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Relationship NUTs - your Non-negotiable Unalterable Terms
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Author:  Max DHV [ Sat Aug 11, 2012 8:39 am ]
Post subject:  Relationship NUTs - your Non-negotiable Unalterable Terms

Theres a book out there called 'Hold onto your N.U.T.S.'. Its about coming up with a set of rules that you adhere to with woman above all others.

I wanna see if we can put them down here and come up with a list of the rules us guys follow with all women we date. Explain why you do so. What you learnt and why this rule works and your others didn't. Also, critique others.

A couple of mine to start with...

Never count the pennies - I was always afraid of being labelled the sugar daddy with girls I dated. I always felt if I spent too much on them they would come to expect it and see me as nothing more than a walking wallet, lose respect for me and then go fuck some other guy. I would approach things with a kind of 60/40 mentality across the board in $ terms. Clearly this sent the wrong message. Back then I didn't earn a whole lot of money mind you and had shit jobs and a ton of debt-so lacked the means to spend freely. These days I am paid alot more and have a much stronger career. My approach now is complete generosity. I pay (or at least motion to pay) for most things and dates and I leave it up to them to step in and pick up the bill when they want. The right girl obviously will and the wrong won't-NEXT. The result is that money is now never an issue in my relationships where it used to create too many moments of tension and argument. Also I am seen as more mature and respected now rather than a $ and c counting loser. Generosity also extends to other areas too beyond money.

All rel status discussions and meeting of F&F initiated by her - In my mid 30s and with all friends and brothers married or close to it, I have been guilty of pushing things far too quick rather than allowing a natural development of the relationship, something that she as a woman is expecting. I would too readily invite her out to family doos and too quickly settle into 'couple' discussions. Now, I resolve to never do that and always allow her to do both first, when she is ready. If she doesn't, I know she isn't comfortable and I can make the choice to move on. If she does, I know that she is investing in the relationship and happy with the way its progressing. Either way I wont 'declare' our status until she does.

Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 12:27 am ]
Post subject: 

- don't accept anger as a response to me destroying her shit tests

what i mean is, a mature female/woman can give credit where credit is due. if you pass her shit tests or put them back onto her, she should be "woman enough" to handle this gracefully. if she flips a fucking lid and totally spazzes out, i'm done.

* if she can't have a sense of humor or chooses to take herself far too seriously, that's not my problem, i won't have a "bitch" on my hands because of it. she's welcome to suck my nuts, but no way in hell will i ever be calling her "girlfriend". *

Author:  Dr. Jones [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 10:29 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Mature communications. No games, freeze outs, shit tests, or whatever else. Why do I have that ground rule? Well it prevents me from having 90% of the problems posted about in this subforum. Hardest part about this ground rule is actually doing it -- easy to demand it from the girl, harder to do it yourself. But I expect her to hold me to the standard, just as I hold her.
Ever have a girl NOT give you shit tests?

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