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Relationship help.
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=143600		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  PUAzilla [ Mon Aug 20, 2012 7:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Relationship help.
Hey guys, I'm in such a mess.

I've been with my girl for over a year.

Things have been great but recently I haven't felt loved by my girlfriend.
We spend time together but she doesn't show me a lot of affection.

She's happy all the time, as if nothing could get her down.
Which is ideal, but she is totally obvious to the fact that I don't feel happy/loved in the relationship. So it just isn't cutting it for me.

I decided to talk to her about it, after reading so much about communication.

I basically said I feel taken for granted and that I can't keep going in a relationship if she's not going to make me feel good in return for making her feel good.

This just felt horribly AFC.

Things haven't got better since.
I'm not sure wht to do.

Can you guys help?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Walk away if your unhappy! It's your life, your the one in control !
Author:  PUAzilla [ Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
Believe me I've considered it.

But I love her, and it's been great in the past.

I want it to work.

She doesn't anything wrong so she's obviously okay.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I want it to work.
Are you sure it's not just the fear of being without pussy?

And unresponsive pussy is better than zero pussy?
Author:  PUAzilla [ Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Nope this girl is a massive part of my life so I need to take the decision very seriously if I decide to dump her.

I don't need to fear a lack of pussy haha. :)
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Mon Aug 20, 2012 8:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey gotta ask! lol

But you know the best "method" is to distance yourself more.
Author:  Keep_Living [ Mon Aug 20, 2012 10:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sometimes we don't appreciate things until they arent there. Im not saying you should break uo with her, but you should withdraw from her and allow her to come to her own realization that yall have a good thing and if she doesnt start investing she's going to lose it. Most of the time its just the fact that you've both been with each other so long it becomes routine and unappreciated. Hopefully you have not merged your lives together so much that you no longer take time for yourself and continue to grow as a person. You need to have your own hobbies, interest, and time for yourself or you will become boring to her. Furlox put a great post up with some basic principles to live by when in a relationship, check it out if you get time. Good Luck!
Author:  dark one [ Mon Aug 20, 2012 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Its not AFC if it something that you need in a relationship, If something is important the other person should understand and try to make you happy which is something you should express to her, perhaps you should break things off? I don't think she is taking you seriously, and she is probably taking you for granted because she thinks "he won't leave me". You walk away and I can promise you she will be shocked! do it in a mature and calm way....why stay with someone who does not respect you as much as you respect them? someone who is not giving you what you need? perhaps she needs to loose you in order to see what she had?

If you did decide to end things she will probably agree with you at first thinking you will cave in and not actually go through with it.

Next she will not talk to you go a few days thinking you are going to bag for her to take her back.

and then she will start missing you...this is when she realizes "shit Im an idot! I had a great guy and all he wanted was a little affection".

the truth is unless you do something drastic she will not change.
Author:  Snarg [ Mon Aug 20, 2012 11:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you "felt AFC" after talking to her, chances are you guys didn't discuss the issue the way you originally planned. I'm familiar with this happening, and that's why I believe acquiring good communication skills is far easier said than done. Give it a few more days to create distance from your last discussion with her so it doesn't seem like you're nagging too much. Then, talk to her again and let her know that you don't want to continue on like this because you aren't getting what you want out of the relationship anymore. She'll ask for examples on how she isn't reciprocating properly, so you need to have a few in mind before you even discuss this with her or it'll all backfire. Don't give her an ultimatum or anything like that, but make it known that you won't continue to put up with it and if there's anything she wants to say related to this subject, she'd better do it now. Confidence is extremely important here, as if she gets even the slightest hint that you won't break it off if things don't change, she'll blow you off and lose respect for you.

If she doesn't change, you MUST walk away. She'll inevitably chase you and work hard to get you back, but that's only if you do this without seeming like a totally spineless pushover. If there's a time to act alpha, it's now.
Author:  PUAzilla [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 9:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Guys, thanks so much for all the help.

You've all covered really important things that are so valuable to know.

By the way, I have plenty of hobbies.
I'm a dance music producer/artist with a big fan base, I workout and I'm constantly improving my body, I'm a musician and a graffiti artist.

I feel like a pretty high value guy. I don't brag about it but I'm comfortable with who I am.

Thanks again for all the help.
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
I would slowly walking away, chaging my behavior towards her, if you are unhappy with your relantioship show her by acts not words...

Go distant and distand.... and see if she has the will power to hook you up back in. And fight for you and try to change.

If she doesnt even try then she is not the girl for you.
Author:  PUAzilla [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Maybe I should turn up my game a bit?

Go a little hard to get, more of a challenge etc.

Which massively contradicts the whole 'communication' thing. :?
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Maybe I should turn up my game a bit?

Go a little hard to get, more of a challenge etc.

Which massively contradicts the whole 'communication' thing. :?
They always need a challenge!

Communicate by your actions, NOT bullshit words!
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 4:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Maybe I should turn up my game a bit?

Go a little hard to get, more of a challenge etc.

Which massively contradicts the whole 'communication' thing. :?
I m big fan of the whole communication thing... its the most important thing in relantioship.

You could also ask why she doesnt do much more. and try to see where it leads the conversation

but you already tried you were honest... and still you dont see change. time for some action.

Heywood, communication between two people in relantioship is vital and important for a long a proper relantioship.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Tue Aug 21, 2012 5:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Heywood, communication between two people in relantioship is vital and important for a long a proper relantioship.
I am not disputing that:

My point is, at the above juncture in the relationship, it is time for action.

By becoming more of a challenge, instead of him always chasing, talking, doing!

Sometimes you just NEED to shut the fuck up, and decide what your options are for yourself! And let her wonder if that is not what your up to?

She is doing nothing to qualify herself to him or the relationship! She deserves no reward for that!

When only one person is talking, that is not COMMUNICATION!
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