work out between you and her but i got a feeling in 4 days she is back to her ex.



I know you will not dump her though because its the hard way and the easy way is to keep her and know she disrespects you, eating away your manhood/self respect but its okay cause she has some fine titties and pussy, plus i would have to find myself a new girlfriend...so its cool like this.

I told you what a man would do, now its up to you.
Author:  dark one [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 12:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Here is the thing. You looking through her phone was wrong, but its not as wrong as many would make it out to be...you should trust your gf, but if there was nothing to hide she would have no problem with you looking in her phone! I mean zero! I can honestly say I don't have a problem with my gf looking on my facebook or on my phone, she will see that other girls have hit on me but I have never once done anything wrong!, of course I don't want her snooping, mostly because I want her to trust me (I think I have earned it) but if she did I would not get mad at her. Tha being said If I had done something wrong than yes I would probably over react and freak out at her.

So is snooping in your gfs phone wrong? yes, but it should not be made out to be such a big deal, people over exaggerate the seriousness of this! and I know women very well! If you left your phone sitting around 9 times out of 10 she would have done the same lol

Now as for what you should do? I would confront her, tell her you checked her phone out of curiosity, and although it was wrong you should have been able to trust her but clearly you cant.

Will she go back to her ex? mabey....but if she does then she probably would have cheated on you any way budy, and your better off without her! but I don't see this happening, I think she will get mad for a couple days and then want you back.

The bottom line is she was flirting with not only a guy but an ex! and she told him "I love you" which is not ok at all!

Just remember you are the prize not her, you are above her ex, she messed up not you! yes you looked in her phone but so what? thats a small mistake that can be over looked, telling an ex "I love you" is a major problem!
Author:  dark one [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
p.s The first thing she will do when you confront her is to go on the defensive, this is what people do when they know they did something wrong and are caught of guard, she will get mad, probably try to make you look and feel bad about looking in her phone, she will think of some excuse "we were just joking around", don't feed into it, stay calm, stick to to the facts and agree that what you did was wrong, but not that big a of a deal.
Author:  Decessum [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
I´ve had this problem as well.
My girlfriend is a playful girl for nature, but only through facebook or text messages, what I mean by this is exactly what the OP, typed.
She talks with guys, and they invite her out, and she says yes, but she never actually goes. On the day of the meeting she makes up some excuse.
At first I found this to be very bothering, since it would make me lose trust in her, but then it started to slowly get off my thoughts, right now its a minimum bothering to me, it still bothers me a little, but I know shes not cheating. If she wanted to, she would do it, PERIOD.
Now, reasons why girls do it are a lot... some girls enjoy the attention, some girls like to give them false hopes, and then ripping them out at the very end ( this is mostly due to past psychological traumas)
Sometimes girls do it unconsciously, and it really means nothing to them :)
Now, the I love you to the ex is another issue you should adress.
Author:  dark one [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 4:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
There are only two reasons a girl is flirting with other men:

1# Your value is low an she is looking for the next guy to hook up with, she is just keeping you around as insurance until she finds that guy.

or

2# She has some kind of psychological issue, Poor relationship with her father, poor role models as parents, teased as a child ect ect....in this case usually the girl likes the attention she gets from men, Also these kind of women like to keep men around in case you break things off with them, they often always have a fear of rejection, in the back of their mind they feel you could leave them so they keep other men around as insurance, and to boost their ego's.

That being said there is no excuse! If she puts her self in bad situations which could cause her to cheat at she point after a few drinks she probably will. She might flirt with 9 guys who don't have a clue what they are doing, but the 10th guy might be smooth, he might know how to play with her emotions, and he might end up screwing your gf.

If I rob a bank and tell the judge "Its not my fault, I had a poor relationship with my father" do you think he would care? NO!

My point is that wrong is wrong, and men who make excuses for their gf's bad
behaviour are just fooling them self's! Do you think she would be as easy going as you are about this whole thing if you were flirting with your ex?

Don't sit back and try to analyse things to much, don't try to justify it for her, you have your own set of morals and truths in your life, live by them! If she did something wrong then she did something wrong period.
Author:  pumpington [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 5:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
this thread :( makes me sad

there is so much over thinking about a girl flirting, does anyone actually even go out?

you guys ever run into a girl who has a boyfriend, but is still touchy feely with you?, still friendly, still jokes and around and giggles, still loves it when you hit on her, but still won't go home with you, gives you her number, but still won't meet up with you?

nooo that's super rare *facepalm*... she must have mental problems or not like her boyfriend, or be looking for a way to cheat if she acted like that....

