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GF cancels our planned night and openly meets with other guy
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Author:  hero99 [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 7:44 am ]
Post subject:  GF cancels our planned night and openly meets with other guy
Hey guys.

Strange situation. Me and my GF of 2.5 years met on Monday evening - took her to a nice lake and chilled on a blanket and lay there watching the birds. It was nice. She seemed a little off but we had fun.

So she was wanting to meet up on Wednesday and we arranged that we would see each other in the evening since I'm busy with school work during the day. I then get a text late Monday night saying:

''Slight change of plan, I working tomorrow and then I'm seeing Tom on Wednesday evening. When will I see you?''

Now about Tom: Tom is a guy I know, We wouldn't be best mates but I would speak to him if I saw him and we have common interests in sport. He is quite popular with the girls but plays the whole gay card. Lots of girly days out, coffee meets, etc etc. He is sly. That's the best way I could describe him. He has gotten with other guys' girlfriends before.

How should i handle this? I didn't reply to her text last night and I haven't as of 8am Tuesday.

I feel this is disrespectful in a way but I don't want to be a chump. lol

Thanks in advance
Author:  Furiox [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 8:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Perfect example to punish her!!!!

She made plans with you first and overall you should be a higher priority for her then this guy.

If you will be OK with her flaking on you for some dude she will lose respect for you so please punish this bad behavior. Withdraw your ATTENTION FROM HER, just go do things with friends or work on school work/business and when she calls or texts you ignore it, dont make it look like your ignoring her on purpose and dont explain her why your doing it either, she will know!!! Just tell her you were busy after you think she is punished enough.

Good luck bro and be a man :)
Author:  league [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 10:06 am ]
Post subject: 
And dont do what i would of done back when i was a loser, 'no your not meeting this guy blah blah blah', all that does is DHV him.

Act like you dont give a shit
Author:  Victor_S [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 12:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with the above. You may need to flirt with other women and withdraw yourself (make her miss you) just so to get the attraction back.
Author:  Mago812 [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GF cancels our planned night and openly meets with other guy
Quote:
He has gotten with other guys' girlfriends
How do you mean that? Like did he go on the coffee or a drink with them as friends does, or gotten with them in more sexual way? And is he actually gay or does he just hangs around with lots of girls?

I would be careful in this situation, i'm into one as right now, but as a Tom guy and I intend to get this girl into LTR when I get back from my vacation. Basically she is unhappy with her boyfriend shes been with for about a year and she keeps saying that "its not the same anymore, she cares for him but she doesnt love him, and that she rather spends time with me than with him"- yet she did go with him on the 10 days vacation on the seaside.
Girls are strange, and I wish you the best but if you ask me, a marry-material girl should choose her boyfriend over a friend.

Except in case you two spend too much time together. How often do you see eachother and who usually suggest that you should meet?
Author:  dark one [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
When your gf said:

"Slight change of plan, I working tomorrow and then I'm seeing Tom on Wednesday evening. When will I see you?''

This is what she really meant:

"Hanging out with Tom is more of a priority to me then hanging out with you so rather then break off my "date" with Tom I am going to break plans with you and see you when ever..."

I would not tolerate this at all! In fact I would call her out on it! I would tell her you want to hang out on wed., and if she says she has plans with Tom then ask her to break the plans...If she says no then you clearly know were she stands and I would at that point come out and tell her that you should be the number one priority in her life, especially between two men, and that if you are not then you think it is best to break things off.

Now this might sound harsh! but the reality is that women ALWAYS always! break plans for a man if he has high value and she has a high interest level, If her interest level was high she would not have even asked you this question, she would have broken her plans of with Tom and made plans with you. This is concerning, however don't freak out! stay calm with her and talk it out, make it clear where you stand! You clearly don't trust him and I can tell it bothers you so be the alpha male and take a clear stance....if she doesn't like it then break up and find a girl who can respect you enough to make you a priority.

Remember when it comes to you and another man you should always be 1#
Author:  dark one [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
p.s it is not beta to make it clear that you are not comfortable with her hanging out with guys alone. This is part of a relationship, you are not gaming this girl anymore you are in a relationship so the same rules do not apply, never tell her what to do but if she respect you enough she will stop hanging out with this guy one on one to please you, it should be no problem if she want to hang out with guys around you or when she is with a group but one on one is not ok.

