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How to get the sex I want
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Author:  se7in [ Wed Jul 25, 2012 1:55 am ]
Post subject:  How to get the sex I want
To start things off my girlfriend of 2 years that i live with has been through hell and back. She was molested at a young age, beat by her ex-boyfriend and cheated on by her ex-girlfriend. That being said, I love her. She saw through my game/pickup and loves me for who I am. I can be a dork around her and she loves me for it. My main "sticking point" at this point is getting the sex that I want: namely more blow jobs.

-She RARELY wants to do it/initiates.
-When I ask, she gets upset and tells me she feels like she has to do it and it turns her off.

I love eating her out, and do it alot. We have sex about twice a week on average. Is this something I can '"train her" to like and want? Do I just have to accept it and move on?
Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Wed Jul 25, 2012 3:18 am ]
Post subject: 
To quote something Tariq Nasheed once wrote (or said, at least): "Never trust a woman who isn't happy to give you a blowjob."

Now I'm not sure if I agree with that 100%. But I think there's an angle here that deserves to be looked at. You enjoy going down on her. Cool. But is it really because you think her pussy smells like warm apple pie? Probably not. You just enjoy pleasuring her that way. Which leads me to believe that it's possible she just feels like having sex with you in general is a chore unless she's getting pleasured. In other words, she's selfish as hell.

Or, maybe your dick is just super distasteful and needs a better scent/taste. They have cures for this.

Possibly she just think it seems like a super slutty move to make, especially if she's not comfortable with sex.

Three options, maybe someone can think of more. But the point is, there is some reason why. You don't know yet why it is, so figure it, then deal with that appropriately. At least from what your post said, I don't see you having any idea why she doesn't want to do it. She's not an animal, there's no way to "train her" to like doing it.
Author:  Consequences_ [ Wed Jul 25, 2012 3:22 am ]
Post subject: 
The issue is that if you've been with her 2 years, that the precedent has already been set. Trying to change the frame after so long is hard to do because her midset is that you have accepted the satus quo for 2 years therefor why should she?

But to offer advice, withdraw from her physically. She doesnt wanna suck? Than you dont wanna fuck. Don't initiate sex or foreplay despite your desire. Let her initiate sex. Make her coke out and say "I want you to fuck my brains out". When she does, whip out your sailor and say, "Wrap your lips and round my cock",

Your gonna have todo this for a while to "rewire" her mindset.

Don't even try talking to her about it. Eventually she will learn that it's something that pleases you and must be done to keep you satisfied which in turn will make her want to do it because every girl desires the feeling of being wanted.

Hold your frame though! Don't half ass it. If your gonna do this you have to be able to keep your desires at bay longer than her. YOU MUST MAKE HER INITIATE SEX.
Author:  JuanAntonioB [ Wed Jul 25, 2012 4:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
I kinda went thru a similar thing.

my girl had bad experiences in her past and when we started dating she would mention shit like not wanting to give head often because it feels like a chore and not wanting to do this or that etc etc.

i put up with it for a bit but let her know in no uncertain terms that if I dont get what I want, its gonna be hard for me to stay in the relationship and/or stay faithful.

after fucking her several times my desire declined a bit (the chase if you will) and i started withholding sex and not initiating it or talking about it.

it made her go crazy and super horny and basically now whenever I see her shes always horny and i just whip out my dick and make her give me nasty blowjobs but dont give her sex until she really deserves it
Author:  Crypto [ Wed Jul 25, 2012 6:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Most children when they are molested are required to perform "oral sex" on their abuser. Adults know that if they vaganally penetrate a young girl, a Doctor will know immediately upon examiniation. Orla sex allows the abuser to get the sexual gratification they seek without as much "physical" evidence.

This girl has been through some pretty bad experiences in her past, and may never be able to overcome them. If I am correct, you see a BJ as something "exciting and natural" while she may see it as the "worst experience ever". You have to decide if you are ok with that, and if not, then you need to let her go.


Peace...
Author:  dark one [ Wed Jul 25, 2012 6:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with above! It a tough situation I sympathize with you man because sex is a big part of a relationship! Its a very big part! at the same time I can understand why she feels the way she does and can you blame her?? It sad that this shit happens!

I think you have to think long and hard about how much you like this girl and if you can see your self with her long term then I would talked to her about it, tell her you love her and you want to help her deal with all the horrible things she has been though! A doctors of some sort would be your best bet!

The thing you must realize is that she may never change, and although you need to be understanding and very very caring about the situation!! she also needs to understand that there are two people in a relationship and she might need to get some help if she wants the relationship to work. If she is not willing to do so then perhaps you are not the right man for her...some guys are not cut out to be with a women like that! its going to be a long journey and an emotional one too! I know personally that I could not handle it.

its something to think about. But remember its not her fault and you should never make her feel as though it is! If sex is the issue I would bring it up in a way that will not offend or upset her.
Author:  se7in [ Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:16 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for all your input and support guys! She is seeing a therapist about her past and is helping her alot. She is happier/perkier all around! I love her and want to make this work. I want to have the crazy sex I used to have with all the other HBs, but I want to have it with her. I will try to pretend to not want sex and have her make a move.
Author:  MrBreeze [ Thu Jul 26, 2012 3:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Man, this thread broke my heart...

I have dealt with a similar situations and when I read the title I thought I could offer some advice but after reading what you wrote I changed my mind. I agree with all that has been offered here but man... Im not sure its the right thing to do to play with the with holding of sex in this situation. She has some severe issues. I think youre doing the right thing if you love her but listen to what someone said... at some point you have to show more love for yourself than her. Its difficult to just give up and walk, trust me Ive been there. But if youre not happy then you cant help her be happy. Bottom Line. Playing games is all fun and games when youre in courtship but now youre having to play games in a relationship and thats a good sign of a failing one. My advice is to walk if it doesnt get drastically better soon. Im sorry brother, good luck to you man.
Author:  promethues [ Thu Jul 26, 2012 6:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Pheromones serve as sexual attractants and produce amazing effects on human sexual relations. You can attract any woman using pheromones and seduce her to have the sex with you.
Author:  brary [ Thu Jul 26, 2012 7:09 am ]
Post subject: 
This may be a bigger problem than it sounds. You mentioned she went through some bad shit in her past. Maybe she represses any sort of act that would make her feel like she's being used including getting down on her knees and fully submitting herself to your cock? You did indeed mention that she said, "I feel like I have to." Most girls willingly give head to make their partners happy.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Thu Jul 26, 2012 10:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I kinda went thru a similar thing.

my girl had bad experiences in her past and when we started dating she would mention shit like not wanting to give head often because it feels like a chore and not wanting to do this or that etc etc.

i put up with it for a bit but let her know in no uncertain terms that if I dont get what I want, its gonna be hard for me to stay in the relationship and/or stay faithful.

after fucking her several times my desire declined a bit (the chase if you will) and i started withholding sex and not initiating it or talking about it.

it made her go crazy and super horny and basically now whenever I see her shes always horny and i just whip out my dick and make her give me nasty blowjobs but dont give her sex until she really deserves it
you are my fucking hero! 8)
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