c'mon guys, get over it, girls flirt all the time, it's nothing new, it doesn't mean she is going to cheat, it just means she likes flirting and being validated by the opposite sex

now if a girl is actually meeting up with other guys alone, or going out to do suspicious shit (having random sleep overs at her ''girlfriends'' places all the time when she lives with you) , or acting weird when she has been up to something strange that she is trying to hide, like being overly compensating for something, or overly withdrawn... sure, look into it, where there is intent to cheat, there probably is a problem

but your girlfriend texting I LUV YOU :D, back and forth with some orbiter that she never hangs out with, or having conversations with guys that have absolutely no sexuality or intent to meet up involved, really doesn't mean anything, if you got some phone numbers from some girls with boyfriends you'd realize this, they are most of the time.... a giant waste of time (at least until they are single, or their boyfriend does something so terrible they want revenge via cheating)

just because you have a girlfriend, doesn't mean you own her, and seriously, if a girl wants to cheat, she will cheat, you can't stop it, and wagging your finger saying, don't you go talking to other guys or trying to cheat on me!! is really not going to help your cause, more then likely it'll just encourage the behavior, unless you threaten to leave her, and you better hold true on that promise, cause she just might test the boundary

you either trust her, or you don't

and if you don't, then you should break up with her
Author:  dark one [ Wed Aug 22, 2012 6:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
this thread :( makes me sad

there is so much over thinking about a girl flirting, does anyone actually even go out?

you guys ever run into a girl who has a boyfriend, but is still touchy feely with you?, still friendly, still jokes and around and giggles, still loves it when you hit on her, but still won't go home with you, gives you her number, but still won't meet up with you?

nooo that's super rare *facepalm*... she must have mental problems or not like her boyfriend, or be looking for a way to cheat if she acted like that....

c'mon guys, get over it, girls flirt all the time, it's nothing new, it doesn't mean she is going to cheat, it just means she likes flirting and being validated by the opposite sex

now if a girl is actually meeting up with other guys alone, or going out to do suspicious shit (having random sleep overs at her ''girlfriends'' places all the time when she lives with you) , or acting weird when she has been up to something strange that she is trying to hide, like being overly compensating for something, or overly withdrawn... sure, look into it, where there is intent to cheat, there probably is a problem

but your girlfriend texting I LUV YOU :D, back and forth with some orbiter that she never hangs out with, or having conversations with guys that have absolutely no sexuality or intent to meet up involved, really doesn't mean anything, if you got some phone numbers from some girls with boyfriends you'd realize this, they are most of the time.... a giant waste of time (at least until they are single, or their boyfriend does something so terrible they want revenge via cheating)

just because you have a girlfriend, doesn't mean you own her, and seriously, if a girl wants to cheat, she will cheat, you can't stop it, and wagging your finger saying, don't you go talking to other guys or trying to cheat on me!! is really not going to help your cause, more then likely it'll just encourage the behavior, unless you threaten to leave her, and you better hold true on that promise, cause she just might test the boundary

you either trust her, or you don't

and if you don't, then you should break up with her
Nope. I can get 95% of women to cheat...I am very good at what I do! I have a very keen understanding of the female brain, If I want a women 9 times out of 10 I will get her, single or not. I am one of the last guys you want hitting on your girlfriend! lol I am not saying this to show off, I am saying it because I have seen it first hand, most women will cheat if the right guy comes along.

Here is the thing, 99% of guys will fail every shit test your gf throws at them, they are beta, weak, and don't have a clue what they are doing! these guys make up the majority of men who your gf talks to, but it only takes one guy! a guy like my self or some of the other vet's in here are the kind of guys that sleep with your gf.

example of how I would initiate contact with an ex:

Me: Hey I was deleting numbers I have no use for anymore in my phone and came across yours, thought I would see how you have been before I delete it?

Her: Really good! and you?

Me: Amazing! I am actually going to be in town this weekend, going to jack's with some friends! you should come out?

Her: I have a boyfriend I don't think he would like that.

Me: Why is he against you having fun? I did not know having a boyfriend was a reason not go out? lol You and I know how to part do we not? bring some of your girlfriends as well!

Her: Yeah we are awesome aren't we (;

Me: Alright nerd Im expecting you there so don't let me down! Its going to fun!


This is just a general example of how easy it is if you can play the right cards, If you know what things to say, how to act ect ect....its really simple to be honest! done it a million times! getting a women to cheat if you know what your doing is easy easy easy! lol There are three things to know:

1# Convince her its your fault not hers so after she can say "It just happend".

2# Convince her that you don't think she is a whore.

3# Pay close attention to her emotions, and actions, play off these.

and when alcohol is involved as it often is you it does most of the work for you. Women and booze are a bad combo!

Picking up women in relationships is something I try to avoid, Morally it is a grey area in my books but to each their own.
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