It clearly bothers you so draw a line and stand tall, the beta thing to do would be a cry about it....the alpha thing to do is calmly state you point, tell her what you want, and if she does not agree break up. Why be with a girl who doesn't respect you? she should want to make you happy!
Author:  TheSeagull [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 4:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
basically what we have here is your GF breaking plans with you to hang out with a guy who is a known womanizer.
we are not talking about the gay friend, or the AFC beta orbiter who's 101% friend-zoned. breaking plans for either of these would be disrespectful. tolerable given a great reason (e.g. my BFF just lost his dad and I should cheer him), but bad. breaking plans for womanizer Tom is very bad. especially since it looks like Tom is not one of the BFFs of your girlfriend. to me, this goes beyond plain and simple disrespect, and it's a very shady area that borders CheatingLand.
if you trust your GF not to be cheating on you, there are two ways here:
1) a long freeze-out of several days
2) open and overt communication about why this whole thing is bad and you will not tolerate it
whichever one you choose, be ready to walk if the situation so demands.

I had a much less threatening situation coming (my GF chose plans with me over plans with her BFF, the BFF acted all butthurt and made her feel guilty) and still I chose way 2 - I asserted that I demand to be #1 priority over any and every friend and will walk away if this is not the case.

whatever you do, keep your eyes open man.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 1:03 am ]
Post subject: 
i'd dump her
Author:  HiChamps:) [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 4:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
I remember in the beginning of my last relationship, my girlfriend suddenly one night hung out with a guy I knew, a hardcore womanizer.

I thought "wtf?"

But I chose the mindset of abundance and the quote "If you love her, set her free. if she comes back, its yours, if sshe does't, she never was".

I was totally ok with it (acted a little bit). She was surprised and very happy for it.
It made her like me more. The next time she asked me if it was ok, and if I wanted it, she would stop seeing him.

But girls and relationships are different.
Author:  gtdave [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 5:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
So what happened with this??
Author:  JonnyDeep [ Mon Aug 13, 2012 8:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just ignore her abit without it being too obvious for the few next days..
Go to the beach with hot women friends or some other girls do not hit on them on anyway be playful and fun and make sure it gets on facebook or something make cool pictures..

Also those guys that u said that have lost their girlfriends, were probably bunch of insecure fags who reacted with jealousy on certain situations and got them to lose her..

Never show women jealousy!
NEVER!
N-E-V-E-R
Even not a bitsy itsy tiny crum of it.. Nothing..
You're Cool,Smooth,Focused on your life and being succesful,Girls want to fuck you!
U don't Show IT.
PERIOD.
:twisted:
Author:  vhou812 [ Mon Aug 13, 2012 9:00 pm ]
Post subject:  I'm with dark one
I think dark one has this right. If you're gaming a chick who means nothing or little to you emotionally, then the "I don't care" attitude is the way to go.

In a relationship of 2.5 years though, the rules are different. Women want to feel desired. In short, you not giving a shit if she cancels on you after dating that long gives her more justification to place less value on you, and your relationship. ( Why doesn't he care if I braek plans with him? etc.)

I say you tell her you don't mind her hanging out with him, but breaking made plans is not cool. I'd be cool, calm, and confident. Be prepared for her to say then we need a break, and if she goes that route, that's your license to start gaming her friends again. Keep in mind that 2 things will play out. Either it wasn't meant to be and she is already gone and you're better off, or you'll reaffirm your status as the better choice and she'll make that choice.

Good luck. Curious how it all turned out too.
Author:  Reo [ Tue Aug 14, 2012 5:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Just Fuck her til you find another woman
Going on a date with some guy named Tom is unacceptable.....
Basically what I'm saying is Dump her
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
I cant understand this advice going on here... punish her? Ignore her....

She deliberately cancel a date to go on another date with a well know guy that has the reputation of fucking another girls. You are going to ignore her punish her for her bad behavior... (her looking to fuck another guy)

You feel sad for her atitude, and you should. but guys here telling you to ignore her and show her she didnt affect you.

you have two options.

Tell her you should see other people, stop having a monogamos relantioship

or

Dump her... and when you dump her show her she doenst affect you one bit and why you break with her.
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